The Anniversary Of A Suicide

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.  John 1:5

Our enemy knows that God is Light.  He was once an archangel in heaven and saw the brilliance of the glory of the Godhead.  For much of eternity, he trembled and led the angels in worship.  Was God’s light so bright that he often had to look away?  We don’t know but one thing is for sure ~ he bowed in worship and led others to do the same before his appetite for power and autonomy corrupted him.  

Since Satan has seen God’s brilliance, and since he knows that Light overcomes darkness, why does he wage all-out war to wear out the saints?   And he shall speak great words against the most High and shall wear out the saints of the most High.  Daniel 7:25

Doesn’t he know that God’s children will tap into the ‘surpassing power of God’s greatness to all who believe?” (Ephesians 1:19) 

Doesn’t he know that we are well aware that victory over him was declared at Calvary?  (Hebrews 12:14)

Doesn’t he know that we have read the scriptures and we celebrate that he was paraded in defeat and humiliation before the whole spirit world?  (Colossians 2:15) 

Doesn’t he know that we take notice of the gift of God’s armor and put it on?  (Ephesians 6) 

Isn’t he aware that Paul calls it the ‘armor of Light’?  (Romans 13:12) 

Hasn’t he learned that we are aware of both our powerlessness in the flesh and our invincibility in the power of the name of Jesus?

Yes, he knows!  But he counts on the fact that, in times of distress, we will not stop to take stock of what is true about God, about His provisions and His promises.  Today is a day for our family to lean into God’s grace, asking Him for the courage to continue to trust His providence and promises. This is the second year anniversary of our son’s suicide. At 3:00 a.m. on this day two years ago, we answered a knock at the door that brought traumatic news the likes of which we’d never experienced. Ron heard the news first, then came and sat on the couch with me. He said, “This is the worst night of our lives.” And it was.

The feelings were both numbing and overwhelming. And on days like today, Satan counts on us caving into our overwhelming feelings.  He knows how hard it is to exercise faith in the throes of pain and distress.  He knows that our instinctive reactions to the memories of traumatic events involve emotions first, then thoughts.  He knows that by wearying us with battle after battle, we just might succumb to disillusionment and distrust of our Father.  What is the alternative?  

Oh, we can choose to believe that hardship is an opportunity to flex new faith muscles.  We can know that it’s possible to sing through our tears.  When drowning under the sea of trouble, we can rely on the surpassing power of God’s greatness.  We can don our armor and put-on Christ.  We can take the Light of the world into our fears, into the darkness of unbelief, into the chasm of sleeplessness, and into the worst of our ‘what ifs’ to discover that a foundation in Christ is solid as a Rock.  In the darkest moments of today, there is still light. Our son is worshipping at the feet of Jesus.

The world shakes but You, Lord, are unshakeable.  Amen

Consider The Worst Part

Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness and who seek the LORD: Look to the rock from which you were cut and to the quarry from which you were hewn.  Isaiah 51:1

When Jesus talked with the woman at the well in Samaria, He took intentional steps to prepare her to receive Truth.  They began by talking of the mundane; water, thirst, and drinking.  He made a segueway to its spiritual counterpart; spiritual water, spiritual thirst, and the possibility of a drink that would forever quench thirst.  Jesus conversed about all of this because it needed to precede the revelation of Himself.  Thirst needed to overtake her and wake up her heart ~ for she had stopped dreaming of a Savior long ago.

She came alive as Jesus talked. She rose to engage Him in animated conversation.  Thirsty, she finally voiced a desire to what He was offering.  “Give me this drink,” she said.  But Jesus didn’t answer…. “I’m speaking of myself and this is how you drink of me.”  He immediately brought up the subject of her husband which unearthed the most painful of any possible admissions she might have to make.  She had been married five times and lived with a sixth man.  I often wondered why Jesus’ strategy was to change the subject. Perhaps it was to put His finger on the most painful place in her life.  By doing so, the message was this ~ If you want the most profound encounter possible with Me, you must drink of Me where you need Me the most.  Because she didn’t shy away, she received new life.

What is the worst part of your story? Have you dared unearth the need associated with the memory?  Where does it feel risky to trust God?  What would Jesus say if He sat on the edge of the well with you.  “I saw you at twenty four when you wanted to give up.”  Or, “When you were little, scared and hiding, thinking no one cared, did you know that I was there?”  In these crises of faith, in the darkest places of unbelief, Jesus calls us to a new awareness that there is such a thing as Living Water.  If we drink of Him, we will never need look again to fickle sources to give us what we think we need to feel whole.  We will find Him to be enough.

The Christian life begins when I learn the truth about God, when I learn the truth about myself, and apply the truth about God to the truth about me.  The Gospel is life changing only when it starts with great spiritual need.

Lord, I want to know the hope to which You have called me and Your incomparably great power for me if Ibelieve in You.  Amen

What’s The Difference?

And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not. Malachi 3:18

God tells His people that when they are in heaven, they will ‘again’ see the distinction between righteous and the wicked. “Far be it from me”, God says way back in Genesis, “that I should treat the righteous and unrighteous alike.” We expect to see such distinctions when God judges the peoples of the earth and separates believers from unbelievers. But, can we tell a difference today?

After all, everyone lives with the effects of the fall. We suffer unjustly at the hands of ungodly men and women. We are all vulnerable to COVID. The many hurricanes which have plagued our southern states have devastated Christians and non-Christians alike. Yet, God says that we can tell the difference how we handle adversity.

  • A child of God experiences peace in dark times. The unbeliever flounders without a compass.
  • A child of God exerts his authority over the dark forces at work. The unbeliever is captive to them.
  • A child of God is able to hear the voice of His Father, the voice that comforts him. The unbeliever is desperate for consolation.
  • A child of God has his eyes set on home. The unbeliever lives with a nagging fear of death.
  • A child of God knows the power of prayer to affect his life. The unbeliever is limited by his own problem solving skills.
  • A child of God looks for the supernatural redemption of his pain. The unbeliever finds pain senseless.

Which one are you? Oh, if you don’t yet know the a luxury of being a child of God, I pray that, even now, God is setting your heart, mind, and will free to hear the Spirit of God calling you to faith so that you, too, may find your home in Christ.

Thank You for taking up residence in me. There begins the distinction. Oh, how great is Your love. Amen

You’re Not The Only One Who Cares

Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes. Nehemiah 4:14

I was thinking this morning about Lot’s family in the book of Genesis. They didn’t appear to have a deep and abiding relationship with God.  Yet, when it was time for God’s judgment to come upon Sodom, the angels asked Lot to gather all members of his family for salvation.  God is invested in families because of the faith of one of its member.  If you’re the only one who feels heavy hearted over the spiritual condition of your loved ones, you’re not the only one who cares.  God does.  Why?

  1. He loves you.  He cares about who you love.  He sees every tear you have cried over a son or daughter.  He feels the stress you feel over the fractures in your marriage.  When your heart aches, His heart aches.   Do you feel alone when you bear the burden of carrying your family to God in prayer?  You are not shouldering this by yourself.  Jesus rose again and lives to intercede for every person you love. Perhaps you often despair and think you are the only one praying for them.  You are not doing this by yourself. Jesus is praying!
  2. God made families and He is invested in what He creates.  Families didn’t come out of nowhere.  God made Adam, then Eve, and invented the marital relationship.  Children were born because God made a way for family life to continue throughout time.  The first outcry that reached heaven’s ears came when the first two brothers fought and one killed the other.  So broken was the heart of God!

Every single one of us thinks about eternity but for anyone who has unbelieving family members, it is a bittersweet experience.  There is a piercing thought about those who might not be there.  God knows.  Just as He told Lot to go gather each member of his family, giving them the opportunity to hear of impending doom and to make the choice to leave Sodom, He will hear our prayers about those we love.  He is giving each one (though we may not know about it) many opportunities to be aware of Him and His Son, Jesus.  Every seed we have planted is not dormant.  It is active and working – stirred by the Spirit in their consciences and in their memories.

You invite me to bring my burdens to You and leave them.  Jesus, I will bring each person in my family, place them in Your lap, and pray while You work!  Thank you.  Amen

You Are Now Who You Are In Heaven

So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe, the robe of many colors that he wore. Genesis 37:23

Joseph was stripped of his robe of honor. Jesus was stripped of his robe, too. The momentary humiliation didn’t change the destiny or the spiritual identity of either. Jesus stayed in touch with His divine favor but I suspect that Joseph did not. History would prove that the brother’s destruction of the robe of many colors impacted him greatly but, ultimately, it did nothing to stop Joseph’s ascension to a royal position in Egypt.  Their sin against him only propelled him to an exile that led to glory.

Jesus was God’s Son whether anyone acknowledged it or not. If the accusation flew that he was only the illegitimate son of Mary, Jesus was still God. When the crowd publicly humiliated him by accusing him of demonic possession, Jesus was still God. When His family eventually turned on Him and believed Him to be mentally unstable, Jesus was still God. When He hung on a Roman cross and died the most degrading death in the Roman culture, His spiritual status did not change. Jesus was still God.

If ever there were a time I needed to settle my spiritual identity, it’s now. This world is  growing more and more unfriendly to the name of Jesus Christ and anyone who is associated with Him will experience discrimination. If a barb from a parent can lay me low for four decades, how will I survive if a community ostracizes me? I will remember that I’m a much loved, cherished child of God.  If unfair criticism from a local spiritual leader sends me into hiding, how will I sustain the intentional diatribe of non-Christians who are salivating to misjudge?  I will remember that I’m a much loved, cherished child of God.

No ill treatment in this world can change my status in heaven nor will it change my status on earth as far as how God sees me.  His opinion and conferred status is eternal and the only honor that matters.  It trumps all dis-honor.  The degradation of others should be discounted; it will pass away.  While earth bestows the basest kind of shame, God bestows the heavenliest kind of honor.

The only way to stay in touch with these beautiful realities is to read a Word that is eternal, not temporary. Whatever it says, I can stake on it being true forever and ever. Today, I may be Joseph in a pit. Tomorrow, I will be reigning with Christ.

Every time Jesus was crushed, He looked up until He felt Your favor. I lock my eyes on You today. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Knowing My Perfect Storm

And after a time his master’s wife cast her eyes on Joseph and said, “Lie with me.” But he refused. Genesis 39:7-8

God has Satan on a leash. He can’t do more than God allows. Temptations test my faith. I’m required to dig deeply and use spiritual faith muscles that need strength training. Satan never tempts me just once, either. When I take hold of God’s grace and flee one kind of temptation, Satan will come back with yet another variety. He is relentless and doesn’t play fair. He is intent on concocting the perfect storm so that I will have no willpower. He’s after my kryptonite.

Satan tried to use pain to drive a wedge between Joseph and his God. It didn’t work. (But it does with most people and it certainly did with me. A low threshold of pain causes strong Christians to fall into disbelief.) Yet, Joseph stood strong. He stayed tender, teachable, and resolute in his faith.

When the catalyst of pain failed, he turned to pleasure. Day after day, Potiphar’s wife wooed Joseph. She was probably beautiful and Joseph was, most likely, lonely. That he didn’t give in to her was nothing short of miraculous.

Satan is intuitive. He is also strategic, cunning and patient. He spies, watching my life to assess where I am vulnerable. He knows my story and knows my wounding patterns. I can’t afford for him to know more about my weaknesses than I do. Perhaps this is why David was so intent on asking God to search his heart. Knowing himself as God did was critical to his spiritual victory.

Under what circumstances would you fall? Do you know? What are your unique longings, and if someone or something could fulfill them right now, would you be tempted? It’s not a mistake that Paul defines sin as trading the glory of Christ for something else. For Joseph, it could have been a forbidden affair with Potiphar’s wife. What trinket holds allure for you over the value of treasuring Christ?

Don’t let me run from the truth about myself. Show me who I am through Your eyes. Deliver me from any evil that is being customized for my defeat. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Would I Dare Say This?

When the chief baker saw that the interpretation was favorable, he said to Joseph, “I also had a dream: there were three cake baskets on my head, and in the uppermost basket there were all sorts of baked food for Pharaoh, but the birds were eating it out of the basket on my head.” And Joseph answered and said, “This is its interpretation: the three baskets are three days. In three days Pharaoh will lift up your head—from you!—and hang you on a tree.” Genesis 40:16-19

I am one from whom others often seek advice. Questions like, “Why am I like this?” “What do you think the problem is?” “Why am I stuck and not progressing?” “Have I done something wrong?” “Is God punishing me?” I love to take someone’s life puzzle and make divine sense of the pieces.

But having said that, the hardest thing for anyone with a gift of mercy is to give bad news. If a mercy gift is accompanied by a prophetic gift, obedience becomes difficult. God gives insight that can be difficult to speak. Mercy wants to minimize the damage and cushion the blow.

Joseph’s obedience was put to the test so many times on his rise to blessing. Two cellmates, both former servants to the royal court, share two different dreams. Joseph happily told the first that he would be blessed and reinstated to his former position. Upon that good news, the other man shared his dream. Joseph was instantly in a dilemma. There was no good news about the 2nd dream. He would not be restored to honor; he would be hung. At that point, Joseph could have claimed ignorance but he didn’t fail to give the fateful interpretation.

Can God count on me to speak the truth when truth is unwelcome? Can He depend on me to paint an accurate picture of what’s ahead for a person, or an organization, if being honest threatens relationships? I will admit that this is a struggle for me. I’d rather stay silent and pray than speak up to inflict life-saving wounds. I’m faced with a number of these dilemmas right now. It seems that no matter where I turn in ministry at the moment, I need an infusion of holy boldness.

For any like me, know that I am praying for you.

Make me Your prophet. Trembling but obedient. In Jesus’ name, Amen

She Wasn’t Even Afraid

By faith, after Moses was born, he was hidden by his parents for three months, because they saw that the child was beautiful, and they didn’t fear the king’s edict. Hebrews 11:23

Fear is Satan’s biggest tactic to destroy the children of God.  Since we were never created to encounter evil nor to be able to fully understand the depths of depravity, evil scares us.  We can’t figure out the maze and the minefields of it.  “Don’t be afraid” is a frequent message from God throughout the old testament. In the Gospels, Jesus continued to encourage faith and told many people, on many occasions, not to fear.  I think I’m finally getting the message that I should be able to encounter evil and not be moved with terror.

This short verse about baby Moses and his parents is one that has escaped me all the times I’ve read this chapter.  How did I miss something so shocking!  Pharaoh decreed that all baby boys should be drowned.  Yocheved, Moses mother, hid him for a while after he was born.  When he was too big to conceal any longer, she conceived a plan that would culminate in him being raised in the palace.  The astounding thing is that his mother, though pregnant with a son, did not fear the king’s edict.  I can understand now why she would be mentioned for her faith.

Threats by someone powerful can be crippling.  Those with the muscles to exert force over others, including politicians and governments, can send the powerless into a perpetual state of fear and dread.  Yocheved, a Hebrew, a woman, in an Egyptian culture could teach us a lot about an unshakeable trust in God.  Was her lack of fear a form of denial?  No. She made plans to hide her baby. Was her lack of fear due to the fact that  Pharaoh’s power had been over-exaggerated?  No. He had the midwives murder thousands upon thousands of infants.  Her lack of fear was due to the fact that she saw this pivotal moment in history, saw the beauty of her son, and perceived the possibility of him winning the heart of some Egyptian mother.  I also believe she knew the risks and trusted God with the outcome.

The powerful still make threats ~ inspired by their father, their devil.  We never know which ones are empty threats either.  But trust in God’s sovereignty, a firm knowing that no one can erase my destiny and cut my life short because my Father oversees my comings and goings, means that I can rest.  Some people are bolder than others.  I’ve always been prone to fear and worry but there will always be something that makes even the robust shake and tremble.  At that point, whether we have faith in God will be our lifeline!  Our ability to trust Him will have been determined by how much I fed my faith; how much, or how little, I invested in our relationship.  The time to prepare for the dark is when I’m in the light.  You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.  I Corinthians 5:5

I refuse to finish my life with fear winning.  Keep training me.  Amen

When Jesus Doesn’t Feel Like Enough

You let your mouth loose in evil And your tongue frames deceit. “You sit and speak against your brother; You slander your own mother’s son. “These things you have done and I kept silence.  Psalm 50:19-21

Nothing stirs up our flesh like family rivalry.  The personality and gifts of one child can be celebrated more than the uniqueness of another child.  Or, a mother favors one while the father favors another.  From birth, affections and privileges can be divided.  It would appear that harmony among children is often doomed from the start.

Siblings can spend their lives at odds.  The tension is never resolved.  Family inheritances only add to further alienate relationships.  Even in old age, the stuff of youth is rehearsed.  A bystander in their thirties marvels that brothers and sisters in their seventies are still arguing.  Not until they get much older will they understand that childhood offenses seem like yesterday.   A brother or sister can be despised all the way to their deathbed because of something that was done or said during their teen years.  Because our past replays vividly on the jumbo screen of our heart, the wounds stay fresh.

Love, respect, favor, and wealth?  How can life-long prejudices dissolve?  Someone new must arrive on the scene to offer something that is greater in value than what we lost.  Someone has ~ and His name is Jesus.  Healing for severely fractured families is possible but only as they come together to love and worship Jesus.  As each one’s appetite is transformed by beholding the beauty and glory of Christ, the stuff that comprised their arguments seems miniscule.  Every family member comes to realize that what they had been fighting over is a trinket compared to the gifts Jesus freely offers.  And, He is no respecter of persons.

Perhaps I have a life-long angst regarding other members of my family.  All I have to do is think about that person and my insides are churning.  Being loved by Jesus and becoming emotionally engaged with my spiritual birthright melts away resentment.  What I seek, I already have in Christ.  It may be hope deferred but it is real and it is mine.  If it doesn’t seem like enough to my heart, I must ask God to open my heart to incomparable gift of Him!  Is He not powerful enough to transform my affections?

Open my spiritual eyes to see the value of You and everything You long to give.  Help me re-orient my soul so that my hands are clutching You instead of things that perish. In Jesus name, Amen

Journal Question:  What memory from childhood still haunts you?  What is so unfair that the hurt it generates eats away at your flesh like a cancer?  What are you trying to extract from another family member that you could abandon today for what Jesus offers?  Today can be the day you turn a page in your history.  How badly do you want freedom?

Save

My Worst Of The Worst

Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness and who seek the LORD: Look to the rock from which you were cut and to the quarry from which you were hewn.  Isaiah 51:1

When Jesus talked with the woman at the well in Samaria, He took intentional steps to prepare her to receive Truth.  They began by talking of the mundane; water, thirst, and drinking.  He made a segueway to its spiritual counterpart; spiritual water, spiritual thirst, and the possibility of a drink that would forever quench thirst.  Jesus conversed about all of this because it needed to precede the revelation of Himself.  Thirst needed to overtake her and wake up her heart ~ for she had stopped dreaming of a Savior long ago.

She came alive as Jesus talked. She rose to engage Him in animated conversation.  Thirsty, she finally voiced a desire to what He was offering.  “Give me this drink,” she said.  But Jesus didn’t answer this way…. “I’m speaking of myself and this is how you drink of me.”  Instead, He immediately brought up the subject of her husband which unearthed the most painful of any possible admissions she might have to make.  She had been married five times and lived with a sixth man.  I often wondered why Jesus’ strategy was to change the subject. Perhaps it was to put His finger on the most painful place in her life.  By doing so, the message was this ~ If you want the most profound encounter possible with Me, you must drink of Me where you need Me the most.  Because she didn’t shy away, she received new life.

What is the worst part of your story? Have you dared unearth the need associated with the memory?  Where does it feel risky to trust God?  What would Jesus say if He sat on the edge of the well with you.  “I saw you at twenty four when you wanted to give up.”  Or, “When you were little, scared and hiding, thinking no one cared, did you know that I was there?”  In these crises of faith, in the darkest places of unbelief, Jesus calls us to a new awareness that there is such a thing as Living Water.  If we drink of Him, we will never need look again to fickle sources to give us what we think we need to feel whole.  We will find Him to be enough.

The Christian life begins when I learn the truth about God, when I learn the truth about myself, and apply the truth about God to the truth about me.  The Gospel is life changing only when it starts with great spiritual need.

Lord, I want to know the hope to which You have called me and Your incomparably great power for me if I believe in You.  Amen