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Deep calls to deep at the noise of your waterspouts; all your waves and your billows are gone over me. Psalm 42:7

The waves of trouble that passed over the head of this psalmist have, by his own admission, passed through the hands of God first. In speaking to God, he labeled them ‘your waves.’

The theological precedent is set. All the troubles of my life have also passed through the hands of God. Satan was given permission – not free reign! God ached with the evil that would ensue but triumphed in the redemption that would follow. Knowing that God was ultimately in control was a comfort and the peace of that knowledge has only grown with the years. I once feared becoming a sad old woman who never made peace with her past but today I can say, with years of hindsight, that I am struck by the kindness of God.

I can muse endlessly about my yesterdays. As I rehearse my choices, I play the ‘what if’ game. What if I had chosen differently and been spared the consequences? What if I had trusted others wisely and escaped betrayal? What if I had been born into another family and dodged the wounds of childhood? What if I had chosen another career path and done what I dreamt of doing instead of what others expected of me?

Focusing on ‘what ifs’ bring torment. I never stop to consider how each wound ultimately saved me. Each piece of suffering sent me further and further into the abyss from which there was no escape without God. To finally wrap my arms around my Savior was worth any price.

What piece of thorny history are you resenting today? Perhaps the past keeps repeating itself and you believe that you deserve what’s happened to you. Whether your suffering is due to poor choices or the result of injuries others inflicted, the results are the same. Bruises of the soul are invitations for God’s saving intervention. Every thorn is a saving thorn if it leads to the arms of God.

I don’t want to re-live any of it but I have lived long enough to see You reveal the treasures of the darkness. I wouldn’t change anything. I can trust Your sovereignty ~ past, present, and future. In Jesus’ name, Amen

You make us an object of contention to our neighbors, And our enemies laugh among themselves.  Psalm 80:6

Those who live without Jesus hope for things they cannot see and have no assurance of ever getting.  “I hope I get picked for the team.”  “I hope things work out okay.”  “I hope I will be loved in my new marriage.”  They watch us live by faith and taunt us as we assure them that our Father answers prayer and keeps His promises.  We’re human though ~ and we ache as we seek to hang onto our hope.  It’s easy to lose it in the company of those who try to talk us out of it.

Children of God hope for things they cannot see but know that what they hope for already exists.  They have a Father who has promised it.  They hope for heaven; knowing it will be there when they take their first gasp of celestial air.  They hope for deliverance; knowing that there will be one whether on earth or in heaven.  They hope for healing; knowing that the Healer is vested in them and will provide it.  They hope for redemption; knowing that no pain is ever wasted.  Why?  God said so.

Waiting patiently is not passive but pro-active.  In order to keep hope alive (and keep the lies of hopelessness at bay), I must be reviewing the promises of my Father.  I re-read the stories of my spiritual ancestors and their similar dark times in order to be reminded how God was faithful when onlookers ridiculed them.  I find scriptural promises that relate to my struggle and live in the hope of them, knowing that promises are a sure thing because of “who” it is that made them.  I hang those promises on my mirror, on my walls, and post them in a prominent place in my car.  This is the fight for faith.

Loss, grief, betrayal…these all visit the lives of Christians and non-Christians alike.  Though weeping visits us all, the nature of our tears differs greatly.  The laments of God’s children are temporary and though they cry, they cling to the robe of their Prophet King and recite the promises of His good will.  Resolution of the heavenly kind is just around the corner.

If I harbor disappointment today in any area of my life, it is only because my deliverance has not yet come.  I know it will and my hope is sure in You.  Give me grace while I wait.  Give me strength to fight for my faith by speaking Your Word to the lies of my own soul.  Amen

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream.  Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”  Psalm 126:1-2

Jesus came to show me what God was like.  That He came is a miracle.  That He would leave heaven so I would know His Father is a miracle.  That He would die in order to show me the vastness of His Father’s love is a miracle.  That He would be so radical as to forgive all my sins and never bring them up again is a miracle.  That I would have nothing to feel guilty about is a miracle.  That I could dare go behind the veil and approach God intimately is a miracle.   There are enough grounds here to rejoice all day, every day, no matter how well or poorly my day is going.  King David only dreamt of such intimacy with God but in spite of that, he knew laughter and joy.

Yet, I’ve lived much of my life without joy.  What has been the problem? I have found, for me, that no joy means one of two things, and how I wish someone had told me this thirty years ago.

1.) I have not allowed the truth of God to impact my heart. Symptoms?  I know a lot but feel little.  I can pick apart doctrinal stands on issues but never let the truth of them affect me.  I can preach humility but be arrogant.  This is the fruit of study without meditation; about knowledge void of experience.  The cure?  I come to God everyday with the Word in my hand and ask Him to awaken my heart to the message.  “Search my heart, do surgery on my heart if necessary and let me feel what You feel, Lord, about this passage.” This begins a transformation that, over time, produces joy!

2.) I believe things about God that aren’t true that block joy. I can be full of contradictions.  I say that I believe Jesus came to save sinners but then I have trouble admitting that I am one.  I can easily give testimony that God is love but privately believe that He is punishing me when things go wrong.  I must ask God to make me self-aware, in touch with my emotions.  When I feel helpless, what do I believe that is causing me to feel helpless?  Therein lies the lie.  When misjudged and feeling outrage, what lie do I believe about God’s justice and His sovereign rule? I must name it before I can know freedom. I must hold up my emotions, the beliefs behind them, to the truth of God’s Word.  My beliefs, and the feelings which mask them, must be subject to Truth, always.

Joy begins when I know the truth.  Joy begins when I feel the truth.  Joy begins when I am delivered from misjudgments about God.  Joy begins when my heart of stone is touched by King Jesus and begins to beat hard with passionate responses to His glory.  I was made to feel joyful about God, not a shortsighted kind of joy that is dependent upon in my circumstances.

Some who have been martyred walked to their death singing.  Help me know what they knew.  In Jesus name, Amen

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To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.  O my God, I trust in You; Let me not be ashamed; Let not my enemies triumph over me.  Indeed, let no one who waits on You be ashamed.  Psalm 25:1-3

The only way I can bless those who persecute me is to have faith in the justice of God.  I have to trust that my Father does not take sin lightly and is anything but passive when His children are righteously persecuted.  Otherwise, I will see the command to ‘bless those who persecute me’ and believe that God shrugs His shoulders and fails to care about how much I may have been hurt.  The only thing I’ll perceive He’s concerned about is keeping the peace between enemies.  Does He love peace more than He loves truth?  Does He love reconciliation more than He angers over injustice?

These are the questions that can keep a child of God up at night ~ especially if they have been raised in a home where pain was not acknowledged.  Parents saw their children’s tears, heard them cry, and may have even heard the story of what caused the tears, but then walked away and appeared unmoved by it all.  “Pray for your enemies” is a hollow command in the halls of stoic homes.

 Against the backdrop of loving my enemy however is the reality of imprecatory passages, like Psalm 69:23-24 Let their eyes be darkened, so that they cannot see, and make their loins tremble continually. Pour out your indignation upon them, and let your burning anger overtake them.

Paul loved this Psalm and quoted it several times in Romans.  Jesus loved this Psalm as well and quoted it twice from the cross. Putting those who hurt me into God’s hands is to be assured that there will be justice served.  Either our enemy will come to the cross, repent, and Jesus will justify them through taking the wrath they should suffer upon Himself – or – at the end of the age, God will pour out His wrath and indignation upon them to the fullest extent.  One way or the other, no exceptions, sin must be dealt with.

God rules with justice and mercy.  He is passionate about mercy; about sinners coming to Jesus to have their sins forgiven and to experience a Savior who takes the wrath of God upon Himself.  And He is also passionate about justice; bringing down wrath on those who persecute the saints, perpetrate evil, and shun repentance.  His plan is perverted when I get in the way and try to wear His crown.  Justice is God’s business and never should I usurp His jurisdiction and take matters of revenge into my own hands.

Imprecatory Psalms and praying for our enemies are the practical applications of God’s justice and mercy here on earth.  If I am more bent toward one than the other, I misrepresent the nature and character of God.  If I’m soft on sin and have no righteous anger, then mercy stands alone and God’s holiness is in question.  If I live angry and cry out for justice, then the radical love that Jesus showed on the cross is obscured.

Dangerously, I am more bent toward one than the other.  God must work in me to make me balanced.  I am in prayer about this in my own heart.

Lord, you know my personal obstacles and only You can show break through my confusion and conflicted heart.  I wait for Your wisdom.  Amen

Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.  Psalm 37:3

Many have prayed for the will of God, followed His voice, and experienced complete disillusionment when they found themselves in hostile surroundings.  They blame God for being unloving or they blame themselves for being poor listeners.  Hostility within the will of God is common and should not surprise God’s children.  (Though I am not speaking of physical hostility where safety at home is threatened.)

Abram, the father of our faith, entered the land of the Canaanites, hostile company epitomized, and settled there.  Though he was the only Yahweh worshipper, He built an altar for everyone to see.  With far less revelation of God than I have, he was strong enough in his faith to stand out and be different from everyone else.

Some years back, our family lived in a hostile environment.  We begged, daily, for release.  We were willing to move anywhere and do anything to escape our surroundings.  Surely, we reasoned, God wouldn’t want for us to endure such a place.  Weren’t we promised blessing?  (We didn’t have a firm theology about the meaning of spiritual prosperity.)  Yet, every request for a move away was met by the silence of God.

One morning in prayer, the Spirit of God spoke to me through today’s verse in Psalms.  “Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.”  Psalm 37:3    We had to learn how to make our little home a place where the glory of God rested.  It was necessary for us to understand how to eat the sumptuous spiritual meal God provided daily while in the midst of our enemies.  We stayed three more years before God moved us out and that time proved to be one of the most formational times, spiritually, in our family’s history.

Many live in the midst of hostility.  You might be one of the ‘many’.  Unfortunately, the place of hostility can be with a husband, wife, child, or aging parent.  It can even be in a place of ministry where flesh rules and Spirit-led leadership is lacking.  Scorn and ridicule are the backdrops of your daily life.  Instinct says to escape and to do anything to run from such discomfort.  But God’s way is for His child to learn how to make Him their home.  The glory of Christ can descend on the darkest environment when one lone person is faithful to allow the candle of the Lord to shine through them.  It takes grace and grit – but both both are promised via the wind of God’s Spirit.

Give your children spiritual grit today and the courage to stay in a tormenting place.  Grant them peace in submission.  In Jesus’ name, Amen

The Mighty One, God the Lord, speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to its setting.  Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth.  Psalm 50:1-2

Christ’s death on the cross was for everyone.  The call is universal and it is sounded out to all men and women.  Jesus showed us the way to heaven, revealed that He is the door, and announced that He was the light of the world.  But men have always loved darkness rather than light.  Instead of the light being attractive, we are repelled by it.  Christ is just not desirable to us.  His light is too bright and we shield our eyes from it and turn away.

So, who will believe if all people love darkness?  The ones God specifically calls; the ones whose eyes are opened to see His glory.  Ah, this call is personal.  This call came to us by name.

Whenever God speaks a word, it is effective.

• God spoke a Word and this dead planet began to pulsate with life.  What once looked like Mars began to grow green.
• God spoke a Word to a dead man, a decaying man, wrapped up like a mummy, and this man came to life.  His body regenerated.  “Lazarus, come forth!” was the call.  God’s Word produced life out of death.
• God spoke a Word, called my name, and I was awakened out of spiritual death.  The call prompted me to turn and look into the face of Christ.  I understood His message of salvation and believed.  If He hadn’t spoken to me and opened my eyes, I would have continued on my death march.

Nobody knows whom God will call.  Because of that, my heart reaches out to God in prayer for those who haven’t yet heard their name spoken by God.  Now, Christ is still unattractive to them, even repulsive. Once God calls their name, they will never be the same.

The call is powerful like dynamite.  It transformed a brutal murderer into a zealot.  The Damascus road was the place it happened.  Paul was the man.   I know this transformation, too.  Don’t you?  The longer I live near Jesus and soak in His Words, the more I cease to know the old me.  You’ll never know how many times I read old journals and respond out loud, “What was your problem, Christine?” 

The call is to a new life.  Don’t walk!  Run to Calvary if you are hearing your name whispered in your soul.

Oh, still speak.  I love how You speak to me.  I love the results of Your touch on my life.  Amen

SaveSave

I had said in my alarm, “I am cut off from your sight.” But you heard the voice of my pleas for mercy when I cried to you for help.  Psalm 131:22

A big blowup in a relationship is not what usually kills it. People argue. Some fight passionately. But if both are committed to the each other and also committed to truth, there is understanding and restoration. What is deadly to any relationship, however, is a gradual deadening of the heart. A slow death is much more difficult to turn around.

You’ve heard the phrase, “I feel like I don’t know you anymore.” A ‘foreigner’ is a good description. It is saying, ‘You are acting so strangely that I don’t even recognize you. You may as well have come from a foreign land.’

 Amazing that what can be intimate can grow so deeply estranged. In a spiritual sense, this is what happens, more than not, to the children of God toward their Heavenly Father. No wonder there are so many songs about returning to your first love, about stirring the cold embers of your heart. Erosion can happen so slowly that the gradual decline is inconspicuous.

To make sure that it doesn’t happen to me, I want to think about this more intently this morning. What would happen that might show I’ve turned my face away from God to tiptoe in the other direction?

• I fail to take the sins of my heart seriously.
• I keep the reading of the Word technically and intellectually.
• I lose the lump in my throat when I talk about Jesus.
• The mercy He showed to me becomes a casual thought.
• God’s wooing is easily ignored.
• I play it safe to live in unbelief instead of by faith.

 I used to believe that some ‘thing’ would happen that would kill my faith. I guess I was wrong. Nothing can do that for me. Isaiah says that God’s children have turned themselves back into foreigners. Circumstances don’t make or break a relationship. It’s whether two people choose to walk together or not. It’s commitment. It’s nurturing the love that exists and never allowing any other priority to eclipse it.

Oh, that I might always say that we are intimate. Amen