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King Xerxes asked Queen Esther, “Who is he? Where is the man who has dared to do such a thing?” Esther said, “The adversary and enemy is this vile Haman.” Esther 7:5-6

King Xerxes was probably expecting to hear Esther reveal the name of a stranger, or at the very worst, the name of an acquaintance far removed from his royal court. I’m sure he wasn’t ready to hear the name of a friend and his most trusted advisor. The crime Haman committed against the Jews was unthinkable in itself, but the personal betrayal he committed against the King was pure mutiny.

Betrayal is always personal. Haman was exposed at Esther’s private dinner party. Nearly 800 years later, Judas was exposed at a similar private dinner engagement in an upper room with his closest friends. When Jesus suggested that one in the room would betray Him, the group was incredulous. It was beyond their ability to grasp that one so close to them and to Jesus could do such a thing. They were among their most cherished friends.
The more intimate the relationship, the more severe the sense of betrayal. Seeing the true colors of someone close to me can be a life-defining moment. I might forever divide my life into two parts ~ ‘before I knew the truth’ and ‘after I knew the truth.’ Innocence is corrupted. Love and loyalty lay in ruins. Trust is in ashes.

I do not survive a broken heart without the graciousness of Jesus’ heart toward me. It is a momentary grace, too. He does not give wings for tomorrow’s burden ~ today. Betrayal ushers in a mountain of hurt and I can wonder how I’ll cope as each day unfolds. I must take a day at a time, realizing that my Father’s ‘manna of grace’ is available everyday as I need it. Just as God helped His Son not only survive, but also forgive the ones who rejected Him, so He will supernaturally empower me to do the same. Those who commit such treacherous acts will never enjoy having the last word. Especially those who were responsible for the death of Jesus.

Your death, Jesus, proves to me that good can come out evil. Those who betrayed You thought they won, but they only positioned you on a cross that would bring about the redemption of mankind. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Then Queen Esther answered, “If I have found favor with you, O king, grant me my life. And spare my people–this is my request. For I and my people have been sold for destruction and slaughter and annihilation. If we had merely been sold as male and female slaves, I would have kept quiet. Esther 7: 3-4

Esther is the queen. Of all in the kingdom, there is no one who could enjoy more privilege. A life of ease is within her grasp. She can arrange her life any way she wishes for the most part. She has access to an unlimited array of servants, the best cuisine, the tailored clothing, and plush living quarters. But Esther has not been spoiled. She is in touch with her roots. Jewish history is in her blood. Slavery, suffering, and even death by the sword have defined her ancestry. She does not expect better. Eternity lives in her heart and she has adjusted her expectations of life on earth. Adversity would not take her by surprise. She only pleads for her life.

Just this week, a family member was relating to me how she was going to have to fire an employee. Early on, this person had showed great promise in her ability but when a small amount of favor was shown to her, favor caused her to morph into an entitled woman who blurred authority lines. She flaunted her favor with others and started giving orders. She simply forgot her place.

Esther never forgot her origins and she knew her place, even though queen. She wore humility as a cloak and did not have expectations of comfort, safety, love, and fairness. If God wasn’t going to deliver her and her people, she wouldn’t think of being indignant. She would accept what came and grieve her losses.

Oftentimes, I direct my search for happiness toward this fallen world. The truth is ~ life here will never be perfect. There will be moments here and there that bear the hint of an eternity to come (and I can enjoy them as premature gifts) but as soon as I wrap my arms too tightly around them and feel entitled to perfection, I am in trouble. Life here is characterized by joy and by suffering. When I really internalize that heaven is my home, happiness here can be celebrated and suffering expected. I endeavor to live the rich emotional life Jesus modeled here on earth. He could party – and He could grieve. Neither ends of the spectrum were squelched.

I am a citizen of God’s kingdom. I live with deferred hope. That is enough to enable me to live here now with joy and with sadness. Glorification is on the distant horizon.

Jesus was a King, yet He did not look for an earthly throne. I follow Him and adjust my expectations. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The king again asked, “Queen Esther, what is your petition? It will be given you.” Then Queen Esther answered, “If I have found favor with you, grant me my life–this is my petition. And spare my people–this is my request. Esther 7:2-3

I find this conversation between this king and queen preposterous. They are married yet their lack of intimacy is evident. Esther has been in travail for several weeks. The king is so caught up in the affairs of his kingdom that he is clueless as to the suffering of his wife. When she asks him to spare her life, he is shocked.

Unfortunately, this can be a picture of many intimate relationships. The ones who should notice that our burden is too heavy are often the last ones to see the sign. The intimacy that should mark our connection is mocked.

Today, I may be so consumed with my world that I fail to notice what threatens to destroy the life of someone I love. The signs are probably there if I look. While they may be subtle (for few wear their despair openly on their sleeve), I should be connected to their heart in such a way as to discern the evidence. A face that reveals lack of sleep. Staring off into space. A lifeless spirit. Hibernation from others. Veiled answers to my questions. May I be a catalyst to bring their pain out in to the open before it’s too late.

The Spirit of God, the One who is omniscient about those I love, lives in me. Therefore, discernment and wisdom should be my hallmarks. The Spirit was sent to be a comforter and will often use my hands to accomplish His mission. His knowledge of others is perfect and complete. I need only be still long enough to tap into His revelation. He will show me how to pray, when to reach out, and even what words to use to draw out their admission of need. May “clueless” never characterize my rapport with someone who lives right under my nose.

Is someone I love wondering how to make it through today? Show me. I will be Your instrument of intervention. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

But Haman rushed home, with his head covered in grief, and told Zeresh his wife everything that had happened to him. She said to him, “Since Mordecai, before whom your downfall has started, is of Jewish origin, you cannot stand against him–you will surely come to ruin!” Esther 6:12-13

I am thinking about the confusion Haman’s wife must be feeling. She has seen her husband rise to power. She has heard him tell of his advancement in his own words. You know his narrative was full of self-aggrandizement! How could she have known his version was twisted? She didn’t have access to the king’s court to see her husband manipulate people and posture conversations. Just at a time when she thought it was safe to celebrate the security of their future, she was brought face to the face with the real man to whom she was married. The one whom she thought mighty now looks like a fool.

Seeing a hero fall off of his pedestal can be devastating. I have lived long enough to be surprised by people. On many occasions, those that I admired, those that seemed inoculated from moral failure because of their stature, fell hard. First, there was shock. Then, insecurity spread. I ended up asking myself, “If this person fell, how do I stand a chance of staying faithful to God? And, who can I trust to lead me?”

Perhaps Zeresh, with her proximity to Haman, knew his true character. I’m sure there were warning signs if she had any measure of discernment. Sometimes though, the dysfunction in a personal relationship can appear to work. It’s normalized over time.. Because another’s weakness can also serve our own, we’re willing to turn a blind eye to the possibility of collapse.

If I see another as mighty today, I am pulled up short. Only God is all-powerful. Each person has his vulnerabilities. Are they open enough to lay them down at the feet of Jesus? If so, grace will conquer. If not, then I review again that God instituted a world of sowing and reaping. When seeds of sin are sown, there will be dire consequences. It’s just a matter of time. Either there will be a Mordecai who rises to power wearing a cloak of humility, or there will be a Haman who trades honor for disgrace.

Today, I pray for each person I admire. And, I ask You to show me my blind spots that could lead me to a fall. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

So Haman got the robe and the horse. He robed Mordecai, and led him on horseback through the city streets, proclaiming before him, “This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!” Esther 6:11

It is easy to imagine Haman’s shame and allow this part of the story to capture my attention. I love to see justice done, don’t you? I relish the thought that Haman was forced to provide the honor he imagined for himself to the man he hated most.

This morning however, my thoughts are directed to Mordecai. His lack of malice astounds me, both when he was in subjection to Haman’s position, and again, when he was honored over him. I consider two ways he displayed humility.
• When he refused to bow down to Haman at the king’s gate, he didn’t disrespect the man. He never expressed hatred toward him. He simply stated that the object of his worship was the God of Israel. Haman was the one who called Mordecai his enemy.
• When Mordecai was exalted, put on a horse, and then paraded through the city streets by the man who had tried to ruin him, he didn’t give Haman a speech. “See where evil got you? God saw your evil deeds and now I am the one being honored. Justice has been done.” No, he receives his honor with humility and does not feed malice.

Periods of humiliation can be dangerous breeding grounds for revenge. If I fail to handle humiliation as Jesus did, seeing that all my days have unfolded according to the wisdom and sovereignty of God, then I will be marking time until I am vindicated. If my disgrace ends and others see that they were wrong, how will I respond? Will I trample them underfoot and forever remind them of their offense? At that point, my Christianity puts me under great stress.

I remember Jesus’ urging to love my enemies. I despair that this is simply impossible in the flesh but He knows that. It is only when I come to the end of myself that the Spirit of God can undertake His most magnificent works of grace. Humility, even in victory, is not natural. It is supernatural.

It’s easy for me to love those who love me. I don’t need You for that! I’m not very loving toward those who take issue with me. I will want revenge without submitting to Your Spirit, who waits to work through me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

When Haman entered, the king asked him, “What should be done for the man the king delights to honor?” Now Haman thought to himself, “Who is there that the king would rather honor than me?” Esther 6:6

Haman is enjoying a false sense of security. His recent promotion to one of the top officials in the court has gone to his head. His arrogance has been fattened further by the invitations to Esther’s table. This particular morning, Haman is being summoned into the king’s sleeping quarters before anyone else in the palace. The king reveals that he wishes to honor someone and Haman is quick to assume that the honor will most certainly be his.

I wonder how much of Haman is in me. I can easily be affected by whose ear I enjoy. I can so easily want others to know of my accomplishments and to make sure it happens, I think up creative ways to insert such information into everyday conversations. All of this feeds my soul, not my spirit. What’s the difference? My soul is selfish and looks for ways to flaunt the myth that I’m really someone important apart from God’s favor on my shoulder. I mistake God’s blessing on my life as something I attained solely through ingenuity and hard work. My spirit, however, longs to make God great. So He can be magnified, I am willing to be small in other’s eyes.

What drives each one of us to seek places of prominence? Whether insecurity or entitlement, it is always won at the expense of others. God says that real honor will come to us another way; the way of humility. Modest people are uncomfortable with honor when it’s conferred on them. They immediately insist that it’s misplaced. What gets complicated is when I know enough scripture to fake humility. I discover that I can still be in the spotlight if I’m known for being humble. How tricky the soul is! My pride has a voracious appetite and there are all sorts of creative ways I can appear self-effacing.

The closer I get to Jesus, I find that there is only one kind of honor I crave ~ the pleasure of Jesus. I have to constantly re-align my focus and turn my eyes to the One whose applause matters.

I want to fully live by my spirit, not my soul. Don’t let me forget the story of Haman. When my dreams turn self-centered, let me remember his story. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

That night the king could not sleep; so he ordered the book of the chronicles, the record of his reign, to be brought in and read to him. It was found recorded there that Mordecai had exposed Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s officers who guarded the doorway, who had conspired to assassinate King Xerxes. Esther 6:1-2

In spite of the fact that a king enjoys plush sleeping quarters, Xerxes couldn’t sleep. Hindsight shows us that God was at work, causing sleep to evade him. Deciding to get up and read, he thought of glancing through the journal of events that spanned his reign. Did this idea originate with him? I doubt it. Mordecai, one of God’s choicest sons, was in danger and God personally takes care of His children. So, we can rightly assume that God planted this nocturnal activity in the king’s mind, one that would end up causing this king to review an old plot meant to harm him. While reading, he would also uncover that Mordecai had never been rewarded for saving his life.

It is a comfort to me that God works in the night. He is capable of doing deep spirit work while I sleep.

• He often gives me dreams that have prophetic implications. I have about two dreams a year like this. I get up right away and record them in my journal.
• Other times, He allows me to have dreams that are simply truth-telling sessions about the character of certain people in my life. They act out, even in absurdity, in ways that are consistent with the strengths and weaknesses of their personality.
• There are other times I toss and turn in darkness, consumed with worry. When that happens, it’s time to confront the spiritual giants in the land with faith.
• Finally, there are moments I wake up with a jolt. I am alert and know that I am to pray, or get up to read something. Oftentimes, I’m led to a particular book in my library. I’ll turn haphazardly to a page and discover I’m awakened to the truths contained there. An accident? Hardly.

The God of Xerxes has not changed. Lack of sleep is a good motivator to pursue God’s intent. Oftentimes, it’s life saving. But, at the very least, it’s always worth getting up for.

I love to sleep, but not at the expense of missing an appointment with You. When sleep evades me, help me discover Your plan. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

His wife Zeresh and all his friends said to him, “Have a gallows built, seventy-five feet high, and ask the king in the morning to have Mordecai hanged on it. Then go with the king to the dinner and be happy.” This suggestion delighted Haman, and he had the gallows built. Esther 5:14

People who care about us don’t always lend the best advice. They mean well but their loyalty to us often taints their intended wisdom. Haman’s wife and his friends were apparently blind to Haman’s character flaws. They could not see that his greed for power obscured his vision for what was really happening. Esther had initiated the invitations to dinner to trap Haman yet he assumed they were to honor him. His family and friends bought his interpretation of the events and were all too happy to suggest a gallows be made for Mordecai. Why did Haman go on to build them? Because the advice they gave him brought great pleasure and gave him a way to express his hatred.

It is easy for me to love others’ advice when it pleases my flesh. When unhealthy appetites for personal gain rule me, I will gravitate toward those who agree with me. If I squirm when challenged because of my own insecurity, I may even put together a library of authors who hold my point of view. I will appear all knowing and well connected, at least for a while, in a womb of false teaching. What I fear most can be a knowledgeable opponent.

Another person’s advice is only as sound as his connection to God, his grasp of the scriptures, and his accountability to good teachers. Before I assemble my own panel of counselors, it is prudent for me to ask myself some questions:

• Will these people speak the truth to me, even if it makes me uncomfortable?
• Will they show me the face of Christ by their lifestyle as well as their words? Many Christians are educated and quite dogmatic but without the grace of Jesus.
• Do others characterize these people as wise? If so, who are they? Who are their bedfellows?
• Does wisdom rule their lives? They should have a track record for navigating complicated situations successfully.

The issue is not whether another person’s advice makes me feel good, but is it true? And if so, is it timely and wise if applied? If the answers to these questions are yes, God is with me.

Everyone is quick to offer advice. I can be blinded by a person’s position of authority. Show me who should counsel. It may be the lowliest person I know. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Haman added. “I’m the only person Queen Esther invited to accompany the king to the banquet she gave. And she has invited me along with the king tomorrow. 13 But all this gives me no satisfaction as long as I see that Jew Mordecai sitting at the king’s gate.” Esther 5: 12-13

We might assume that a promotion would put Haman in such a good mood that he would forget the offenses of one man. Not a chance! The honor Haman received from Esther’s invitations to dinner turned sour in his mouth because of the memory of Mordecai’s behavior. He just couldn’t forget it as his pride was sorely injured. The wound was deep and he was hopeful that a rise to power would give him the means to convert his hatred into an action plan.

Power can be an opiate. I can be tempted to enjoy its privileges, not because I want to serve others, but because there are things in me that I assume it will get healed apart from God.

• If I was never validated as a child, I can view prestige as a cure for deep-seated insecurity. I foolishly believe that the praise of other people will compensate for not having received the validation of my parents. It never will.
• If I have been misunderstood and misjudged in my adult life, I perceive an honor as probable vindication. I can believe that the ones who misunderstood me will change their mind once they learn of my advancement. It usually doesn’t work that way.
• If I have been the victim of unfairness, I will welcome power as a means to exact justice. I may even believe I’m doing God’s work by taking action against evil and forcing good. The problem is, my definition of good is really steeped in a need for untimely justice. I view advancement as a tool to satisfy old prejudices.

The principle is this. My leadership is shaped by the good and the bad in me. If I fail to deal with dark shadows from the past, they will accompany me throughout my lifetime and infect every major decision. Even though I could potentially sit in a place of great honor, childish behavior threatens to rule my conduct. There is no daily discipline more pressing than asking God to search my heart to reveal traces of wickedness. God wants to raise up a righteous leader who can hear the Spirit’s direction without impediment. Sin deceives. Sin blinds. Sin deafens. I can’t afford the price tag.

You’ve put me in a position to affect many people. I do not want to use power ruthlessly and I have no idea the damage I can do. I embrace sanctification. Amen

“If the king regards me with favor and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and fulfill my request, let the king and Haman come tomorrow to the banquet I will prepare for them. Then I will answer the king’s question,” Esther said. Haman went out that day happy and in high spirits. Esther 5: 8-9

Throughout the Old Testament, God raised up one prophet after another who supernaturally discerned a person’s sin and was then sent by God to address them. For the one who had erred, his life shattered. The illusion of all being well dissipated into thin air.

I remember when Nathan came to King David after his sin with Bathsheba and confronted him about his adultery. The altercation pierced the false sense of David’s well being. Psalm 51 was David’s response.

Haman, a different kind of man, was also ultimately revealed. At this point in the story however, he was in high spirits. He believed he was secure in his place of leadership. Everything appeared to be going his way as evidenced by a private invitation to the queen’s banquet. His seemingly bright future was really a house of cards about to crumble.

When I sin, Satan is also eager to make sure I am also rewarded with the illusion of well-being. It would appear to me that I have never been more invincible, that I’ve gotten away with something and have escaped accountability. How I see myself is the exact opposite of what an intuitive servant of God sees. They know that I am perched in a precarious position. They may try to tell me that my life hangs in the balance if there’s not a course correction that begins with repentance.

So here’s the thing. I am only as strong as my ability to stand before God with no pretenses.

There is a barometer for spirituality. If I live in sin, I live in peril. I am only as strong as the person whose voice I obey. I choose You, Jesus. Amen