Orphan Profile #1
I LOOK INSIDE OTHER PEOPLE’S WINDOWS AND WISH MY LIFE WERE DIFFERENT
Unhappy with our lives, we will peek into the windows of other’s lives and wish we could be part of their family. We do it as children and unless we make our home Jesus, we will do it until we die. That hole of never belonging will drive us toward those who appear to have what we need.
Though the adults in my life as a child were wonderful people, they didn’t really engage children. I rarely remember anyone having a conversation with me. I was lonely and wondered what it would be like to feel valued. Did grownups really ask children why they were crying? Did they want to know what they were thinking and what they dreamt of becoming? This wasn’t the world I knew.
When I was seven, Robin, a friend from church, invited me to her grandmother’s house on a Saturday afternoon. My friend was turning 8 and her grandma was going to throw a doll’s tea party for her. She invited only me and told me to bring my favorite doll. My mother drove me there and walked me to the front door. When it opened, her grandma (a spirited woman named Birdie) burst with excitement and greeted me. She knelt down to my eye level and said, “Well, Christine…how are you today? I’m so glad you came to my house on this beautiful afternoon.” Just for a moment, I wondered what it would be like to be a part of her family. The thrill of being engaged like that stayed with me. I will never forget how it felt and can easily tear up just telling you the story.
Throughout my teen years and into my early adult years, I was prone to envision becoming a part of other’s families. I can name three without thinking too long. I had to work overtime not to appear needy and I was probably aloof to overcompensate. The ache went with me into my 40’s.
As you read this, perhaps you identify with my story. You know what it’s like to go on vacation and see other mothers, or fathers, playing with their children and finding joy in their company. There are so many present day reminders that trigger the longing from the past. Are you relegated to live in want and neglect? You probably give your children what you still crave for yourself.
Remember, you got a new Father at your 2nd birth. He will move over you to begin to fill the empty void your early family created. You are not meant to know perpetual emptiness. How? Here’s the homework. For every orphan profile that describes you, and it may be 10 out of 10 or 1 out of 10, make healing from that your spiritual journey for the next year. If you are looking in other’s windows, start researching scriptures that talk about God wooing, God accepting, God making you His and creating a place to belong. Live in these scriptures and be sure to engage the 2nd birth agent….the Holy Spirit. As you read the verses and meditate on them, ask the Spirit to breathe over you so that His Words can penetrate your heart. Ask Him to write those scriptures on the doorposts of your new foundation. Seek Him and He will be found!
Lord, You said ~ “Though my mother and father forsake me, You would receive me.” Ps. 27:10 We are often barely moved by this unless Your Spirit hovers over us to create a place in our hearts where Your Word can permanently rest. Make a way for us to know and feel that we, individually, belong to You. Amen