LIVING WITH DISGRACE

Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb. She conceived and bore a son and said, “God has taken away my reproach.” Genesis 30:22-23

         To be barren in Rachel’s culture was to live as one scorned. Barrenness was believed to be a curse and you were an embarrassment to your husband. This time of disgrace wasn’t a short season for Rachel. While she languished under her veil of shame, Leah, Jacob’s other wife, bore him six children. At one point Rachel turned to an aphrodisiac to boost fertility but that proved ineffective.

         Why do seasons of shame and disgrace often span a decade or two? They don’t usually last a year. God appears to be out of the picture completely –ignoring the oppressed. While none of us can know the full mind of God, the stories of those like Rachel, Sarah, Hannah, and Elizabeth give great clues as to God’s purposes. When a wilderness marks a large portion of someone’s life, is God in the process of redemption? The answer is always yes. Redemption of ‘what’ can only be discerned by the one oppressed.

         For Rachel, I believe it was for her to know that God was her miracle worker, her provider. Had she easily born Jacob children, she wouldn’t have given a second thought to things like faith and prayer. When she finally did give birth to Joseph, she credited the Lord, not the power of the mandrakes.

         I have known seasons of affliction. None of them were short. All taught me perseverance, the power of prayer, and the nature of the wilderness. While great spiritual things prevailed at the end, the beginnings and middle of these seasons were pretty ugly. I had no clue how to navigate the years.

         You may be living in an atmosphere of disgrace. Perhaps you are not the child your parents wanted and you are still shamed even though your parents are aged. Maybe you are the not the wife, or husband, your spouse really thinks you should be. Criticism is your daily companion. How do you survive the barrage of corrections and insults? God wants to change the heart of your scorner, and he does if they’re willing. Many, however, live and die without knowing how to love. Hear this! Your survival doesn’t depend on them. It depends on God at work in your own heart.

         Unless you cultivate a relationship with God that involves experience beyond Bible study, you will not be able to weather it well. You must know how to draw near to God in prayer, how to meditate to restore peace to your churning soul, and how to make Jesus your daily bread and living water. Living in the shelter of His wings so that His whispers are palpable is the only security against the barrage of comments coming from the other side of the room. God is your Lover and Sustainer.

I lift each person reading this up to You as a small child. Break through the fog of pain to bathe them in Your presence. Amen

Journal Question: The years can drag on and on when life is defined by disgrace. Can you entertain the thought that God wants to do something stunning in the midst of dark times? Tell him that you need His personal encouragement today. Be specific.

HOW DESPERATE AM I?

In the days of wheat harvest Reuben went and found mandrakes in the field and brought them to his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.” But she said to her, “Is it a small matter that you have taken away my husband? Would you take away my son’s mandrakes also?” Genesis 30:14

         Is there someone near you who has everything you want? You’ve kept your distance because being near them is painful. Now, in what seems like a cruel joke, they have been blessed yet again with something that would be lifesaving to you but it’s in their hands, not yours. You consider swallowing your pride to beg.

         This is the story of Leah and Rachel. Leah has borne Jacob many sons. Rachel has none and this is agonizing for her. To add fuel to the fire, Leah’s son comes in from the field with mandrakes – a plant believed to have properties that cure barrenness. Rachel is willing to do anything at this point to have children – even if it means asking Leah for her son’s mandrakes.

         When I believe that my fate lies outside of God’s providence, I will set out to turn things in my favor. I will even assume any false posture of friendship to win over my enemy, the one whom I believe is the key to moving forward. This is where manipulation is born. If I ask him outright for what he has, he’ll laugh in my face. If I pretend to be his friend and come bearing compliments, he may succumb to flattery.

         Are you in a desperate place today because someone who has little heart for you possesses the very thing you need? Battling envy is hard enough but to think that I must be clever enough deceive him seems like climbing Mt. Everest. If I’m Rachel, what do I do?

         It is not up to my ingenuity to secure my future. The timing of my blessing and the length of my wilderness are in God’s hands. He has not forgotten me. Blessing is mine though it may appear non-existent.   When another has what I think I need, I must remember that God has what I need. When He gives it, there will be true celebration of His glory. When I force someone else to give it by prying his hands open, the party is hollow.

Every single thing I need, You have. If I don’t have it yet, I must deal with my desperation in prayer. If I distrust You, help me and give me grace to stay true. Amen

Journal Question: What plot have you conceived to carry out today that will turn things in your favor? Do you love God enough to abandon it? Will you cast all your cares on God and wait for His answer?

I’M EXPECTED TO DO SOMETHING I CAN’T!

When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister. She said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I shall die!” Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel, and he said, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?” Genesis 30:1-2

         Jacob is in a tough spot. He has been tricked by Laban, the father of Rachel and Leah, his wives. The one he loves more is barren while the other has borne him three sons in order to win his favor. There is no part of this story that is working well for anyone. (Except for Laban who benefitted monetarily from Jacob’s work.)

         Rachel is pleading with him to do something about her barrenness. “Give me children, or I shall die!” Is there anything more tormenting than to be expected to provide something when you have no control over it? People look to others to give what is only supernaturally possible. The one who feels the pressure to play God is the one who can feel the most helpless.

         I’ve been put in the place of God more times than I can count. The one who demanded a solution was probably not aware that they were doing that. They were expressing their distress to someone who loved them but I carried their pain and wrung my hands over their plight.

         Are you between a rock and hard place today?For many years, I was unaware that I had the freedom to say ‘no’ to what was asked of me. As a performer, I agreed to do all that was expected. Most of it was asked with no regard of what was appropriate for the maturation level of a teenager or young adult. My self-talk sounded like this. “I have to do this ~ but I can’t! But I have to do this ~ but I can’t!” The torment escalated as performance time approached. When my name was announced, I flipped a switch, went out, and just did it. In my 30’s, I assessed the damage. If I had it to do over again, I would have revealed my limits.

         Are others looking to you to do what is humanly impossible? This is the perfect opportunity to make your relationship with them about prayer. There’s nothing more freeing than to say, “I can’t do what you’re asking but God can. Let’s stop and pray about it.” This does two things. 1.) It gives you a chance to say out loud that you’re human. And, 2.) It points them to the One who is the source. It trains them to look up and to pray for themselves. Your freedom from another’s demands requires your willingness to abdicate playing the part of God.

Praying with others, Lord, has given me my freedom but also the joy of bringing them to you for their miracle. And how You’ve loved them! Amen

Journal Question: Your freedom can begin today. What solution to someone’s problem are you feeling the pressure for? Make a plan to meet with them today, even by phone, to direct them to God. Write out your prayer ahead of time so you don’t lose your courage.

GOD EXALTS THE ONE OTHERS DESPISE

When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Genesis 29:31

         How Leah suffered when she was given to Jacob in marriage! She was allowed no vote in the decision. She was simply a pawn in her father’s greedy scheme. Yes, she got to become the wife to the husband her sister loved. That might seem like a victory but was it really? Think of the week of wedding feasts and festivities where everyone celebrated her marriage. Her husband was in mourning because he woke up to find her as his wife. To add to the agony, she will have to endure another week of wedding festivities when Jacob finally marries Rachel and truly rejoices. There will be no way to block out the sounds of this future celebration.

         “This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone.” Acts 4:11 God sees the ones others despise and he exalts them. The verse for today says that God ‘saw’ that Leah was hated. The word for ‘saw’ is the same word Scripture often uses before God intervenes for the oppressed. He ‘saw’ His people just before He liberated them from slavery. And how God blessed her. She gave birth to sons who would become the twelve tribes of Israel. And the most notable was Judah – whose greatest Son was Jesus Himself.

         Are you the least of your siblings? The least in the lineup of in-laws? The least remembered in your family’s inheritance?  Is there anyone who truly celebrates you? Or, do you feel tolerated, perhaps even invisible? Life can seem long and bitterness is always nipping at your heels. The idea that there could be joy is laughable ~ yet is that not the same ‘laugh’ that erupted out of Sarah after a lifetime of barrenness? God saw her, remembered her, and this divine affection made her heart burst for joy.

         God is the God of the underdog. If every Leah can live – learning to look up for her affection and blessing – she can know a joy that surpasses anything that people of this earth offer.

For every one who needs to know they are beautiful to You, show them today, Lord.

Journal Question: How does Leah’s story speak to your own story? Have you laid aside bitterness in exchange for the anticipation of God’s blessing? Will you open your heart to entertain the possibility that favor and joy can be yours?

WHEN I FEAR I’VE WASTED YEARS

And in the morning, behold, it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?” Laban said, “It is not so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. Genesis 29:25-26

         I don’t know if you have ever felt like Jacob or not. He fell in love with Rachel, asked her father Laban for her hand in marriage and was told that he could purchase her dowry for seven years of labor. There was no reason to doubt Laban’s word. He was family and seemed sincere.

         Jacob worked joyfully and anticipated the day he could marry Rachel. He expressed that the labor and effort he sustained for seven years were ‘as one day’ ~ so great was his love for his bride-to-be. Then the plot takes a sickening turn. Laban deceives Jacob. Underneath the wedding veil is not Rachel but her sister. He has been tricked and seven years of his life is gone. Is God the redeemer of lost years? That is the question.

         Have you ever signed up for something that would be of great cost to you – only to find out later that information was withheld? You might have made a different decision entirely. Some marry under false pretenses.Some make business decisions under a shroud of deception and lose everything. Some bare their soul to a confidant and later find out that the information has been used against them. These stories involve great losses, one of which is time.

         Jacob was forty when he went on his journey to meet Rachel. Hardly a young groom. To lose seven years must have seemed depressing but there is no indication that he plummets into despair. He loves Rachel enough to jump into another seven years of labor for the joy of finally having her as his wife.

         Hindsight into Jacob’s story offers us golden insight into the plans of God for people’s lives. His blessing on Jacob wasn’t thwarted in the least by Laban’s deception. When I’m the child of the great Redeemer, what seem to be lost years aren’t even a problem for God. When others sin against me and steal from me, it is spiritual futility to fall into bitterness. The energy and despair (and the strongholds that result) are really what’s wasted. Don’t I know the power of the One whose child I am? For three years, I despaired over 22 lost years, only to discover that they weren’t lost at all. They were teachers for the great redemption to come!

I’ve also learned that joy in You confounds and frustrates the one who sinned against me. Is there any greater victory and testimony? Amen

Journal Question: What losses are you counting today? Money, time, youth? Does it appear that your offender has won because of what was stolen? What does faith look like today? Would you stretch your spiritual eyesight to include a redemptive turn in your storyline?

THE FUEL LOVE PROVIDES

            So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her. Genesis 29:20

            This is one of the rare moments in the Bible where sentiments about romantic love are expressed. Does love at first sight exist? Yes. Is there such a thing as people just ‘clicking’ when they meet? I believe so. It happens in friendship. Why not romantic love!

            Jacob so loved Rachel that working for seven years to acquire her as his wife was hardly a sacrifice. If we were to ask Jacob about it in today’s vernacular, he might reply, “It was nothing!” And we know what he means. When I love to do something, the time that expires as I engage in the activity is irrelevant. Hours go by as if they were minutes. This is how I feel as I do many things; record in the studio, engage in the graphic design of new marketing materials, organize drawers and closets, even explore colors, textures, and fabrics.

            There are people that I love deeply and serving them also seems effortless. I wouldn’t think twice about sacrificing in some way for them. I love to see them happy no matter what it costs me.

            What is Jesus asking you to do today that seems steep? There is a cost. He said there would be. It is cross-shaped. Paul said that it was love that constrained him to endure hardship. It is lack of love that causes many to abandon their faith. When things get difficult, there is no relationship to sustain them. Knowledge of God without experience does not build emotional and physical endurance in Christian service.

            I’ve been engaged in something very difficult related to ministry. The cost has been steep but nothing compared to the ways other believers are suffering throughout the world. Nonetheless, I’ve been asking myself if Jesus is worth it. There is no question for me. I love Him and can’t keep quiet about the things He’s taught me. I love the truths, believe in them, and have learned them at such a high price. We’ve come too far together to stop now.

            There are days each of us lose perspective. They are related to the moments Jesus spent in the garden asking His Father if He might be spared the cross. But one day, no matter what we’ve suffered, I believe we will all say something similar. “I loved Him so it was easy to spend my life.”

Internal pep talks fizzle out quickly, Lord. It is Your voice and the memories of our time together that give me supernatural strength. Amen

Journal Question: Have you lost your way? Are others guilting you into more service? Seek God’s heart and get a fresh word. It is the only experience that revives the dead.

DOES LOVE AUTOMATICALLY RUN IN THE FAMILY?

As soon as Laban heard the news about Jacob, his sister’s son, he ran to meet him and embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his house. Jacob told Laban all these things, and Laban said to him, “Surely you are my bone and my flesh!” And he stayed with him a month. Genesis 29:13-14

         Jacob announced who he was to his uncle as Laban threw his arms around Jacob, confirmed that he was his own flesh and blood, and feigned a depth of affection that wouldn’t materialize when tested. Did Jacob let his guard down when he was embraced? Probably so. That’s what we tend to do when we are among family. It will turn out that Laban is generous with Jacob but only in a way that is self-serving.

         In this fallen world, love is just flawed. No one loves perfectly. Family relationships are messy and sinful human nature acts out constantly. What makes the road so treacherous is that love can exist one minute and disappear the next when it requires something in the relationship that is too steep. A generous person becomes stingy in a moment over the right issue.Unless you know them well, you might not know the limits of their fidelity and at what point they will serve themselves instead of you. Jacob will find out the hard way about the heart of Laban and suffer under his selfish scheming. But then again, hadn’t Jacob just done the same thing to his own family? He schemed to extort a blessing from his father. What he has sown, he will reap.

         How should I function in a normal family? I don’t want to live suspicious of everyone but I also don’t want to be naïve and trust indiscriminately. I will err on either side if I try to live by my own gut. Sometimes I’ll get it right but there will be just as many times I am taken in by another’s ability to deceive. “My brother, we’re family!” goes a long way to melt a misgiving that might be warranted.

         God promises wisdom to all who ask and who seek it like gold. God will guide me right as I navigate relationships with others who share my bloodline. I will get it wrong sometimes. That’s life. And when I do, I can’t get bogged down in the mire of resentment and revenge. I’ll grieve my losses, forgive, embrace the lessons I’ve learned about the hearts of people, and move on to love with my eyes wide open.

Continue to heal my fear of people. Amen

Journal Question: Do you need to make a course correction in your approach to family? Do you err toward caution instead of openness? Or trust instead of wisdom? Ask God for the wisdom to walk in balance.

EVIL AND THE GLORY OF GOD

For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”  So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.  Romans 9:17-18

         The Egyptians oppressed the people of God for 400 years.  Great evil was perpetrated upon them.  The Hebrew people were beaten, suffered injustice, and everything else that makes up the stuff of slavery.  Rage and hopelessness simmered beneath the surface of every soul.  They took on the mindset of a slave and just accepted whatever came their way.

         Can God be glorified when suffering exists?  Are those who perpetrate such evil subject to the sovereign hand of God?  The comforting answer to both questions is “Yes!”  Continue reading “Evil and The Glory Of God” →

PAIN IS NOT THE ENEMY 

Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep your word.  Psalm 119:67

            Afflictions come in many shapes and sizes.  The prodigal son’s pain brought him home to his father with humility.  Paul’s thorn in the flesh fostered humility and dependence on God.  Prodigal affliction brings God’s children home; sanctified affliction deepens the faith of the saints. Continue reading “PAIN IS NOT THE ENEMY” →

COINCIDENCE OR NOT?

Then Jacob went on his journey and came to the land of the people of the east. Genesis 29:1

         Jacob is about to meet the woman he will marry. And, it will happen at a well. So many significant spiritual moments happen at wells in the Bible. Divine appointments occur there. Treaties are made there. Revelations of God are discovered there. And it was there that Jesus disclosed His identity as the Messiah to a Samaritan woman.

         The people who came to a well never knew they were entering a divine moment. It seemed so normal to each of them. Scripture often says, “He happened upon a well…” yet God had woven circumstances together to make that moment pivotal to that person’s future.

         There are no coincidences in the life of God’s child. None. The steps of a righteous man and woman are ordered by the Lord. God describes His sovereignty in terms of steps, not miles. Every step is under His providence.

         I’m often asked a question that begins with, “Do you think it’s significant that…..?” My answer is always yes. Events are connected. A meeting with a stranger is loaded with implications because it was planned by God. When I chalk something up to coincidence and fail to prayerfully explore the meaning behind a seemingly common event, I am missing out.

         How many planes have I missed but later understood that I got to meet someone I wouldn’t have otherwise met. Or, I crossed paths with four people from Houston in the course of a week and then asked God if I was to be praying for a ministry opportunity in Houston. Some would say this is reading too much into everything but I’ve lived long enough to have disproved that. I’ve arrived at a life principle from my experiences with God. Without prayerful exploration of something that turns my head in wonderment, I miss kingdom .

         This is one of the reasons Jesus said to pray without ceasing. He also said that He did nothing without God’s nudging. That tells me that Jesus was talking about every single day’s event with His Father. He thought nothing was coincidence.

The day is in front of me. With You orchestrating my life, no day is without significance to my future. Amen

Journal Question: Would you be willing to pray for God to re-invent the opportunities you missed? Things you wrote off as insignificant?