PRAYING TO THE COVENANT MAKER

And Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant. Please deliver me from the hand of Esau, for I fear him. But you said, ‘I will surely do you good, and make your offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.’ ” Genesis 32:9-12

         How desperate have you been in prayer? Days can go by and prayers are pretty casual. “Bless my family today and help them love You more!” I might even pray this while driving or eating my morning yogurt.

         But there is another kind of prayer. It sounds like Jacob’s prayer before Esau comes to meet him with 400 men. It’s the kind we pray when we are fighting for our lives.

         There’s a door jam in our house that borders our guest room that has been gripped and wet with tears on many, many occasions. Getting up in the night to pray, I lay my head against it, hold on to the frame tightly, and plead with God to remember His covenant with me and my family. Utter desperation was the backdrop of these prayers.

         It is not arrogant to come humbly before God and remind Him of His promises. It is to take hold of His robe and plead for your life. It’s the equivalent of a child saying to his father, “But you said!” Is not a father’s heart moved by that? Does a good father respond with a rebuke? “How dare you remind me of what I said!”

         God is a Covenant Maker and does not make promises begrudgingly. He loves to do it and is passionate about keeping them. My relationship with Him, just like Jacob, is often one of wrestling over my Canaan. I don’t engage God with a fist in this wrestling match. I am one trying to get to the bottom of my own angst and inaccurate perceptions of His character. In the end, I am aware of my own unworthiness and humbled by His gracious heart.

You have heard all my pleading. I’m glad that I never have to stop being Your child and undoubtedly, Lord, you’ll still hear lots of pleading before I’m home. Amen

HOW CAN I SOFTEN THEIR HEART?

And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother in the land of Seir, the country of Edom, instructing them, “Thus you shall say to my lord Esau: Genesis 32:3-4

         After all these years, Jacob is about to meet Esau, the brother he cheated out of covenantal privileges. He is afraid for his life and rightly so. Terrified of the reality, he sent messengers on ahead to test the waters, to speak of him and see what kind of heart Esau had.

         Have you ever feared meeting with a certain person? Tensions between you are high and over the years, there’s little else you can think of when your soul is quiet. The strained relationship weighs heavily on you. In order to test the waters, you ask someone who is in good standing with them to speak of you. You ask them to reveal your present circumstances and tell how your heart has changed since last they saw you. By doing this, you will have an idea on how wise or unwise it would be to restore the relationship.

         A mediator is oftentimes needed. When judgments have been made, fairly or unfairly, softening the heart of the estranged is difficult.

         Jesus is the mediator we can count on. When God was misunderstood, He sent Jesus to show us His heart, personality, and character. Jesus softened our hearts and paid a great price to restore the breech in our relationship.

         Jesus is still a mediator, not only between us and His Father, but between us and anyone else with whom we suffer a distance. When a foundation of prayer is laid, He goes ahead of us to change the one we fear. Nothing is too hard for our Mediator, Jesus. He can give them a dream, speak to them in the night, cause them to remember a story about us that they had forgotten, or make sure they cross paths with someone who can speak about us in a way that makes them softer.

         What can I pray if I am estranged from my brother, sister, parent, or friend? “Lord, would you give them your eyes for me? Would you bind their thinking to yours? Would you loose the lies they believe and the revenge they seek? Till the soil of their heart so that they are approachable.”

         Not only are the hearts of kings in God’s hands, but so is the heart of your nemesis.

You, Lord, are the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid? Amen

Journal Question: What relationship have you given up on? Would you be willing to entertain the thought that God can change their heart toward you? Begin writing a strategic prayer today.

WHEN A PEACEMAKER BECOMES A FIGHTER

When Abram heard that his kinsman had been taken captive, he led forth his trained men.  Genesis 14:14

         Abram surprises us all when he takes up arms to fight.  He has always been a peacemaker.  No one who reads his story in the preceding chapters has any idea he has a small trained army within his own household.  Now, they are revealed and are released to go fight the enemies who have taken his nephew, Lot, captive.  Though Abram’s brave men are greatly outnumbered, they are fierce warriors with God on their side.  They defeat the captors and free Lot.  This is not the first or last time we will see God’s economics astound us.

         It’s always a shock when a peacemaker is willing to fight.  It’s equally shocking when a fighter lays down his sword and pulls a chair up to the table to seek peace. Both have earned a reputation for responding to life in a certain way but out of the blue, they make different choices and shock everyone around them.

         Each of us is bent, because of our personality, more toward one or the other.  Gentle spirits love peace and hate conflict.  Feisty spirits love a good fight and see those who seek peace as being weak.  We build a track record for only responding one way and those around us count on us reacting as we have always done.  I am a peacemaker, by nature, and not easily inflamed.  It takes a lot to anger me and while that can appear admirable, I can tell you that it can be a fault.  A friend once told me, after hearing a few stories where I was badly harassed by others, that I was patient to a fault.  She was right.

         A balanced child of God, one who is like Jesus, does not act solely out of his personality type.  He listens to Jesus and follows Him even when he is asked to do something difficult.  A fighter needs to learn to be still.  A peacemaker needs to learn how to fight.  There is a time to take the hill and there is a time to flee conflict.

         Many of us can live our lives thinking that the bents of our personality are righteous.  Peacemakers applaud all peacemaking and throw stones at those who always want to lead a charge.  Fighters ridicule peacemakers and believe them to be weak.  May we meet in the middle?  Both are needed and both, acting under the direction of the Spirit, play pivotal roles in the purposes of God.

Teach me when to fight and not retreat.  Give me the boldness to step outside of my peacemaker box.  Amen

Journal Question:  Which are you, a peacemaker or one who does not shrink from challenges and confrontations?  What can you learn from an opposite today, a godly opposite?  Whom do you admire that is unlike you?  Ask God to stretch you in a more balanced direction.

THE COMFORT OF HIDING

He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress. Proverbs 14:26

         How can being afraid of God make me secure?  It can’t. Yet the picture of a God angry at humanity and poised to punish them persists in the minds of most people.

         ‘Fearing the Lord’ never means being afraid if I am His child.  Oh, if only I had known this in the first three decades of my life.  The ones who claimed to speak for God misrepresented who He was and I kept my distance. I studied Him but never drew close.

         To ‘fear the Lord’ means to tremble with wonder over His beauty.  I was created to worship beauty and that begins with the Creator of everything beautiful.

         I am secure if I know that the One who is greater than any evil offers me a place to hide in Him.  Turning away from the storm, I can bury my face in the Rock of Ages and know that He who is Love will shelter me.  I don’t need to fear that someone bigger will come along and, again, put me at risk.  I am held securely because there is no one who can threaten me.  I seek refuge in the One who has written the last chapter in history and He is the victor. Every foe today is already defeated. Either they don’t know it yet or they are very well aware of their end and just pretend to wield a power that isn’t theirs. Continue reading “The Comfort Of Hiding” →

CRUSHED IN SPIRIT

A soothing tongue is a tree of life but perversion in it crushes the spirit.  Proverbs 15:4

         We often don’t equate words with weaponry.  We believe that to do mortal damage, it must be inflicted physically, if it is to do real harm.  Words don’t leave visible wounds and that’s why recklessness with words abounds.

         I am struck by the power of Solomon’s words.  Perverse words don’t just sting, causing someone to wince and then get over it.  They have the ability to crush the spirit.  Anyone who has been the recipient of a tirade can attest to what happens to their body as words are used against them as a weapon.  I hear many wives and husbands say that a bitter confrontation with their spouse leaves them physically weak.  As the barrage of accusations come their way, they feel themselves sinking and diminishing.  Some are even reduced to a state of wordlessness as they lose their sense of personal power.  Continue reading “Crushed In Spirit” →

SWEAR TO ME!

Laban said, “This heap is a witness between you and me today.” Therefore he named it Galeed, and Mizpah, for he said, “The Lord watch between you and me, when we are out of one another’s sight. Genesis 31:48-49

         When God is left out of relationships, things deteriorate quickly. This is true whether it involves families, churches, or even nations. Good covenants, the kind God makes with us, are beautiful treaties. They promise protection, provision, inner prosperity, and longevity. The knowledge that such a covenant exists is a comfort to us. When life gets challenging, we know that there is someone to whom we can run.

         Unfortunately, there is another kind of covenant. It is the kind Laban made with Jacob. Although they were extended family, there was hurt and distrust. Neither wanted to be vulnerable to the other. To ensure that there would be no malice, a covenant was made. Stones were assembled into pillars and oaths were taken. In essence, this was their agreement. “Even when you can’t see me, you don’t need to fear me. I will not harm you.” This is one of the first non-aggression pacts.

         Politically, countries make treaties like this kind today. The two parties are enemies but neither can afford the fallout of war. In order to self-protect, they draw up a non-aggression pact.

         What is most tragic is when these unspoken pacts exist in a family. “You stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours.” “Swear that you will never do that again and I’ll make it worth your while!”  Such words certainly break the heart of a God who sees His beautiful design of a family defaced. What is the cure for these self-protective, non-aggressive promises between people? The personal revival of both parties.

         If I love God and you love God and we both live our lives for His glory, neither of us need fear the other. We may or may not be close friends. That is beside the point. Just the knowledge that spiritual integrity exists erases the need to continually look over our shoulders.

If there are unholy standoffs that can be healed with prayer, make me aware. Amen

Journal Question: Do you have any relationships that function under the umbrella of non-aggression pacts? Is there enough trust in the relationship to discuss this? Write out what a holy covenant of trust would look like with this other person. Make this your prayer today.

DEFENDING YOURSELF WITH THE TRUTH

         There I was: by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes. These twenty years I have been in your house. I served you fourteen years for your two daughters, and six years for your flock, and you have changed my wages ten times. Genesis 31:40-41

         Jacob had had enough. He had labored under Laban’s patriarchal umbrella and suffered unfairly. He had been stolen from, lied to, and cheated out of earned wages. He had been tricked into taking a wife he never chose. On this day though, after being hunted down and accused of not acting justly, he rose up to tell the truth of the story.

         Making a ‘defense’ is one of those touchy subjects. If I defend myself in the heat of the moment, I can easily hear, “Well, aren’t you defensive!”  At that point, the other assumes my guilt instead of innocence. Somewhere in this equation is turning the other cheek and suffering silently like Jesus did when he was like a lamb led to slaughter. How can I know when it’s right for the truth to be spoken? If only there were a scripture and verse that said, ‘When you are wronged, speak up for yourself.’ There is not.

         A defense given for the sake of truth is one thing but a defense given for the sake of wounded pride is another. Because there was no sin in Jesus’ heart, and because he rose to defend (and tell) the truth on many occasions, I can conclude that making a defense can be a righteous act. How, and why, I make it is the issue.

         The fact that Jacob had waited so long to set the record straight is probably evidence that he had worked through his injustice with God. His rage was long gone. On the day of their final goodbye, it was only right for Laban to hear the lineup of past events from a righteous point of view.

         Jesus told his disciples that the Holy Spirit would come and ‘reveal all things’ to their hearts. That was their comfort and it is also mine when the subtleties of navigating relationships leave me confused. All the more reason to live prayerfully with my ear to my Father’s heart. When wronged, He will convict me of wounded pride even when the offense is real. When emotions are hot, He will restrain my speech. I can make no rational choices when I’m in a “How dare you do this to me!” kind of mood.

My family suffered silently and never spoke up. You have to help me break the cycle and not swing to the other side. Balance, Lord! Amen

Journal Question: Jesus said, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things.” John 14:26 On what side of the pendulum do you swing? Are you normally hot and defensive or are you a silent sufferer? Talk to the Lord about what you need to strike a balance so that you only speak when, and how, Jesus would.

CONSIDER HIS BEHAVIORAL PATTERN!

Why did you flee secretly and trick me, and did not tell me, so that I might have sent you away with mirth and songs, with tambourine and lyre? Genesis 31:27

         Jacob and his wives snuck away from Laban’s camp and headed back to Canaan. They did it while Laban and his sons were thirty miles away so that making an exit was feasible. Laban came home, discovered them gone and pursued them. He was angry and accused them of leaving secretly and foregoing a going away party that he would have thrown. Really? Laban had no intention of allowing Jacob to leave. Jacob had been the ‘blessed’ visitor who had brought Laban nothing but wealth and prosperity.

         Did Jacob believe Laban’s words that were intended to produce guilt and perhaps a change of mind? And what happens when a less-than-true person tries to manipulate you? Do you give them the benefit of the doubt without applying spiritual discernment?

         For much of my early life, I took people at their word. Oh, how I paid! Repeatedly! I simply had no training from my home of origin on reading people. If they said they were trustworthy, I believed them. No wonder so much of my teaching now focuses on wisdom and discernment. God would not have us live as lambs to the slaughter. Proverbs, just one book that makes up the scriptures, is full of warnings about trusting the wrong people.

         How can you tell today who is sincere? Should you just believe the person who claims they are in earnest? I must always start with the other’s behavioral patterns. Their track record. What kind of history have they built in the past? If change is sincere, there will be a trail to prove it.

         Many have run home to a marriage partner and put themselves in an unsafe environment all because they were charmed into doing it. Jesus would never have us love peace more than we love truth. He teaches us to be discerners of spirits if we are willing to sit at His feet and learn. There are Labans among us; out to feed their appetites for greed, power and control. No child of God should enable such behavior by being the kind of peacemaker Jesus was not.

For the one who is poised today to make a decision about a troublesome relationship, make them spiritually street smart. Just like You, Jesus. Amen

Journal Question: Have you been one who has been easily fooled by a certain kind of person? Isolate the lies you believed and ask God to show you why you needed to believe them. What would be the fallout if you no longer caved to their arguments?

RUNNING FROM TEARS
 
Even in laughter the heart may be in pain, and the end of joy may be grief.  Proverbs 14:13
 
That which is breaking our heart is often difficult to acknowledge.  Somewhere beneath our sanguine exterior, a grief pokes at us constantly, begging for acknowledgment.  Too frightening to embrace and process, we can run from it, sometimes indefinitely.

I am often aware of the sad eyes at social gatherings.  Those who regale others with the funniest stories of the evening can be the very ones who cry themselves to sleep in private agony. Continue reading “Running From Tears” →

INHERITANCE TALK

Your testimonies are my heritage forever, for they are the joy of my heart.  Psalm 119:111

    Have you ever been denied what is rightfully yours?  Perhaps inheritance issues have divided your family and humanly speaking, you came out on the short end.  The pain of broken promises can turn the nicest hearts into bitter ones.  Twisted old men and women were once young dreamers.  Hurt upon hurt chipped away at their trust and their optimism and the face of cynicism was slowly revealed with the years.  With nothing and no one to count on, they threw up their hands and resigned themselves to get nothing.  They tested everyone in their life; “they love me…”, “they love me not….”  Those who had a relationship with them felt the pressures of the relationship and got weary of jumping through hoops to prove their love.  Continue reading “Inheritance Talk” →