Be gracious to me, O Lord! See my affliction from those who hate me, O you who lift me up from the gates of death, that I may recount all your praises. Psalm 9:13-14
Recount (tanah) ~ to commemorate, rehearse
It is lonely to walk in Your footprints, Jesus. In these days, not only am I despised by unbelievers but those who call themselves Your children. My pride is easily wounded and I forget that the friction I feel is a holy one. Why am I feeling shame? This is the cross I promised to carry when I became Your disciple.
It is not Your intent that I should be weighed down by other’s rejection. It is not Your desire that I be crippled by their criticism, though it is hard to hold my head up in the company of those who censure nearly everything I do. They take issue with most of my words.
I realize that this is not about me at all. It is about You and the way I will teach others how to thrive in Your love amidst condemnation. I will be energized to recount how You care for me; how You lift me up when I am cast down. You modeled this journey. You lived amongst enemies and forgave them even though they didn’t ask for it. You didn’t retreat and hide from their anger. You didn’t choose silence because You feared the repercussions of opening Your mouth. You spoke when it glorified Your Father and You withheld language when it glorified your Father. Shame and fear didn’t dictate Your strategy.
Let me learn what I need to learn in this school of contempt. Pride and ego are not mine to manage. You hold my heart in Your hands. I am secure in Your love and held high in Your esteem. For every note of sarcasm directed at me, You are rejoicing over me with singing. Your songs resurrect me from condemnation and I will rise to praise You. I will rehearse the promises You give me in the dark so that others may see Your light.
Through this crucible, You are fashioning me into a dazzling witness of grace. The more I am oppressed, the more I will discover that I am the apple of Your eye and the greater will be my testimony. I am tall and robust in Your light. In Jesus’ name, Amen