“I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE WITH HIM”
When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the evil that we did to him.” Genesis 50:15
Is there someone’s whose anger you dread? In a group, you’re fine. There’s a pretension of peace. Everything seems okay. However, the thought of being alone sends chills to your bones.
This is the dread the brothers feel once their father is dead. A parent often keeps the lid on family tensions when they are alive and Joseph’s brothers feared that Joseph withheld revenge for the sake of his aged father. With him gone, his true feelings would emerge and making them suffer would be at the top of his agenda.
It grieved Joseph that they mistrusted his forgiveness. It grieves Jesus even more so when I mistrust His forgiveness. The joy of seeing Jesus in heaven can be ruined by my fear of being alone with Him in the same room. With no one else around, what will He really do to me? He said He forgave my sins but isn’t that wishful thinking? Certainly something I’ve done will bring the gavel of judgment down on my head.
Real forgiveness is always rare. And to further feed my nervous heart, I’ve experienced those who said they forgave but really didn’t. In some subtle way, they kept reminding me of what I did. Is this not the battle for faith? I must separate people from who Jesus is. So here is what He promises ~
When I confessed my sins and asked for forgiveness in order to become His disciple, He forgave everything I ever did, am doing, or will do. To ‘forgive’ doesn’t mean to turn a blind eye. It means to remove my sin from me and send it away. When God looks at me today, He sees no sin. The great exchange happened on Calvary. I gave Jesus my sins and He gave me His holiness.
Joseph’s brothers learned to relax. The radical forgiveness he extended to them painted a beautiful picture of how God forgives. And today, there is absolutely no reason I should dread eye contact with a holy God.
Being alone with You will be a dream come true. In Jesus name, Amen