FAVORITISM IS COMPLICATED

Joseph, being seventeen years old, was pasturing the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was the son of his old age. And he made him a robe of many colors. Genesis 37:2-3

         Favoritism can be complicated. Take Jacob and his son, Joseph. Jacob didn’t make Joseph his favorite to spite other righteous sons. Many of the others had proven themselves to be troublemakers, bound up in foolishness. They had spurned their father’s ways and had left a trail of disappointment and hurt. Jacob didn’t spoil Joseph either by giving him a life of ease. He trained him to work hard and to do so with godly ethics.

         I’m not defending the fact that Jacob showed favoritism. It wasn’t right. He acted unwisely and set things up for the other sons to hate their brother. From a sibling’s perspective, favoritism never works out well.

         But from a parent’s perspective, the heart is a complicated thing. Continue reading “Favoritism Is Complicated” →

HANDLING YEARS OF REGRET

And Jacob came to his father Isaac at Mamre. Now the days of Isaac were 180 years. And Isaac breathed his last, and he died and was gathered to his people, old and full of days. And his sons Esau and Jacob buried him. Genesis 35:27-29

         I’ve been doing some Old Testament math. It’s easy for there to be half a century between chapters. And, don’t we all know how long and momentous just one year can be? It’s important to comprehend how much time has gone by since Jacob has seen his father, Isaac. I believe it’s over 100 years. Isaac was 40 when he married Rebeccah, 70 when Jacob stole the blessing, and 180 when his father died. Since Jacob left just after stealing his brother’s birthright, that would make the absence many decades long. I wonder if Jacob ever thought he’d see his father again. Perhaps he reasoned that this was the bitter consequence of his sin.

         God, in His mercy, allowed Isaac to live just until Jacob returned to his homeland. Esau was there too. Both brothers, long estranged, were there to say goodbye to their father and, together, bury him.

         God is merciful. God is redemptive. But there are losses because of my sin. They become a permanent ‘thorn in the flesh’ as, like Jacob, it takes a long time to find my way home. There is a lot of wrestling with God along the way, striving to be blessed again. How do I handle the loss of years? How do I not ‘grieve without hope’ for the things I suffer today that were done out of sinful intent and/or blind ignorance?

         Grace. My need for God to carry me through seasons of regret will bind me to Him like nothing else. In giving grace, He establishes His identity as ‘the Gracious One.’   My pain is transformed from bitter to bittersweet because experiencing God is such a powerful thing. It brings joy in the midst of my losses. Given enough time, I even become grateful for the shipwreck because it brought me to my Safe Harbor.

The word ‘gracious’ is one of my favorite words because You have given it wings in my life. Thank you! Amen

COPING WITH CHANGE

Rachel went into labor, and she had hard labor. And when her labor was at its hardest, the midwife said to her, “Do not fear, for you have another son.” And as her soul was departing (for she was dying), she called his name Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin. Genesis 35:16-18

         Too many changes in one’s life, all at once, put a person in a fragile place emotionally. It seems too much to process. When I initiate the changes, it’s easier. But most change is what happens to me and I have no control over it. Good changes are challenging enough but bad changes, one after another, bring the onset of grief.

         How do you handle change? Do you have a strategy? It’s easy to conceive man-made ones. 1.) Cope with today and don’t borrow tomorrow’s trouble. 2.) Lean on family and friends.   This is usually the best that we can initiate without God. If things are really hard, these won’t sustain. Inner stability will deteriorate.

         Jacob’s life, a life much longer than ours, had drastic changes. He left home and never saw his parent’s again. He had his dreams smashed repeatedly when Rachel’s father tricked him into staying beyond seven years. He lost the relationship with his brother. His name was changed to Israel. He perception of his sons took a downward turn. He even saw his own heart change as God chiseled away self-will and pride. On this day, Rachel, the love of his life, dies. All this happens on the very arrival to Bethel, the place where they would have settled for the remainder of their lives.

         There is a certain kind of personality that thrives on change but I contend that it’s change they control. No one likes an unexpected knock on the door that brings tragic news. I’ve had my share of seasons where everyday brought some kind of bad news. Difficult times never seem to last a year. Instead, five years, twelve years, even twenty-two years. I’m very familiar with how that looks since severe depression runs in my extended family. I’ve seen some break with reality. Feeling that I could also follow my genetic leanings, I knew that I must draw close to Jesus and follow His lead in developing spiritual strategies.

         What did Jesus do when he felt the pressures of his life? Got alone with His Father to pray. He reviewed the scriptures and God’s history. This is the prescription for any of us today who know that the only stability available to us is the foundation of our faith in God.

• God knows all things future. He’s not wringing His hands over this change in my life. Acts 8:26
• God already knows the outcome and, if I’m willing, will lead me safely to the other side. Numbers 23:19
• God is unchanging. Though my life shifts, He is always the same. I cling to Him and not temporal things. James 1:17
• God is still a righteous Judge even when it appears evil is winning. Psalms 7:11-13
• God is faithful and true.   Deut. 32:4

“It is well for us that, amidst all the variableness of life, there is One whom change cannot affect; One whose heart can never alter, and on whose brow mutability can make no furrows.” Spurgeon

OBSESSED WITH MYSELF

Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble on me by making me stink to the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites and the Perizzites. Genesis 24:30

         What is my reaction when someone’s sin affects my wellbeing? Am I angry because I’ve been hurt or am I angry because the God I love has been wounded by their sin? Is their transgression a spiritual issue to me? Not if I’m obsessed with myself.

Children can be little more than a means for my own public acceptance. I dress them up cute, I teach them manners, I encourage them to do well in school, I help them recite Bible verses, and if I’m honest, it’s not as much for them as it is to make me look good as a parent. I use my children. And when they fail publicly, my first painful reaction is personal disgrace.  Jacob’s initial response is self-centered. He did not lament that his children had sinned against God. He said, “You have brought trouble on me!” This whole chapter is a deviation from God-centeredness. All the pronouns are “I” and “me.” God is hardly mentioned at all.

I’m reviewing some of the biggest hurts of my life. I forgave each person who offended me but how did I respond initially to the offense? Was I sad because that person sinned against God first? Was I concerned for their spiritual well-being?

When someone in our family makes us look bad, the last thing we should consider in the big scheme of things is our reputation. If we really love them, our obsession should be their relationship with God. How has their sin corrupted it? Will they get past the breach in their relationship with Him to resume their spiritual journey? Of all matters, this takes priority.

When my reputation is more important than the spiritual ramifications of another’s sin, I need to look in the mirror. My heart is also in a precarious place.

Show me how deeply You are hurt by the sin of Your children. Amen

I DON’T GET IT!

And all who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city. On the third day, when they were sore, two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and came against the city while it felt secure and killed all the males.   Genesis 34:24-25

I’d love your feedback. Tomorrow I’m going to post our collective responses to my question today. This is a first! I’ve been thinking about this story off and on all night so here’s my question being posed to you.

How can Simeon and Levi, two sons of Jacob with no history of violence, so easily go in and kill hundreds of men in a weakened condition? They broke their covenant vow with them, then murdered them in cold blood. Does the need for revenge – for raping their sister, Dinah – really fuel such a rage? I would think that any man or woman would have to work their way up to mass murder. They must have killed before on a smaller scale to do this so easily but I don’t see evidence of it.

As I write this, the city of Ferguson, Missouri is rioting. A community that has no history of violence is suddenly filling the streets. It is in response to the reported ‘cold blooded killing’ of a young black man. Is this similar?

I look forward to your insights! Where will you comment? Here on our comment page.  Or, on our facebook page. I will also pose the question there – and you can ask our Father about it. See what wisdom we hear, and then share.

www.facebook.com/daughtersofpromise

Lord, show us something about Simeon and Levi, something about human nature, something about ourselves, that we need to know. Amen

 

WHAT GOD CONSIDERS TREACHEROUS

And all who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city. Genesis 24:34

         Dinah has been raped by the son of the king of Shechem. Her brothers, the sons of Jacob, are bent on revenge. Their plan is to somehow compromise the physical strength of the viral men of Shechem so that they will have opportunity to do them harm without risking their own lives. The plot? To feign a treaty, to suggest that all the men of Shechem be circumcised, leading them to believe that both tribes will share the sacred rite of brotherhood. Commercially, both will benefit. Circumcision, the sign of the covenant between Jewish people and their God, was used as a weapon of treachery.

         To understand how serious this is, think of it this way. You invite a certain person to share communion with you on Sunday and after the service, you take advantage of his proximity to kill him. Shocking to think of it this way.

         There are lesser acts of treachery too; praying with someone to learn their secrets, buttering up the pastor for personal gain, marrying someone for money, and making a promise with your fingers crossed behind your back.

         Simeon and Levi were the two sons of Jacob that masterminded this scheme. Later, when Jacob gave his final blessing to his sons, each was given land as an inheritance. All except Simeon and Levi. Jacob could not forget what was in the heart of his sons. Rightly so – for these two brothers went on to plot unthinkable things against their own brother, Joseph. They seized him, considered murdering him, but instead, sold him into slavery. They dipped his clothes in the blood of an animal and proceeded to massacre the heart of their father by saying that a wild beast had killed him.

         When I perpetrate or even take part in deceitful acts, even small ones, they corrupt my heart. My response to wrongdoing is deadened. The next time around, it will be easier to sin. I will not be in touch with the regression either. Not until it’s too late.

         What is being done in the name of Jesus that God would consider treacherous? Where, in the name of God, am I manipulating others and justifying it?

Don’t let me read the stories in scripture, be shocked by their evil, and fail to see my own sin. Let the stories in Your Word be my teacher, Lord. Amen