Author: Christine Wyrtzen

DEFENDING YOURSELF WITH THE TRUTH

         There I was: by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes. These twenty years I have been in your house. I served you fourteen years for your two daughters, and six years for your flock, and you have changed my wages ten times. Genesis 31:40-41

         Jacob had had enough. He had labored under Laban’s patriarchal umbrella and suffered unfairly. He had been stolen from, lied to, and cheated out of earned wages. He had been tricked into taking a wife he never chose. On this day though, after being hunted down and accused of not acting justly, he rose up to tell the truth of the story.

         Making a ‘defense’ is one of those touchy subjects. If I defend myself in the heat of the moment, I can easily hear, “Well, aren’t you defensive!”  At that point, the other assumes my guilt instead of innocence. Somewhere in this equation is turning the other cheek and suffering silently like Jesus did when he was like a lamb led to slaughter. How can I know when it’s right for the truth to be spoken? If only there were a scripture and verse that said, ‘When you are wronged, speak up for yourself.’ There is not.

         A defense given for the sake of truth is one thing but a defense given for the sake of wounded pride is another. Because there was no sin in Jesus’ heart, and because he rose to defend (and tell) the truth on many occasions, I can conclude that making a defense can be a righteous act. How, and why, I make it is the issue.

         The fact that Jacob had waited so long to set the record straight is probably evidence that he had worked through his injustice with God. His rage was long gone. On the day of their final goodbye, it was only right for Laban to hear the lineup of past events from a righteous point of view.

         Jesus told his disciples that the Holy Spirit would come and ‘reveal all things’ to their hearts. That was their comfort and it is also mine when the subtleties of navigating relationships leave me confused. All the more reason to live prayerfully with my ear to my Father’s heart. When wronged, He will convict me of wounded pride even when the offense is real. When emotions are hot, He will restrain my speech. I can make no rational choices when I’m in a “How dare you do this to me!” kind of mood.

My family suffered silently and never spoke up. You have to help me break the cycle and not swing to the other side. Balance, Lord! Amen

Journal Question: Jesus said, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things.” John 14:26 On what side of the pendulum do you swing? Are you normally hot and defensive or are you a silent sufferer? Talk to the Lord about what you need to strike a balance so that you only speak when, and how, Jesus would.

CONSIDER HIS BEHAVIORAL PATTERN!

Why did you flee secretly and trick me, and did not tell me, so that I might have sent you away with mirth and songs, with tambourine and lyre? Genesis 31:27

         Jacob and his wives snuck away from Laban’s camp and headed back to Canaan. They did it while Laban and his sons were thirty miles away so that making an exit was feasible. Laban came home, discovered them gone and pursued them. He was angry and accused them of leaving secretly and foregoing a going away party that he would have thrown. Really? Laban had no intention of allowing Jacob to leave. Jacob had been the ‘blessed’ visitor who had brought Laban nothing but wealth and prosperity.

         Did Jacob believe Laban’s words that were intended to produce guilt and perhaps a change of mind? And what happens when a less-than-true person tries to manipulate you? Do you give them the benefit of the doubt without applying spiritual discernment?

         For much of my early life, I took people at their word. Oh, how I paid! Repeatedly! I simply had no training from my home of origin on reading people. If they said they were trustworthy, I believed them. No wonder so much of my teaching now focuses on wisdom and discernment. God would not have us live as lambs to the slaughter. Proverbs, just one book that makes up the scriptures, is full of warnings about trusting the wrong people.

         How can you tell today who is sincere? Should you just believe the person who claims they are in earnest? I must always start with the other’s behavioral patterns. Their track record. What kind of history have they built in the past? If change is sincere, there will be a trail to prove it.

         Many have run home to a marriage partner and put themselves in an unsafe environment all because they were charmed into doing it. Jesus would never have us love peace more than we love truth. He teaches us to be discerners of spirits if we are willing to sit at His feet and learn. There are Labans among us; out to feed their appetites for greed, power and control. No child of God should enable such behavior by being the kind of peacemaker Jesus was not.

For the one who is poised today to make a decision about a troublesome relationship, make them spiritually street smart. Just like You, Jesus. Amen

Journal Question: Have you been one who has been easily fooled by a certain kind of person? Isolate the lies you believed and ask God to show you why you needed to believe them. What would be the fallout if you no longer caved to their arguments?

RUNNING FROM TEARS
 
Even in laughter the heart may be in pain, and the end of joy may be grief.  Proverbs 14:13
 
That which is breaking our heart is often difficult to acknowledge.  Somewhere beneath our sanguine exterior, a grief pokes at us constantly, begging for acknowledgment.  Too frightening to embrace and process, we can run from it, sometimes indefinitely.

I am often aware of the sad eyes at social gatherings.  Those who regale others with the funniest stories of the evening can be the very ones who cry themselves to sleep in private agony. Continue reading “Running From Tears” →

INHERITANCE TALK

Your testimonies are my heritage forever, for they are the joy of my heart.  Psalm 119:111

    Have you ever been denied what is rightfully yours?  Perhaps inheritance issues have divided your family and humanly speaking, you came out on the short end.  The pain of broken promises can turn the nicest hearts into bitter ones.  Twisted old men and women were once young dreamers.  Hurt upon hurt chipped away at their trust and their optimism and the face of cynicism was slowly revealed with the years.  With nothing and no one to count on, they threw up their hands and resigned themselves to get nothing.  They tested everyone in their life; “they love me…”, “they love me not….”  Those who had a relationship with them felt the pressures of the relationship and got weary of jumping through hoops to prove their love.  Continue reading “Inheritance Talk” →

                                                            ERUPTIONS IN ANGER
 
                                A quick-tempered man acts foolishly.  Proverbs 14:17

       Take a glass that is mostly full of water, add a little more, and it will spill over the side.  Take a man or woman who is already full of rage, add one small incident, and the anger will spill over.  Many who will erupt today over the smallest issue aren’t really reacting to the incident at hand.  They were simply filled to the brim with rage before the episode ever occurred.  The ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ got all the attention as there was no more room left in their container for any more anger.
Each of us were created with a lot of elasticity in our spirit to withstand the pressures of life.  But for many, that elastic has been stretched to the limit by the events of their youth.  With no more ‘give’, it’s pulled taut.  It’s brittle and it snaps easily.
What is the answer for a hot-tempered person?  He must discern what it is he’s angry about and take the initiative to deal with it.  Living in perpetual rage is not fair to friends and family.  Children live with an angry parent and never know when the lid is going to blow.  It is usually over a gallon of milk left out on the counter or something else equally as insignificant.  Husbands live with an angry wife and tiptoe around the house, not knowing what it will be that will set her off.
Underneath the rage is usually a profound sense of powerlessness and injustice.  Each of us longs to live in Eden, that place where people could be trusted implicitly.  We strain for justice and when it seems out of reach, especially as children, we don’t know what to do with the hurt.  Rage is the result of a compilation of offenses.  Only God can give perspective and healing.
Bottom line ~ rage hurts the one who harbors it.  And, it hurts the ones who live around it.  God promises peace, rationality, and the ability to be long-suffering to anyone who is courageous enough to take inventory of his own soul.

Jesus, You have transformed many angry people.  Heal Your children.  Give them  willing hearts to look at the hurt inside.  Hold them.   Amen

WHEN GOD MAKES OTHERS AFRAID OF US

When it was told Laban on the third day that Jacob had fled, he took his kinsmen with him and pursued him for seven days and followed close after him into the hill country of Gilead. But God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream by night and said to him, “Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.” Genesis 31:22-24

         How does God protect us if we are His child? He nudges us to take a different route, buy a different house, even make a different friend. He’ll send angels to stand guard to keep us from harm. What’s little known is how God directly warns our enemies to stay away from us. He shuts the ‘mouth of the lions’ and puts a watch on their tongue. Certainly not all the time though. He didn’t even do this for Jesus. Like Him, we will be hated and are called to carry a cross. But God has a destiny for each of us, a purpose for which we were born. He will take us safely through all He has ordained for us to do and protect us when His purposes are threatened.

         God came to Laban in his own Aramean tongue and told him what to say to Jacob. He came to the heathen King Abimelech to keep him from touching Sarah, Abraham’s wife. He also spoke to Balaam to prevent him from cursing the children of Israel. I can know that spiritual enemies are on God’s leash. No one will prevail over God’s child if it is outside of His will. He will intervene somehow even if it means speaking directly to our enemy. Have you ever encountered a dark person who seemed afraid of you? Perhaps you were confused about it. In these post-Christian days where society is rapidly deteriorating, we should be savvy enough to realize that this will become commonplace. The more oppressed the person, the more sparks will be generated when a child of God is in the same room.

         A closing thought however. The safest child of God is an obedient one. I shouldn’t expect God’s protection if I’ve taken a self-willed detour. God made it clear from the beginning. ‘Obey me and you’ll be blessed. Disobey me and you’ll be led into captivity.’ God does protect but I can only count on God having my back if I am walking in Jesus’ footsteps.

It’s humbling to think about all the times you restrained my enemies yet I accused you of being absent from my life. Again, I’m sorry. How I praise You for being a present and active Father. Amen

Journal Question: Write out a prayer today and ask God to hold the tongue of someone who habitually attacks you. Put their speech under the control of God’s Spirit. Note the effect.

INVISIBLE INFLUENCES

So Jacob arose and set his sons and his wives on camels. Laban had gone to shear his sheep, and Rachel stole her father’s household gods. Genesis 31:17,19

         Jacob is about to leave for Canaan. Laban is out of the camp, away in distant fields with his sons. With no one watching, Rachel steals her father’s idols. I’ve always believed that there was a part of her that held on to her father’s gods for protection but the reason is much broader.

         Whoever possesses a family’s gods is considered the leader of the family, and the one who possesses the rights to the father’s inheritance. If Rachel were the oldest, that’s one thing. But Rachel had brothers! With Laban away and out of sight, Rachel stole her brothers’ inheritance.

         I read this with wide eyes this morning. She committed the same sin as her husband. He had tricked his father into giving him Esau’s blessing and inheritance. Had Jacob told Rachel the story? I don’t know. But ‘like often produces like’ even in the invisible world. In families, grievous sins are passed down and re-committed even though the next generation often has no idea what their ancestors committed. It’s ‘in the blood.’

         Just as new blood flow is needed to repair physical wounds, new blood flow is also needed to repair spiritual wounds. No one’s blood has the power to wash a bloodline clean except what Jesus freely offers. He longs for us to apply the cleansing power of His sacrifice to our ancestral line. There need not be insidious generational influences looming over our families any longer. I need not stand by and watch the consequences of my family’s sin hurt my children and grandchildren. I can stop the unholy legacy from continuing by applying the blood of Christ to each generational pattern that holds my family captive. By doing this, Christ cancels out the effects that were caused by their sin.

         Invisible influences are destructive but in Christ, they are also supernaturally positive and redemptive.

Father, someone is coming to You in the name of Your Son, Jesus. They long to be free from the negative and invisible influences of family. Guide them, Holy Spirit, in a spiritual housecleaning so that they may live as Your children rather than the obedient children of fallen flesh and blood. Amen

HOW DO I KNOW GOD’S WILL?

All the wealth that God has taken away from our father belongs to us and to our children. Now then, whatever God has said to you, do.” Genesis 31:16

         Should Jacob leave Laban’s household, take his two daughters (Jacob’s wives), and go back to his home country? A huge decision. Yes, he had been betrayed by Laban but betrayal is not always a cause for fleeing.

         It is my experience that discerning God’s will involves many steps. It requires the discernment to recognize the signs which only comes by asking God for it. How did Jacob know it was time to leave?

         Griffith Thomas, a Welsh theologian of the late 1800’s, pointed out in his writings several principles for discerning God’s will and he used Jacob’s story to make his point.

1. Jacob had a desire to leave. (Genesis 30:25) When I walk closely with God, my desires are shaped by my time with Him and the Word changing my appetites. God longs to give me the desires of my heart yet I can often think my desire, whatever it is, must be squashed.
2. Circumstances necessitated a change of some sort. It has been my experience that God will cause things to close in around me, making going forward impossible. That is usually a sign it’s time to do something else.
3. God’s word came strongly to him. I must ask God to speak and give me the ears and eyes to recognize His voice. It might be through the Word itself, someone else’s advice, or through a dream. God is most creative.
4. Finally, there was confirming support from his wives, despite their natural ties to their father. Here is the place where families are fractured. A man is called to go overseas and just feels like he can mandate that to his family. He doesn’t give them time to pray and seek God. He doesn’t pray with them and ask God to also give them the same desire. He forces the move prematurely. God Spirit wants to move over families, not just fathers or mothers.

         I have found all these steps to be true. I don’t know why God doesn’t make it easier. It appeared to be easier, at first glance, for the patriarchs. God spoke audibly and told them exactly what to do. Ah, but they didn’t have the Spirit of God inside, nudging, whispering, compelling, and emotionally reacting. For every one of you today who is making a life changing decision, this comes with a prayer.

Lord, confirm Your Word to your servant. Don’t let them walk into trouble. I bind their mind to You and I loose their mind from self-made plans and deception. Stir up holy desire. Shut the mouth of their enemy who would skew the signs. Let Your Word live and speak. Let confirmations come, even today, with nothing to deter them. In Jesus name, Amen