But Haman rushed home, with his head covered in grief, and told Zeresh his wife everything that had happened to him. She said to him, “Since Mordecai, before whom your downfall has started, is of Jewish origin, you cannot stand against him–you will surely come to ruin!” Esther 6:12-13
I am thinking about the confusion Haman’s wife must be feeling. She has seen her husband rise to power. She has heard him tell of his advancement in his own words. You know his narrative was full of self-aggrandizement! How could she have known his version was twisted? She didn’t have access to the king’s court to see her husband manipulate people and posture conversations. Just at a time when she thought it was safe to celebrate the security of their future, she was brought face to the face with the real man to whom she was married. The one whom she thought mighty now looks like a fool.
Seeing a hero fall off of his pedestal can be devastating. I have lived long enough to be surprised by people. On many occasions, those that I admired, those that seemed inoculated from moral failure because of their stature, fell hard. First, there was shock. Then, insecurity spread. I ended up asking myself, “If this person fell, how do I stand a chance of staying faithful to God? And, who can I trust to lead me?”
Perhaps Zeresh, with her proximity to Haman, knew his true character. I’m sure there were warning signs if she had any measure of discernment. Sometimes though, the dysfunction in a personal relationship can appear to work. It’s normalized over time.. Because another’s weakness can also serve our own, we’re willing to turn a blind eye to the possibility of collapse.
If I see another as mighty today, I am pulled up short. Only God is all-powerful. Each person has his vulnerabilities. Are they open enough to lay them down at the feet of Jesus? If so, grace will conquer. If not, then I review again that God instituted a world of sowing and reaping. When seeds of sin are sown, there will be dire consequences. It’s just a matter of time. Either there will be a Mordecai who rises to power wearing a cloak of humility, or there will be a Haman who trades honor for disgrace.
Today, I pray for each person I admire. And, I ask You to show me my blind spots that could lead me to a fall. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.