Author: Christine Wyrtzen

COPING WITH CHANGE

Rachel went into labor, and she had hard labor. And when her labor was at its hardest, the midwife said to her, “Do not fear, for you have another son.” And as her soul was departing (for she was dying), she called his name Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin. Genesis 35:16-18

         Too many changes in one’s life, all at once, put a person in a fragile place emotionally. It seems too much to process. When I initiate the changes, it’s easier. But most change is what happens to me and I have no control over it. Good changes are challenging enough but bad changes, one after another, bring the onset of grief.

         How do you handle change? Do you have a strategy? It’s easy to conceive man-made ones. 1.) Cope with today and don’t borrow tomorrow’s trouble. 2.) Lean on family and friends.   This is usually the best that we can initiate without God. If things are really hard, these won’t sustain. Inner stability will deteriorate.

         Jacob’s life, a life much longer than ours, had drastic changes. He left home and never saw his parent’s again. He had his dreams smashed repeatedly when Rachel’s father tricked him into staying beyond seven years. He lost the relationship with his brother. His name was changed to Israel. He perception of his sons took a downward turn. He even saw his own heart change as God chiseled away self-will and pride. On this day, Rachel, the love of his life, dies. All this happens on the very arrival to Bethel, the place where they would have settled for the remainder of their lives.

         There is a certain kind of personality that thrives on change but I contend that it’s change they control. No one likes an unexpected knock on the door that brings tragic news. I’ve had my share of seasons where everyday brought some kind of bad news. Difficult times never seem to last a year. Instead, five years, twelve years, even twenty-two years. I’m very familiar with how that looks since severe depression runs in my extended family. I’ve seen some break with reality. Feeling that I could also follow my genetic leanings, I knew that I must draw close to Jesus and follow His lead in developing spiritual strategies.

         What did Jesus do when he felt the pressures of his life? Got alone with His Father to pray. He reviewed the scriptures and God’s history. This is the prescription for any of us today who know that the only stability available to us is the foundation of our faith in God.

• God knows all things future. He’s not wringing His hands over this change in my life. Acts 8:26
• God already knows the outcome and, if I’m willing, will lead me safely to the other side. Numbers 23:19
• God is unchanging. Though my life shifts, He is always the same. I cling to Him and not temporal things. James 1:17
• God is still a righteous Judge even when it appears evil is winning. Psalms 7:11-13
• God is faithful and true.   Deut. 32:4

“It is well for us that, amidst all the variableness of life, there is One whom change cannot affect; One whose heart can never alter, and on whose brow mutability can make no furrows.” Spurgeon

OBSESSED WITH MYSELF

Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble on me by making me stink to the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites and the Perizzites. Genesis 24:30

         What is my reaction when someone’s sin affects my wellbeing? Am I angry because I’ve been hurt or am I angry because the God I love has been wounded by their sin? Is their transgression a spiritual issue to me? Not if I’m obsessed with myself.

Children can be little more than a means for my own public acceptance. I dress them up cute, I teach them manners, I encourage them to do well in school, I help them recite Bible verses, and if I’m honest, it’s not as much for them as it is to make me look good as a parent. I use my children. And when they fail publicly, my first painful reaction is personal disgrace.  Jacob’s initial response is self-centered. He did not lament that his children had sinned against God. He said, “You have brought trouble on me!” This whole chapter is a deviation from God-centeredness. All the pronouns are “I” and “me.” God is hardly mentioned at all.

I’m reviewing some of the biggest hurts of my life. I forgave each person who offended me but how did I respond initially to the offense? Was I sad because that person sinned against God first? Was I concerned for their spiritual well-being?

When someone in our family makes us look bad, the last thing we should consider in the big scheme of things is our reputation. If we really love them, our obsession should be their relationship with God. How has their sin corrupted it? Will they get past the breach in their relationship with Him to resume their spiritual journey? Of all matters, this takes priority.

When my reputation is more important than the spiritual ramifications of another’s sin, I need to look in the mirror. My heart is also in a precarious place.

Show me how deeply You are hurt by the sin of Your children. Amen

I DON’T GET IT!

And all who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city. On the third day, when they were sore, two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and came against the city while it felt secure and killed all the males.   Genesis 34:24-25

I’d love your feedback. Tomorrow I’m going to post our collective responses to my question today. This is a first! I’ve been thinking about this story off and on all night so here’s my question being posed to you.

How can Simeon and Levi, two sons of Jacob with no history of violence, so easily go in and kill hundreds of men in a weakened condition? They broke their covenant vow with them, then murdered them in cold blood. Does the need for revenge – for raping their sister, Dinah – really fuel such a rage? I would think that any man or woman would have to work their way up to mass murder. They must have killed before on a smaller scale to do this so easily but I don’t see evidence of it.

As I write this, the city of Ferguson, Missouri is rioting. A community that has no history of violence is suddenly filling the streets. It is in response to the reported ‘cold blooded killing’ of a young black man. Is this similar?

I look forward to your insights! Where will you comment? Here on our comment page.  Or, on our facebook page. I will also pose the question there – and you can ask our Father about it. See what wisdom we hear, and then share.

www.facebook.com/daughtersofpromise

Lord, show us something about Simeon and Levi, something about human nature, something about ourselves, that we need to know. Amen

 

WHAT GOD CONSIDERS TREACHEROUS

And all who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city. Genesis 24:34

         Dinah has been raped by the son of the king of Shechem. Her brothers, the sons of Jacob, are bent on revenge. Their plan is to somehow compromise the physical strength of the viral men of Shechem so that they will have opportunity to do them harm without risking their own lives. The plot? To feign a treaty, to suggest that all the men of Shechem be circumcised, leading them to believe that both tribes will share the sacred rite of brotherhood. Commercially, both will benefit. Circumcision, the sign of the covenant between Jewish people and their God, was used as a weapon of treachery.

         To understand how serious this is, think of it this way. You invite a certain person to share communion with you on Sunday and after the service, you take advantage of his proximity to kill him. Shocking to think of it this way.

         There are lesser acts of treachery too; praying with someone to learn their secrets, buttering up the pastor for personal gain, marrying someone for money, and making a promise with your fingers crossed behind your back.

         Simeon and Levi were the two sons of Jacob that masterminded this scheme. Later, when Jacob gave his final blessing to his sons, each was given land as an inheritance. All except Simeon and Levi. Jacob could not forget what was in the heart of his sons. Rightly so – for these two brothers went on to plot unthinkable things against their own brother, Joseph. They seized him, considered murdering him, but instead, sold him into slavery. They dipped his clothes in the blood of an animal and proceeded to massacre the heart of their father by saying that a wild beast had killed him.

         When I perpetrate or even take part in deceitful acts, even small ones, they corrupt my heart. My response to wrongdoing is deadened. The next time around, it will be easier to sin. I will not be in touch with the regression either. Not until it’s too late.

         What is being done in the name of Jesus that God would consider treacherous? Where, in the name of God, am I manipulating others and justifying it?

Don’t let me read the stories in scripture, be shocked by their evil, and fail to see my own sin. Let the stories in Your Word be my teacher, Lord. Amen

SPIRIT-POSSESSION

And God said to Abraham, “As for you, you shall keep my covenant, you and your offspring after you throughout their generations.  Genesis 17:9

         I woke up very early this morning praying for each family member, that in each part of this day, their trust and faith in God would not fail.  I prayed that their hearts would be ruled by peace, not anxiety.  I asked for His Spirit to rise up strong in each of them, giving them direction, stability, and endurance.  One might ask if anything is particularly wrong – that this mother would wake up early and pray like this.  The answer is no.  Not really.  Yet, there are spiritual challenges just because life here is imperfect and every day brings spiritual struggles.

         In every part of Abraham’s blessing, his offspring was mentioned and included.  So it is with God’s promises to every child of the kingdom.  What good is it if I trust Christ and keep my faith to myself?  I must do all I can to love Jesus well while loving my family.  The decisions I make today have an outcome yet to be seen.  Every important decision reaps results within my family a hundred years from now.

         As God spoke to Abraham about the covenant He was making with him, Abraham fell on his face.  It was more favor than he could take in.  The love of God is like that.  It comes with promises that sound too good to be true.  Humility and awe are expressed on our knees.  And here’s the thing ~ He doesn’t lay the burden of the future of our family on us without promising the resources to help us get there.  The treasury of heaven is at our disposal and the Spirit of the very God who makes the promises lives inside of us.  When our hearts and bodies fail, we can rely on Spirit-possession to take over.   Who else that we serve today will be so kind!

         In the next 24 hours, I will be required to do a dozen things.  Those who ask, though they love me, will not empower me to do the job.  I will have to harness the internal resources to rise to the task.  Some think the same is true of God.  Every command in scripture causes them to strive.  Many then resent Him for being unreasonable.  Oh, for a paradigm correction.  What God requires, He enables on eagle’s wings.  Nothing is too hard when the wind of God’s Spirit propels our family forward – singing all the way.

Yes, I’m in covenant with You.  Yes, I pray for my offspring.  But You carry them on this day as I lift them to You.  No one is too heavy for me for they are not in my arms, but Yours.  Amen

BUT HE LOVES HER!

But Hamor spoke with them, saying, “The soul of my son Shechem longs for your daughter. Please give her to him to be his wife. Genesis 34:8

            How many times has sin been excused because of a love professed? Affairs are condoned because someone cried, “But I found my true soul mate.” A couple whom should never marry do so anyway because they insist that they love each other. Proclamations of love seem to provide valid excuses for most anything.

            For Hamor, the king of Shechem, the matter is pretty uncomplicated. His son loves Dinah, got carried away and raped her, and now wants to marry her to make it right. What is the problem? The mindset of the ungodly is simplistic. They follow their passions.

            For Jacob and his family, the matter is much more complicated. God wants a pure bloodline for the coming Messiah. He’s told them not to intermarry. To act honorably, Jacob’s family should honor the promise that they made to God and turn down the marriage offer. Instead, revenge will color their judgment and they will disgrace the sacred rite of circumcision.

            Is there a sin in my life that I excuse because doing it makes me feel happy? Or it brings needed funds? Or it brings me peace? Or helps me cope?   To honor my marriage vows to God, I will enter seasons of discomfort. I must ask for the grace to live through them. God promises grace, after all. I’m never allowed to take a vacation from God’s ways just because things got hard and doing something else makes me feel better. When the only way of escape is contrary to God’s way, I can be sure that God will make another way.

How well I remember my bad choices because I felt ‘I couldn’t take it anymore.’ Thank you for the suffering that increased my spiritual stamina. Give me the grace to never take sinful detours again. Amen

Question: Have you ever taken the easy way out because you followed your heart? Perhaps your relationship with God has been distant ever since. Go back to where you lost your intimacy and make things right today.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY TOO FAR

And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her. Genesis 34:2

            How much responsibility did Dinah assume for the rape she suffered? Probably a lot. Maybe she embraced all of it. After all, if she hadn’t given in to her curiosity to explore Shechem, she wouldn’t have been there to be preyed upon. It was probably hard to separate her part – and the predator’s part. She may have been in the wrong place but she didn’t go there to engage in sexual behavior. The idea of a violent rape was the man’s idea, not hers. In eternal realms, God held him responsible for it.

            It is human nature to go to extremes when dealing with responsibility. Either I’m not willing to assume any, believing that everyone else is to blame, or I take every ounce of the blame.

            I’m 60 years old. I’ve made a lot of alliances over the course of my life. Some friendships have been seasonal and significant to my spiritual journey. Some others, I wish I’d never made. I was naïve and didn’t see the true nature of the one I let close. In one case, the damage done by the ‘friend’ was severe. I spent years assuming all responsibility for the fallout. I reasoned, “It’s my fault for making friends with this person.” I couldn’t see that my naiveté and their inappropriate behavior were two separate things.

            Maybe you’re in a business relationship gone bad. Maybe you married someone you regret. Maybe you chose to go somewhere once and had no idea that something awful would happen as a result. The only thing worse than grieving the loss is to punish yourself for what is not your fault. The guilt for other people’s sinful behavior lies with them. They conceived it. They committed it.

            What complicates this is what happens when others who love us hear what we suffered. Consider what went down when Dinah told her family about the rape. I can hear her father rage. “How could you have gone outside the camp to bring this on yourself!” This is often where misplaced responsibility is born. People in grief don’t think clearly and often speak things they regret. They play the ‘only if’ card.

            What can I do today if I am partly responsible for something bad going happening? How can I come to understand the truth about true guilt and over-responsibility? From personal experience, I would advise two things. 1.) Ask God to show you a safe person to tell your story to, someone who will listen like Jesus listens. 2.) Seek God in prayer, study, and meditation about your story. Ask Him to reveal your story ‘to you’ the way that He would tell it. I have found that my version of my own story and His version are two entirely different narrations.

            As long as I assume responsibility that isn’t mine, there is no healing. Letting go of false guilt opens the door of hope.

You promised that Your sheep would hear Your voice. Speak today, Lord. Be the counselor that each one of us needs. Amen

Question: If you’ve been wronged, are you the one who has beaten yourself until there’s hardly a person left? Would you entertain the thought that you’ve assumed responsibility that may not be yours? Start with this. Imagine another person coming to you with a story identical to yours. What feedback would you give them about who is to blame?