DREAD OR ELATION?

 And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt.   Genesis 45:3-4

               The difference between Joseph appearing to his brothers and Jesus appearing in the clouds to take us home is that we know He’s coming. The brothers did not expect to see Joseph and they were shocked at his disclosure. Dismay and dread were their instant reactions.

Dismay and dread will also characterize the reactions of many in God’s family. It’s tragic to me that such a wondrous event will be clouded by lack of enthusiasm. Jesus told us that He’s coming. He told us that the timing will be a surprise. He told us to prepare in every way to see Him. Joy is meant to be the prevailing emotion at His arrival, not sorrow.

There are three categories of people within the family of God who react differently at the thought of seeing Jesus.

1. Some dread seeing Him because they are not ready. Their flesh rules their lives and they forget that their old man has been crucified with Christ. While living by the Spirit is made possible for every child of God, it requires daily investment. Not wanting to engage in the effort, they indulge in pleasures that eventually eclipse the beauty of Jesus entirely. They are not ready to see Him. They are not looking for Him. They are hoping that His coming isn’t imminent on God’s timetable.
2. Some dread seeing Him though they need not to. They came to the cross long enough to get saved but not long enough to get loved. Still caught up in legalism, they believe that they must work tirelessly to keep God happy. They do not know how much they are cherished. They do not understand grace. The thought of seeing Jesus makes them feel like taking cover. However, Jesus cannot wait to see them and His heart longs for their company.
3. There are those who live looking up. Jesus is their treasure and their heart is saturated with thoughts of Him. They took Jesus at His Word to keep the lamp lit – anticipating when He would appear as a Bridegroom coming to claim His bride. They dressed and waiting. Any other lover pales in comparison and they live on every Word of their coming bridegroom, by faith.

Joseph’s brothers had no way to prepare for the reunion with the brother they betrayed. They would need to see Joseph extend His arms to them in mercy to know where they stood. But you and I can prepare for the coming of Jesus. We can know where we stand with Him by a review of the cross and an honest reflection on our level of discipleship

Help me admit, and then probe, every trace of shyness in my spirit. Amen

SHOULD I BE OPEN OR PLAY IT SAFE?

Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, “Make everyone go out from me.” So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. Genesis 45:1-2

         Joseph tested his brothers severely. It might have appeared that he had no mercy when he kept Simeon, imprisoned him, and gave the remaining brothers the stiff terms of his release. Joseph’s heart was unreadable, safely concealed, until such time as the nature of their hearts would be revealed. Once they showed the agony of true remorse, his heart would be on full display. He would weep so loud that the sound of it would penetrate the grounds of his vast residence.

         What is my response to a sincere apology? If I’ve been in a relationship that turned treacherous, one that required that I prudently step back for time, it might appear to the other person that my heart is cold. But, in fact, I am praying for us both. I’m praying that their hardened heart will eventually soften because of the conviction of the Spirit, and I’m also praying that mine will not become hardened because of unforgiveness. The only reason Joseph could handle his brothers with such wisdom is because he had many thousands of hours alone with God. He, a Hebrew, lived as an outsider in Egyptian territory. Loneliness was God’s gift and the perfect training ground for impartial leadership.

         Who has offered, what appears to be, a sincere apology? If God speaks to me and tells me that true remorse is present, what will my heart do? Will I keep it imprisoned in my tower of self-protection? Or, like Joseph, will I be willing to pour out the tears that have been hidden? Letting another see my heart is only possible when pride is put aside. How many times have I said, “I’ll never let them see my cry!”

         Joseph offers me wise counsel in matters of the heart. He, like Jesus, has vast emotional capacities. He had many faces as he related to others. There were moments when he would have been called stoic but underneath was a current of tears that gave away the heart of a broken man.

         There’s a time and a season for everything. There’s a time to conceal and a time to reveal. I have to be careful that I don’t live a life of concealment; ever protecting a heart that has been hurt one too many times. I also have to be careful that I don’t live a life of complete openness; allowing anyone and everyone access to my thoughts and emotions. Real maturity is knowing what Jesus would do in the midst of complicated and ever shifting relationships.

Without instruction of whispers from You, I’m chaff in the wind and continual prey. Amen

FEELING BADLY ABOUT MYSELF

We said to my lord, ‘The boy cannot leave his father, for if he should leave his father, his father would die.’ Then you said to your servants, ‘Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you shall not see my face again.’ Genesis 44:22-23

         I want peace but I don’t naturally want it God’s way. I take shortcuts to protect my pride. I’m much like Joseph’s brothers who will do anything Joseph asks except go get Benjamin. But, it must be Joseph’s way or no way. Joseph knows that by producing Benjamin, sins and emotions of their past deeds will be unearthed, the topics they’re trying to avoid with their bargaining.

Ever think God is unreasonable? God requires full and honest confession. And it’s steep. Like Joseph, He will not settle for a generalized admission. I want to say, “Yes, I’ve done some things I regret.”  God will never leave it at that. “Like what?” He’ll ask. Unless I open my heart to give a full disclosure, peace eludes me. My sins were specific. So must be my confession.

This happens in human relationships all the time. If a friend tells me that I offended her, I’m prone to want to declare that I’m just a bad friend. That’s lazy and inept. I need to hear the specifics of my injury against her and apologize with as much detail.

Pride is what created a breach between man and God in the Garden and pride is what keeps me from making peace with God. My sin offends Him and He calls it like it is. But if I own it, won’t I end up feeling badly about myself? What will it do to my ego to call myself a sinner? So, I avoid it and make a plan to come to God on my own terms. I set out to prove that I’m good by doing good things. Eternity is at stake while I play with His terms.

God’s pathway to peace is through the cross. The way is steep – as evidenced by the fact that it cost Jesus His life. Today, He may be asking something steep of me. I’m encouraged to face something in the past, own it, ask for forgiveness, and make some kind of restitution. Prideful excuses abound in my heart. But shouldn’t the One I’ve offended be the One who decides what it will require to make peace? I can trust God with this weighty decision. The terms are based on holiness and empowered by perfect love.

When I come on Your terms, it’s for my good. Amen

WHEN A CHILD BECOMES A PARENT’S FRIEND

And we said to my lord, ‘We have a father, an old man, and a young brother, the child of his old age. His brother is dead, and he alone is left of his mother’s children, and his father loves him.’ Genesis 44:20

         Oh, the painful journey that a child must travel to finally become his parent’s friend. For a child, youth is complicated. Their parents are god-like, by divine intention. It takes a good chunk of adulthood for that child to see a parent’s humanity, forgive the imperfections, and come back to embrace friendship.

         And oh, the painful journey that a parent must travel to finally become their child’s friend. Without a willingness to adapt from a parent to a peer, true friendship will be impossible. Parents will always see their child as a child, even in their 60’s and 70’s. What is needed for a parent to see their child as a mature adult? Humility. Parents can learn a lot from grown children if we’re willing to be taught by them.

         Look how long it took for Judah to talk respectfully of his father and his father’s affections. Nearly two decades. When he was a young man, he despised his father, and Joseph, for the love they shared. The scripture today is a tender display of admiration, respect, and acceptance of who his father is and whom he loves.

         Jaime, my daughter, and I work together in this ministry. She is in her mid-thirties and our relationship has evolved over the years. Mother/daughter relationships are wonderful and also complicated. We will be the first to admit that. But it can become a work of glory when both are committed to grow amidst the challenges of getting older together. When people learn that we work together, most will show a measure of surprise. “Really? And you get along?” We laugh but we understand. We think of all the family businesses that operate in an environment of family strife.

         Just this week, Jaime made an observation about my pace of life and my health. Instead of objecting and continuing to go about my day, I listened. God confirmed to me that very day that she was right. Yesterday, I called to thank her for it. I affirmed, again, her as my friend. How precious it is to walk together with God!

         What is the secret of true fellowship in a relationship, whether friend or familial?  Both have to love God first. Seek God first. Then ask God for His eyes for the other person. Discoveries will be wonderful and, at times, painful. But with God’s eyes, grace will prevail. Under God’s wings, relationships thrive.

Looking back, Your work of grace is a masterpiece and all glory goes to You. Amen

GO AHEAD. SPEAK IT!

Then Judah went up to him and said, “Oh, my lord, please let your servant speak a word in my lord’s ears, and let not your anger burn against your servant, for you are like Pharaoh himself. Genesis 44:18

         The brothers are cornered. Joseph planted treasure in Benjamin’s sack, knowing that upon discovery, he would have legal right to claim Benjamin as his servant. This would bring his brothers to the breaking point. They would either rend their clothes in guilt over their past sins or their hard hearts, even for Benjamin, would be revealed. The spiritual test was about to do its work and only God knew how it would work out. When crushed, Judah repented for himself and his brothers. Still not knowing that Joseph was the brother they had betrayed, Judah confessed the guilt which had only compounded over the years.

         Oh, the power of confession. Not only am I to confess my sins to God but scripture commands me to confess my sins to a brother or sister in Christ too. This is so that I may know the release that comes from speaking of my own guilt. I can also ask for prayer and know the power of another’s intercession over me.

         This is hard for each of us. Having been given the choice of free will, I rarely tell my story to another. I will carry the guilt of what I did long ago for decades.I’ll rationalize that I’ve asked God to forgive me. And He has. But the weight of my story presses in on me in ways I can’t even measure. Not until I tell it, speak it, and feel the release, can I understand how much of a burden I have carried.

         Speaking my story to just one safe person, one who has the heart of Jesus for me, adds years to my life. Until I tell it, it isn’t real to me and it has little clarity. The narrative is trapped in my own head and swirls around like a pool of sludge. Forcing myself to speak of the unspeakable gives it form. As I pour out the contents of my heart, I am lighter. As love and reminders of God’s forgiveness are returned from the one who is listening, I am free.

         The bonus of confession is the gift that comes with self-disclosure. I think of the things I’ve said after talking of something private. “I never knew I felt this strongly about that.” “I’m surprised about how much I’m crying about this.” “Things make sense for the first time!”

         I can only imagine the relief Judah felt when He told Joseph the story of his past sins. Even if he had to pay with his own life, it felt worth it. Burdens of the heart crush us and it need not be so.

For the one who is crying reading this, the one who cannot take another day living in silence, give them the grace to tell their story. And show them who should be the ears of Joseph. Amen

THE PERFECT STORM

Then he commanded the steward of his house, “Fill the men’s sacks with food, as much as they can carry, and put each man’s money in the mouth of his sack, and put my cup, the silver cup, in the mouth of the sack of the youngest, with his money for the grain.” And he did as Joseph told him. Genesis 44:1-2

         Just about the time the brothers believed that all was well, the fires of testing rose to a new peak. They had dined at Joseph’s table. (Though they did not yet know it was Joseph.) The meal had been sumptuous. They had begun to feel the hand of blessing and the knot of guilt that they had carried in their gut began to recede. But God, through Joseph, was not going to leave any past issues unresolved. There was a history of unspoken evil that needed exposure. For the brothers to be free of their past sins and to know the mercy that forgiveness brings, they must suffer again.

         Joseph set them up to fail. He had his servant place the royal silver cup in Benjamin’s sack. Joseph could foresee the moment when it would be discovered and the brothers would understand that their youngest brother, the other favorite son of their old father, would be imprisoned for stealing. The Father’s second beloved son would never return home. This time, it was not their fault. But to their father, it would feel identical to what happened so long ago.

         Joseph represents a beautiful picture of how God brings a sinner home. God knows how to refine me. What I think I can hide away can so easily be revealed when He shapes the circumstances in my life. He concocts the perfect storm, for my good, in order for bring about a cleansing. Though it is ultimately a life-saving wound, it will feel like my demise. God will not appear kind, but cruel. I might be so angry that I vow never to draw close to Him again. I will not understand at first that this is the path to my blessing, not a curse-filled future. Continue reading “The Perfect Storm” →

ARE YOU SPIRITUALLY INTUITIVE?

And they sat before him, the firstborn according to his birthright and the youngest according to his youth. And the men looked at one another in amazement. Genesis 43:33

         God’s child is meant to be spiritually intuitive. Though God is a communicator, much of the time He is subtle. If I’m dull instead of intuitive, I will miss the signposts that are significant to my journey.

         Joseph prepared a feast for his brothers. When they arrived, they were seated in order of their birth. Who was the first to notice? We’re not told. But eventually, all of them were stunned and speechless. They couldn’t imagine what was going on but they knew that the moment was pregnant with implications.

         What creates a pregnant moment conceived by God? Prayer. I see the need for change. I commit myself to pray over a long period of time. It will appear that God is inactive but I keep my eyes on the horizon. By faith, I know that my prayers are being heard. By faith, I know that God answers the prayers of His children. Though I will walk through the wilderness of waiting, there will come a moment that will cause me to draw in my breath. Everything will feel like it’s shifting. Fragile. Tenuous. I dare not mess it up. If ever there is a time for me to stay quiet and watchful, it will be this moment. Continue reading “Are You Spiritually Intuitive?” →