Author: Christine Wyrtzen

DO I LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES?

Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits. Then we will say that a fierce animal has devoured him, and we will see what will become of his dreams.” But when Reuben heard it, he rescued him out of their hands, saying, “Let us not take his life.” And Reuben said to them, “Shed no blood; throw him into this pit here in the wilderness, but do not lay a hand on him”—that he might rescue him out of their hand to restore him to his father. Genesis 37:20-22

There is a father who will take out his anger on his children today. He will cut them to shreds with a sharp rebuke and they will shrink and go into hiding. He’s done it before. He even saw the damage in their eyes but that did not deter him.

There is a middle-aged woman who will see dreaded circumstances repeat themselves. She will say, “Oh no, not again!” but she will make the same disastrous choice she made the last time. She does not see that God is giving her another chance in order to do something different.

Reuben, for all his faults, did make a different choice. (Although not one that was drastic enough.) He had sinned against his father many times throughout his youth and had experienced the stab in his own heart as he saw his father’s pain. The last offense he committed was sleeping with Bilhah, his father’s concubine. With this fresh in his memory, he will not agree to take the life of Joseph, his father’s favored son. He cannot bear the thought of Jacob’s grief yet again.

Do I really learn from my mistakes? The magical answer is ‘yes’. Who is going to repeatedly put their hand over an open flame? That is naïve. When bad behavior is generational, thoughts of stopping happen long after the deed is done. By default, we live as our fathers did.

Jesus told Nicodemus two critical things. 1.) ‘That which is born of the flesh is flesh.’ We are like whom we came from. I am a product of a mother and father and will possess not only their physical characteristics but their holy and sinful bents as well. I will not deviate without spiritual transformation. And, 2.) ‘That which is born of the Spirit is Spirit.’ I am to be like by new Father because I was born of His Word and His Spirit. So here’s the question that replays in my mind? Am I more like my new Father than my earthly parents? I should be if the new birth and the things of the Spirit are nurtured.

How does this relate to learning from my mistakes? When I repeat the foolishness of my youth, the Spirit of God calls to me. “Why are you doing that? You’re now my own daughter and I’m calling you out to be like me, not them.” Past mistakes are a mirror. I see the reflection of my former self against the reflection of my brother, Jesus, standing next to me. With just a glance, I walk away and have no appetite for the former things.

Forget my last name today, Lord. I am Christine – of God’s heart. Amen

HOW DO OTHERS EXPERIENCE ME?

Then he dreamed another dream and told it to his brothers and said, “Behold, I have dreamed another dream. Behold, the sun, the moon, and eleven stars were bowing down to me.” But when he told it to his father and to his brothers, his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have dreamed? Shall I and your mother and your brothers indeed come to bow ourselves to the ground before you?” Genesis 37:9-10

            Joseph shared his first dream with his brothers and it didn’t go well. They despised him for it. Didn’t he notice their reaction? Didn’t their rejection of him make an impact on his heart? Why in the world would he tell the second dream to this same unreceptive audience?   Perhaps in his enthusiasm, he just couldn’t help himself.

            When I’m excited about something, the need to tell someone is strong. I want those I love to share the joy with me. But I can share my jewels indiscriminately and experience the same kind of reaction Joseph got from his family. I repeatedly put myself in a setting where rejection is going to be the outcome. I do this for a couple of reasons. 1.) My need for approval is so strong that discretion goes out the door. And, 2.) I suffer from magical thinking. “This time they’ll listen!”

            Becoming a person of self-awareness is critical if I’m going to be successful in relationships. Do others receive my words and stories eagerly? Is my point of view welcomed? What is the track record with these people? If Joseph had considered what happened when he related his first dream, perhaps he would have stopped himself before sharing the second. Timing was everything but maybe the power of rejection urged him to speak prematurely. He needed them to value him as much as God did. I can be so much like Joseph. If I know something, I just have to say it.

            There are some things I believe passionately and I’m tempted to keep speaking them to the same group of people. So far, they haven’t listened. Truth be told, they may be rolling their eyes when I start my speech for the umpteenth time. They are closed to me and it would be wise for me to acknowledge that. A season of quietness and prayerfulness is needed. God needs to heal the rejection my soul suffers. He also needs to show me if my words are framed by a need to be right. That repels people. What I speak may be true but no one will hear it if it comes with ‘attitude’.

            No mission is more important than being God’s spokesman. Getting the message right is only half the challenge though. Getting the timing and attitude right will cause the words to roll off my tongue the way Jesus would speak them. There may still be rejection but at least I’ll know it’s the message they’re rejecting and not me.

            So, what do I do with my need to be liked, respected, validated and accepted? Prior to any speeches, I take my needs to the One who makes me whole in His presence.

Put a watch on my tongue until it’s time for me to speak. Amen

 

 

 

TAUNTING

He said to them, “Hear this dream that I have dreamed: Behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and behold, my sheaf arose and stood upright. And behold, your sheaves gathered around it and bowed down to my sheaf.” His brothers said to him, “Are you indeed to reign over us? Or are you indeed to rule over us?”   Genesis 37:6-8

         Rhetorical questions in scripture are posed by someone incredulous. Consider the brothers’ outrage? Time answered the question with more than a touch of irony. In Genesis 41:43, Pharaoh set Joseph in the chariot behind his and called out to the people, “You’ve got to be kidding, Joseph. You mean to tell us that you’re going to rule over us?” “Bow the knee!”

The Philistines laughed and posed their rhetorical questions to Saul about the absurdity of a small boy, unarmed, taking on their Goliath. Chief priests, Pharisees, and the likes of Pilate posed similar questions to Jesus about His claim to be a King.

All the questions follow a similar theme and are answered by a God who reminds us that He is not predictable and nothing is impossible when He is behind it. He uses the foolish, the uneducated, the weak, the stuttering, the outnumbered, the shamed, the forgotten, the underdog, and the smallest…..to glorify His name.

Let me bring this home to each of us today. Who is laughing at you? Perhaps you’ve heard rhetorical questions already today. “Who do you think you are!” When God’s child knows that he is called, loved, blessed, and empowered by the Spirit of God, such confidence offends most. It can even rub against the grain of those in the church.

There is always an irony. No one should be threatened. Each of us is called, loved, empowered, and invited into a holy confidence if we are willing to do the hard spiritual work that precedes it. Few love God enough to seek Him on that level though. Instead, spiritual laziness abounds. God’s children feel entitled to the blessing, like Joseph’s brothers, without having to engage in the spiritual disciplines.

For each who has been taunted today, know you are in good company. Do not let any man steal your confidence. Time will write your story and silence the voice of every accuser. Walk humbly with your God and that doesn’t mean apologetically.

Do not let accusers undo me. Amen

 

FAVORITISM IS COMPLICATED

Joseph, being seventeen years old, was pasturing the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was the son of his old age. And he made him a robe of many colors. Genesis 37:2-3

         Favoritism can be complicated. Take Jacob and his son, Joseph. Jacob didn’t make Joseph his favorite to spite other righteous sons. Many of the others had proven themselves to be troublemakers, bound up in foolishness. They had spurned their father’s ways and had left a trail of disappointment and hurt. Jacob didn’t spoil Joseph either by giving him a life of ease. He trained him to work hard and to do so with godly ethics.

         I’m not defending the fact that Jacob showed favoritism. It wasn’t right. He acted unwisely and set things up for the other sons to hate their brother. From a sibling’s perspective, favoritism never works out well.

         But from a parent’s perspective, the heart is a complicated thing. Continue reading “Favoritism Is Complicated” →

HANDLING YEARS OF REGRET

And Jacob came to his father Isaac at Mamre. Now the days of Isaac were 180 years. And Isaac breathed his last, and he died and was gathered to his people, old and full of days. And his sons Esau and Jacob buried him. Genesis 35:27-29

         I’ve been doing some Old Testament math. It’s easy for there to be half a century between chapters. And, don’t we all know how long and momentous just one year can be? It’s important to comprehend how much time has gone by since Jacob has seen his father, Isaac. I believe it’s over 100 years. Isaac was 40 when he married Rebeccah, 70 when Jacob stole the blessing, and 180 when his father died. Since Jacob left just after stealing his brother’s birthright, that would make the absence many decades long. I wonder if Jacob ever thought he’d see his father again. Perhaps he reasoned that this was the bitter consequence of his sin.

         God, in His mercy, allowed Isaac to live just until Jacob returned to his homeland. Esau was there too. Both brothers, long estranged, were there to say goodbye to their father and, together, bury him.

         God is merciful. God is redemptive. But there are losses because of my sin. They become a permanent ‘thorn in the flesh’ as, like Jacob, it takes a long time to find my way home. There is a lot of wrestling with God along the way, striving to be blessed again. How do I handle the loss of years? How do I not ‘grieve without hope’ for the things I suffer today that were done out of sinful intent and/or blind ignorance?

         Grace. My need for God to carry me through seasons of regret will bind me to Him like nothing else. In giving grace, He establishes His identity as ‘the Gracious One.’   My pain is transformed from bitter to bittersweet because experiencing God is such a powerful thing. It brings joy in the midst of my losses. Given enough time, I even become grateful for the shipwreck because it brought me to my Safe Harbor.

The word ‘gracious’ is one of my favorite words because You have given it wings in my life. Thank you! Amen

COPING WITH CHANGE

Rachel went into labor, and she had hard labor. And when her labor was at its hardest, the midwife said to her, “Do not fear, for you have another son.” And as her soul was departing (for she was dying), she called his name Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin. Genesis 35:16-18

         Too many changes in one’s life, all at once, put a person in a fragile place emotionally. It seems too much to process. When I initiate the changes, it’s easier. But most change is what happens to me and I have no control over it. Good changes are challenging enough but bad changes, one after another, bring the onset of grief.

         How do you handle change? Do you have a strategy? It’s easy to conceive man-made ones. 1.) Cope with today and don’t borrow tomorrow’s trouble. 2.) Lean on family and friends.   This is usually the best that we can initiate without God. If things are really hard, these won’t sustain. Inner stability will deteriorate.

         Jacob’s life, a life much longer than ours, had drastic changes. He left home and never saw his parent’s again. He had his dreams smashed repeatedly when Rachel’s father tricked him into staying beyond seven years. He lost the relationship with his brother. His name was changed to Israel. He perception of his sons took a downward turn. He even saw his own heart change as God chiseled away self-will and pride. On this day, Rachel, the love of his life, dies. All this happens on the very arrival to Bethel, the place where they would have settled for the remainder of their lives.

         There is a certain kind of personality that thrives on change but I contend that it’s change they control. No one likes an unexpected knock on the door that brings tragic news. I’ve had my share of seasons where everyday brought some kind of bad news. Difficult times never seem to last a year. Instead, five years, twelve years, even twenty-two years. I’m very familiar with how that looks since severe depression runs in my extended family. I’ve seen some break with reality. Feeling that I could also follow my genetic leanings, I knew that I must draw close to Jesus and follow His lead in developing spiritual strategies.

         What did Jesus do when he felt the pressures of his life? Got alone with His Father to pray. He reviewed the scriptures and God’s history. This is the prescription for any of us today who know that the only stability available to us is the foundation of our faith in God.

• God knows all things future. He’s not wringing His hands over this change in my life. Acts 8:26
• God already knows the outcome and, if I’m willing, will lead me safely to the other side. Numbers 23:19
• God is unchanging. Though my life shifts, He is always the same. I cling to Him and not temporal things. James 1:17
• God is still a righteous Judge even when it appears evil is winning. Psalms 7:11-13
• God is faithful and true.   Deut. 32:4

“It is well for us that, amidst all the variableness of life, there is One whom change cannot affect; One whose heart can never alter, and on whose brow mutability can make no furrows.” Spurgeon