When One Child Is Left Out

And Abraham said to God, “Oh that Ishmael might live before you!”  God said, “No, but Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his offspring after him. As for Ishmael, I have heard you; behold, I have blessed him and will make him fruitful and multiply him greatly.   Genesis 17:18-20  ESV

Ishmael may have been the child born outside of God’s plan, but that wasn’t his fault.  He was now a full-fledged person, a son that Abraham had grown to love.  When God promises Abraham that his next, unborn, son will be the recipient of the covenant, Abraham struggles as he realizes that Ishmael will be left out.

Is that not painful for any parent who loves their children equally?  They see one flourish in most everything, but for the other, everything seems to come hard.  It happens in almost every home.  If we are not careful, we will conclude that God has blessed one and cursed the other.  Our theology must bear down hard and carry us through misconceptions.

Many who teach are hard on Abraham for wanting God to just give the blessing to Ishmael instead of the son who is coming but he is just being a father.  God knew that, too.  He said, “As for Ishmael, I have heard you.”   God understands the heart of fathers.

So, what about the child for whom everything comes hard?  What should be his perspective?  And what is to be my perspective as a parent?   The story is not yet finished.  It might be that the one who finds life easy will later encounter challenges that will build endurance into his character.  Humility and dependence on God will be the wonderful fruits of struggle.  And the one who seems forgotten in their youth?  God may be using suffering to prepare them for greatness.  As with many of his choicest servants, the first 40 years were the wilderness preparation for a glorious deliverance into anointed ministry and unfathomable blessing.

As a parent, I must trust God as I remember that I am only in the middle of the story.  God is God.  He writes the ending. My part is to trust, pray, and encourage both children to walk humbly with their God despite the seeming inequity.  In the end, we will see evidence that God does do all things well. 

Help my faith to grow up! Amen

Laughter In A Moment Of Disbelief

I will bless her, and moreover, I will give you a son by her. I will bless her, and she shall become nations; kings of peoples shall come from her.”    Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed.  Genesis 17:16-17  ESV

I have had incredible prayers answered.  Some were so desperate that when He broke through with deliverance, I fell to my knees and cried out, not with tears, but with laughter.  I’m pretty reserved so anyone who knows me might be surprised by this admission.

Laughter has gotten a bad rap.  It does not always mean derision or unbelief.  For me, my outburst of laughter came with these words tumbling out in staccato.  “Oh Lord, you did it!  Thank you.  This is too good to be true.”  I hugged Him in the air and danced, literally.  If He hadn’t delivered, I would be stooped and old for my age today.  My only hope was in Him.  I was completely out of options.

How can we say what kind of laughter Abraham had when God announced the coming birth of a child in his old age?  Maybe it was of the praising kind, not of unbelief.  Perhaps it celebrated a God so good, so faithful, that laughter expressed celebration of something to come.

Anyone can laugh when celebrating a miracle, but the real test is whether I can celebrate before it happens.  My faith has been so weak at times.  What did I do instead?  I didn’t laugh.  Webster’s Dictionary spells some alternatives, crying, moaning, sobbing, wailing, frowning, pouting, and scowling.  Not that there shouldn’t be tears in God’s waiting room.  There should be and there are.  But joyful confidence in a God who can, and will, break through the dark clouds, should also be present.  If I can’t believe His promises enough to speak them and feel them, I live in dark places.  Abundant life begins with faith in what cannot be seen nor discerned.  My spirit has eyes and can see down hope’s pathways.

In all my waiting places, I celebrate You.  Amen

From One Kind Of Princess to Another

And God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name.  Genesis 17:15 ESV

The name Sarai means ‘princess.’  So does the name Sarah.  Supposedly, at first glance, they could mean the same thing.  Ah – but they don’t, only because the ones who named her did so for vastly different reasons. 

Sarai was once of nobility among her people, she was her father’s princess.  She was the center of his world, and the name was all about her position and pecking order.  However, once God spoke her name, she became one who would share in the covenant God made with Abraham.  She became God’s princess, the foundational matriarch of God’s new nation. 

When a baby is born, his parents give him a name.  How he feels about it depends on whether he is valued, even how his mother and father say his name.  He will respond accordingly.  Is his name spoken with joy?  Is it whispered tenderly as he is rocked to sleep?   Was his name played with lovingly until an endearing nickname emerged?  If none of the above is true, he probably not only dislikes his name but struggles to like himself. 

Something happens when God calls our name.  The very voice of Love speaks.  It’s unique sound impacts our soul and our spirit.  The affection that comes with its delivery goes deep and begins to heal all other forms of rejection.  There is no way God can touch anything without its properties changing, even when it’s the human heart.   

You are personal and eager to show Your love in ways I’ve never even thought of asking.  Expand the possibilities.  Amen

A Grove Of Hydrangeas

A personal story . . .

My favorite flower is the hydrangea.  Specifically, the ‘Endless Summer’ variety that turn deep bluish-purple depending on the PH range of the soil.  The deeper the color, the more my soul is stirred to the point of tears.

Just south of the city of Charleston, South Carolina, there is a small island called Kiawah.  Just before crossing the bridge to get on the island, there was a farm and flower stand called Rosebanks.  For twenty-five years, this was our first stop when our family arrived for a week’s vacation.  Rosebanks was famous for something besides growing beautiful vegetables. Flowers.  Specifically, hydrangeas.  They had the largest grove of blue and purple hydrangeas beyond the parking lot that people had ever seen.  It had taken them decades to cultivate.  Every year, I would spend time walking through the grove, taking pictures, trying to capture the ‘heaven’ that stirred in my soul.  Here’s one of them. 

We moved to Georgia twenty-two years ago, just five hours from Charleston.  What grows beautifully in North Georgia?  Hydrangeas.  My dream was to take a circular flower bed in front of our house that would resemble Rosebanks.  Even if it was to a small extent.  Every year, I’ve planted another bush and I’ve watched them grow.  They gave a slow start and I held my breath, asking God to please breathe over them.  One year, none of them did well and they remained lifeless twigs in the ground with a few small leaves to let me know they were still alive. 

Ahh, but this year?  Amazing.  I went out last night with my pruners and stood in the middle of them.  It felt like vacation.  The blooms were so plentiful that I had no trouble amassing enough for a bouquet in no time at all.  A picture is worth a thousand words.

Some people go to the beach and watch the sunrise or sunset to feed their soul.  It is there they feel God’s presence.  Others go to the mountains and look out from a high peak.  Me?  I stand and walk in a grove of blue and purple.  When winter comes, I close my eyes and remember.  The memory is a powerful thing.  

The P.S. to the story is that Rosebanks closed.  On our last trip to South Carolina, we arrived at the place the flower market would have been and it was just a sandy lot.  My heart sank.  Then I looked behind it, expecting to see the hydrangeas.  That, too, was a sandy lot.  They had all been dug up.  I don’t mind telling you that I cried.  So now, more than ever, I’m committed to trying to reproduce that beyond our own front door.  If God continues to bless the soil, my prayers, and my limited experience growing things, I will continue to have bouquets like this in my kitchen for years to come.

Jesus is building each of us a ‘mansion’ in heaven.  He said so in John 14.  It will be customized to delight us, to reflect our uniqueness, the very things He celebrates in us even now.  The colors, rooms, and places to engage in our hobbies, will be reflected in how He designs and decorates it.  You will know you’ve reached my address when certain things are present.   There will be gray tabby kittens playing in the yard, a snow leopard sleeping on the porch, and a grove of purple hydrangeas lining the sidewalks leading to the front door.  Get close enough, and you’ll hear the grand piano.  You’ll also smell Swedish cardamom bread and coffee.  Come on in. We’ll share stories about the goodness of God and how He has faithfully led us safely home.  This is not the stuff of fiction.  This is deferred hope in the Promise Keeper.   

The Outcome Doesn’t Rest On My Shoulders

And God said to Abraham, “As for you, you shall keep my covenant, you and your offspring after you throughout their generations.”  Genesis 17:9  ESV

This was the plan.  Abraham was to keep God’s covenant and teach his offspring to do the same. That mandate can lead us to believe that if Abraham did the first, the faith of his offspring would be guaranteed.  However, we know from hindsight that didn’t happen. There were seasons when his descendants honored God and there were also periods when they descended into wickedness.  To further confuse, righteous kings in the Old Testament often raised children who did evil in the sight of God while the worst of kings produced children who turned out to be righteous.

It’s true today.  Children grow up in the same home, with the same parents, in the same spiritual environment; some choose to believe but others don’t.  Are children’s departure from faith the parent’s fault?  Not any more than it was Abraham’s fault when some of his offspring descended into wickedness.  Like him, we are to keep God’s covenant, train our children in the Word and teach, by example, what it means to live by faith. Some will choose God’s path but to our great disappointment, we may watch others reject everything. 

Unfortunately, it is a human tendency to carry the weight of our children and grandchildren’s choices.  We lament that we weren’t perfect parents, but God didn’t ask for perfect parents.  That dream died in the garden.  Instead, imperfect parents, loved and forgiven by Jesus, provide an environment that offers the greatest possibility of spiritual success. What each child does after that rests entirely on their shoulders. 

The road to destruction is wide and most travel on it, even our children.  The way of the cross is narrow, only a few find it, and we rejoice when it’s our children. It’s a beautiful thing when families worship together but how painful when the clash of spiritual kingdoms is felt at our own dinner tables. Only God’s grace and compassion can keep us tenderhearted, forgiving, doing whatever is necessary to fight on our knees for their souls.

Grace and comfort Lord, for all your children who need this message.  Amen

Favored With A Name

No longer shall your name be called Abram, but your name shall be Abraham, for I have made you the father of a multitude of nations.  Genesis 17:5  ESV

The one who chooses a name for another is usually the one in authority over them.  My name can be a source of joy or source of pain, depending on the relationship I had with the name-giver.  I am always struck by how deeply some hate their names.  It goes far beyond wincing at the mere mention of it, especially if they were named after a relative they didn’t like. 

Abram’s name, given at birth, means ‘my father is great.’  It speaks of the greatness of his prestigious ancestry. When God called him for spiritual greatness instead, He gave him a new name.  Abraham means ‘father of many nations.’  The focus shifted from his past to his future.

When someone is given a new name in scripture, they receive a new calling, and perhaps it will also be a call to something they are not, by nature.  For instance, the timid might be named ‘courageous’.  The insecure ~ ‘strong’. 

God only renames those who are great, right? If I believe that, I will flounder in my identity, not grasping who I am on the other side of regeneration and redemption.  I was re-named in Christ.  With that change came privileges and responsibilities that defined my future.  I am like Abraham after all.

Satan is a liar, out to convince me that I am not the person God says I am.  He hopes I’ll see myself as a fake and a failure.  But if I understand the new name I’ve been given, no accusation will stick.  He will not be able to undermine my confidence if I believe the truth, rehearse the truth, and stand in the truth.

Revelation 3:12 “I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name.”  

Like Abraham, my name is about my future.  Every time Satan looks at me, he remembers that I am engraved (tattooed) on the hands of God.  I’m branded for eternity and though the devil knows it, he’s counting on the fact that I don’t.  No chance.  My new name has been forged through forgiveness, not failure. My identity was made new, and my character change is ever in process.

When you wrote my adoption papers with your pen, Lord, it was with permanent ink.  Thank you. Amen

The Presumed Limits Of Old Age

When Abram was ninety-nine years old the Lord appeared to Abram and said to him, “I am God Almighty; walk before me, and be blameless, that I may make my covenant between me and you, and may multiply you greatly.” Genesis 17:1-2  ESV

Is anyone too old for God to do a new thing?  We often despair when, at mid-life, we feel that we have missed opportunities that can never be recovered.  The prime years of life (as we define them) are behind us and we believe we are too far down the road for God to bring about any kind of new beginning.  We call the decades we’ve lived up to this point ~ ‘the wasted years.’

It’s time to look back and consider Abram.  He was ninety-nine when the Lord appeared and reiterated the blessing and covenant He had made with him earlier.  God was about to change his name ~ a cataclysmic spiritual event that always precedes spiritual greatness.  He was anything but washed up.  Over the course of his life, Abram took great steps of faith but also matched those with great steps of failure.  He betrayed his wife before a foreign king, and then much later, took her handmaiden to produce an heir.  He made a mess of family relationships.  If anyone could have felt disqualified for future promises, it was Abram.

God is never stymied by the improbabilities and limits of old age.

In You, Jesus, all things are made new. I’ve not yet reached my prime.  It will be realized in eternal realms.  Amen

Can He Be Found?

So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.”  Genesis 16:13  ESV

Jesus revealed His identity to the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well.  God revealed His identity to Hagar at a well in the middle of the wilderness.  It was there, in the lives of these two women, that divine encounters occurred.  They were so powerful that they changed the course of both of their lives.

I read their stories and I can long to be in their shoes for those few moments.  But wait!  I can be. Weary children of God can still stop by a well, dip their cup, and experience God.

Who can’t relate to Hagar at some point in their life?  Sinned against.  Singled out as the object of someone’s wrath.  Fragile and seeking stability.  Closed off and cynical.  Wondering if God sees you.  Fearing you may be His forgotten child.

Run to the well.  Jesus is Living Water and the scriptures are the point of encounter.  Rest there.  Bring your aching heart and hope once more in the God who sees.  El Roi.  Hagar named the Lord “The One who sees me.”  In the deafening silence of her wilderness, there was One who saw, One who spoke, and One who made outrageous promises.

God loves to be experienced.  He promises that, for any who searches, He will be found.  Today, I make the scriptures my resting place and I won’t stop drinking until my thirst is quenched.  This has never been, nor will it ever be, a futile endeavor. 

I am Yours even when I’m in the wilderness.  Even though I may see nothing but sand, You see nothing but me.  Amen

Looking For A Way Out

The angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, the spring on the way to Shur. And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?” She said, “I am fleeing from my mistress Sarai.” The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress and submit to her.”  Genesis 16:7-9  ESV

Hagar was pregnant and alone in the middle of a wilderness. She had been mistreated by Sarai and unprotected by Abram.  In an intensely stressful situation, no one had handled it well.  Hagar reached her breaking point and decided she couldn’t take any more.  She ran away and headed toward Egypt, her home of origin.

God came to her in her perceived isolation.  He noticed her, addressed her with an audible voice, and gave her a life-defining moment.  The greatest choice lay in front of her, and it was presented when the stakes were the highest.  She could go home and ignore God’s command, or she could obey Him, return to Sarai, and risk more mistreatment.

Every one of us will experience a moment when we long to escape from somewhere.  We each have our limits.  Oppressive environments drive us to the edge of our ability to cope and we look for any way possible to flee those who mistreat us.  (And in the case of personal safety, fleeing is always the right thing to do!)  But outside of abuse, what if God asks us to stay?  What if bearing up well during harassment bears eternal rewards?  It’s possible.  God promises treasures in the darkness and, oh, how precious they are.  Wisdom, private tutoring, spiritual grit, keen discernment about good and evil.  These are but just a few.

Do you want to flee a job where treatment is unfair?  Wanting out of a marriage that grew cold long ago?   Are you a caregiver to an aging parent, one that doesn’t appreciate your sacrifices?  Maybe you’re dreaming of relinquishing responsibility and sending them to a nursing home.  The question is whether you and I are willing to stay, or go, depending on God’s revealed will to us.  Sometimes, God tells us it’s time to uproot.  Other times He tells us to endure for another season of time.  We can do either ~ by God’s grace ~ when we know He is personally with us.

What gave Hagar the emotional and spiritual fortitude to return to Abram and Sarai?  She had a personal encounter with God.  She learned that she was neither forgotten nor alone on her solitary journey.  God regarded her kindly, patiently, and with a desire to bless her.  Such favor made returning bearable.  She knew that she wouldn’t be alone, no matter what the outcome.  She heard God’s voice, felt His love, and could depend on every promise He made to her.  The God of Hagar is my God today.  No matter how desperate I am, He is right here offering an encounter that will fuel obedience.

Stay?  Go?  No matter what I want, I want what You want more.  Amen

Blameshifting

And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress. And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my servant to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the Lord judge between you and me!”  Genesis 16:4-5  ESV

Human nature is complicated in its sinfulness.  When someone is guilty, sometimes they don’t think they can bear it.  To feel better, they transfer the blame and lash out at someone as if the whole matter were their fault.  This is ‘blame-shifting.’

Sarai did it.  God made Sarai and Abram a promise of a child in their old age.  Sarai fainted as time progressed and believed God wasn’t good for it.  She took matters into her own hands and told Abram to sleep with her handmaid so there would be a child for her to hold in her arms.  Abram did what she asked.  When Hagar became pregnant, Sarai lashed out at Hagar, who only did what she was told.  She then lashed out at Abram (who was also guilty), yet Sarai was the one who had originally suggested their sinful detour.

It is a rare person who is willing to be humbled under the hand of God. There is a season where each of us is led to submit to God’s discipline for our choices.  The consequences unfold and they seem too much to bear.  Grace is poured out if we ask, and as we look to God for strength to endure, He gives a gift for our forbearance.  Wisdom!  He shows us what it is in each of us, specifically, that urged us to cave into the pressure to sin.  He reveals each step we took as we approached sin’s threshold.  He shows us the sin from His viewpoint and what harm it produced.  After a time, he starts shedding light on what redemption will look like.  One step at a time, He leads us out.  As forgiveness and restoration begin to take place, we are given a gift that will live in us forever, a firsthand experience of the nature and character of a just and forgiving God.

Only You, Lord, can lead me through the minefield of real guilt and false guilt.  Only You can help me suffer patiently for the wrongs I’ve done.  Restoration is mine but only as a reward for accepting Your hand of discipline.  I see there are no shortcuts.  Grace and comfort…you offer.   Amen