Behold, I long for your precepts; in your righteousness give me life!  Psalm 119:40

What creates longing?  There is a void and I experience it in three ways.

  1. I once had something of great value but it was taken away from me.  I long to have it back.
  2. I’ve never had it and I know it is critical for my existence.  I’ve spent a lifetime longing for it.
  3. I only have a little bit of it, it’s precious to me, and I long for more.

For the first forty years of my life, I didn’t long for God’s precepts.  In all honesty, I couldn’t relate to David’s words at all.  Longing was absent.  Mild interest in God’s precepts was more my reality.  Now, I experience great longing – a longing marked by hunger and preoccupation.  What changed?   One thing.  It was ‘need’.

I became aware of the many voids in my heart and began to understand that God’s Words were the only thing that would fill them.   As dull ache grew to a throbbing pain, longing increased.  Jesus was everything I had been looking for.  He was healer, deliverer, advocate, comforter, guide, and even the home my heart had been seeking.

When I was very young, I was deprived of something every child needs.  The refusal was staggering and to cope with it, I constructed my life in such a way as to deny I ever really needed what was denied me.  I closed the door to the possibility of ever getting it.  In my forties, I assessed the damage and realized I was shut down.  I was numb to spiritual things, feeling nothing for even God.  Only as I opened the door to the pain of that memory was God able to show me that He was everything I needed ~ then, and now.

Take this experience, multiply it many hundreds of times, and you end up with a woman who is passionate about Jesus.  I have tasted His love in the many voids of my life and I give Him rave reviews.  I have come to Him thirsty and am now swimming in living water.  I have come to Him with a parched, cracked internal landscape and now live in a lush vista of the greenest of springtimes.  I know His precepts and I declare that they are life-saving, life-giving.  My heart is filled with longing for more.  The best news is this ~ there is more.  Much more.  When longing comes to the table, there is a feast waiting.

My heart extends out to You like a young lover who looks on the horizon for the arrival of her soul mate.  It longs for everything You are.  Amen

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