Author: Christine Wyrtzen

Mordecai left the king’s presence wearing royal garments of blue and white, a large crown of gold and a purple robe of fine linen. And the city of Susa held a joyous celebration. Esther 8:15

Mordecai had once served the king faithfully in anonymity. Now, he is famous. He once wore sackcloth and ashes to plead with God for the lives of his people. Now, he wears royal garments, a crown, and a robe. Once, his grief was inconsolable. Now, he rejoices because the hand of God has spared calamity for him, his family, and his nation. He certainly does not fear passion. You agree?

I once lived life in such a way that I could play it safe emotionally. Apprehensive of intense emotions, I failed to grieve my losses. But in the process, I forfeited the ability to dance over my victories. My face always looked the same. Pleasant, distant, and unapproachable. I felt like an actress, crying a few tears when I sensed it was appropriate and feigning joy when an occasion called for it. My own heart was buried beneath years of pain and a decision made long ago not to explore disappointments and heartaches.

Stoicism is no way to live. God is not stoic and because I was created in His image, I was designed to follow His lead. When I depart from His design in any area of my life, I cease to be fully alive.

• He is angry over injustice and gives me permission to feel the same. I am just not allowed to sin in my anger.
• He weeps over His creation who perishes for lack of knowledge and hopes I’ll cry similar tears.
• He aches for connection with His children and encourages me to strain for a connection with my own flesh and blood.

The things that move Jesus are to move me. What is the reward for this kind of emotional engagement? The ability to rejoice, to sing, to dance. If I’m too afraid to enter the valleys, my heart will suffer dysfunction. When the good times come, and they will, I will find myself dispassionate and unresponsive.

I’ve learned that I need not fear anything with You living inside of me, even the passion of my own soul. You’ve awakened my heart to all that it can experience. Thank you, Lord. Amen.

Mordecai wrote in the name of King Xerxes, sealed the dispatches with the king’s signet ring, and sent them by mounted couriers, who rode fast horses especially bred for the king. Esther 8:10

Once upon a time there was a ring ~ a royal ring that was meant to adorn someone’s hand. Anyone who wore it enjoyed the power to affect many people’s lives. They could write laws, then dip the ring in wax and mark the scroll with the royal seal. The law had to be obeyed because of the power behind the ring.

There once was an evil man named Haman ~ a man who dreamed of wearing the ring and enjoying the privileges it offered.

He did not have a good heart and many people were frightened at the thought that someone like him might be in power over them. Nonetheless, he was able to rise to power. His speech was as smooth as butter. His suggestions charmed many who listened. Before long, he was promoted to the royal court and the ring was put on his finger. Instead of using his power for good, he devised evil schemes to hurt good people. He thought he would reign forever but evil never ultimately wins. What he plotted in secret was made known to the people. He had to trade in his robe of honor for rags of shame.

There once was a good man named Mordecai ~ a man who never dreamed of power and would have declared himself unqualified to have it.

Instead, he loved to adore his Creator who was all-powerful. His heart was good because of who he worshiped. A lifetime of prayers molded his character. Good men and evil men can never live in harmony. Their gods collide. So, Haman hated Mordecai and tried to have him hanged. The God of Mordecai prevailed and before you could blink, the tide had turned. Haman’s head was covered and he was hanged. Mordecai was given the royal ring. Now, he could write laws. And he did! The fastest horses carried his words to provinces far and near. The thundering of horses could be heard across the land. The people shook at the sound until they read the laws of this new ruler. Then they rejoiced. Mordecai saved the lives of innocent men, women and children. Everyone learned a lesson that day. A ruler who worships God with his heart, with his soul, and with his mind ~ can be trusted.

The king took off his signet ring, which he had reclaimed from Haman, and presented it to Mordecai. Esther 8:2

Mordecai had never enjoyed a place of honor. He had been born a Jew during a time when it wasn’t popular to be one of God’s people. He had lived his life quietly, learning to be discreet and unassuming. Though he was Esther’s cousin and adopted father, he never made his relationship to the queen public knowledge. I think it’s safe to say that he never expected advancement in this lifetime.

That’s true for so many of us. Life on earth is difficult. Some rewards can only be counted on when we enter into eternal rest. Nonetheless, sometimes God delivers us early. We are moved out of the wilderness into a spacious place, full of blessing. Life turns a corner on a day that begins like all the days prior.

I have known such deliverance. I spent four decades in joyless faith. Though most would have seen me as blessed, my internal world was barren. My mindset was resigned. I was a performer, doing my best to appear to live a meaningful life while feeling disconnected from the heart of my Father. Life slowly unraveled until I lay spent, wondering how I would face the last leg of my journey here. God moved. He opened my eyes to the possibility of another way of life. As I became willing to present myself to Him as a clean slate upon which He could write, I began to glimpse a future I thought impossible to attain. The oppressive thoughts and beliefs I held about myself, God, and others, were re-written by the Holy Spirit as my eyes were opened to the scriptures. God brought streams to my desert.

God promises to do something new, if not in our circumstances, then certainly in our spirit. What starts as a normal day need not be routine. We are designed to enjoy internal blessing. We do not need to dread mornings any longer. They are not the doorway to another day in drudgery. Rather, they are a gateway into the garden of new revelation.

You promise to do a new thing in me. Open my eyes to it. I welcome the refreshing rains of Your Spirit. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

But Haman, realizing that the king had already decided his fate, stayed behind to beg Queen Esther for his life. Esther 7:6

If Haman had feared God and governed his life by God’s principles, he never would have been in this humiliating position. He would have loved his neighbor as he loved himself. He would have prayed for his enemies instead of plotting to kill them. Esther would have been his friend, not his foe. Mordecai would have been admired for his integrity instead of despised. He would have been content to serve, not be served.

Those we mis-treat today might just be the ones who have the power to spare our lives tomorrow. Parents who ignore their child’s needs often find themselves abandoned to a nursing home at the end of their lives.

I recall a line from a movie where a mother in her 80’s asked her son in the heat of an argument, “Who taught you to be this cruel?”

He replied, “You did, mother. You did.” The answer shocked her and she had no comeback.

May I be kind to others today, not because my love is self-serving and because I suffer from a paranoia that tells me tomorrow I may need those very people. May the grace of Jesus spill out effortlessly onto others. May kindness mark my lifestyle simply because the Spirit is so large in me that His influence reigns. If I have to behave my way into loving others, that is certainly better than choosing to be selfish but there is a better way. When I become God- obsessed (instead of self-obsessed), then the Spirit who lives in my spirit will rule the rest of my being. I will experience the daily reality that ‘I am a channel through whom God lives’. That phrase will no longer be an abstract cliche, tossed around in conversations to make me look spiritual. In fact, I won’t even have to talk about it. I will be a living example of Romans 12:1 ~ a life that is a living sacrifice unto God.

I need your help, Lord. My love for others is so often self-serving. Remembering how you loved people shows me my own darkened heart in need of Your mercy. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

King Xerxes asked Queen Esther, “Who is he? Where is the man who has dared to do such a thing?” Esther said, “The adversary and enemy is this vile man Haman.” Esther 7:5-6

Esther revealed to the king that that there was a plot to take her life. The king was incredulous. “Who is this man that would do such a thing?” he asked. He failed to see that he was really the one who consented to the bloody edict against the Jewish people. Esther might have said, ”You are the man!” but she never addressed his guilt. Instead, she pointed to the one who deceived the king in the first place.

Perhaps you’ve heard it said that ‘the thing’ in another person which makes you the angriest might also be your own greatest weakness. No wonder Jesus warned us about the perils of judging others without looking first into our own hearts. “Do not judge lest you be judged,” Jesus said. In Eugene Peterson’s, The Message, it reads like this:

Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, and criticize their faults unless, of course, you want the same treatment. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own.

I long misunderstood the ‘judge not’ principle. I concluded that I should never judge but that’s not true. I am to be a fruit inspector so as to be wise about making friendships, business partners, picking a spouse, and appointing people to levels of leadership. But it’s easy to forget the bigger context of this principle in the verses that come before and after. The risk of judging others without first examining myself is that my judgements will come back on my head.

So, how am I to live safely? I expose my heart, daily, to the light of God’s Word and make personal confessions to the Spirit inside. As I become aware of my own sin, I repent and submit to change by the power of the Spirit. Only then will I wisely and safely discern/judge the fruits of another. I remember the encouragement to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. i.e. Making judgements with a clean heart.

Search me, O God, and know my heart. I cannot afford to have a blind spot. Let the wisdom I perceive about others start with wisdom You reveal to me about myself! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

King Xerxes asked Queen Esther, “Who is he? Where is the man who has dared to do such a thing?” Esther said, “The adversary and enemy is this vile Haman.” Esther 7:5-6

King Xerxes was probably expecting to hear Esther reveal the name of a stranger, or at the very worst, the name of an acquaintance far removed from his royal court. I’m sure he wasn’t ready to hear the name of a friend and his most trusted advisor. The crime Haman committed against the Jews was unthinkable in itself, but the personal betrayal he committed against the King was pure mutiny.

Betrayal is always personal. Haman was exposed at Esther’s private dinner party. Nearly 800 years later, Judas was exposed at a similar private dinner engagement in an upper room with his closest friends. When Jesus suggested that one in the room would betray Him, the group was incredulous. It was beyond their ability to grasp that one so close to them and to Jesus could do such a thing. They were among their most cherished friends.
The more intimate the relationship, the more severe the sense of betrayal. Seeing the true colors of someone close to me can be a life-defining moment. I might forever divide my life into two parts ~ ‘before I knew the truth’ and ‘after I knew the truth.’ Innocence is corrupted. Love and loyalty lay in ruins. Trust is in ashes.

I do not survive a broken heart without the graciousness of Jesus’ heart toward me. It is a momentary grace, too. He does not give wings for tomorrow’s burden ~ today. Betrayal ushers in a mountain of hurt and I can wonder how I’ll cope as each day unfolds. I must take a day at a time, realizing that my Father’s ‘manna of grace’ is available everyday as I need it. Just as God helped His Son not only survive, but also forgive the ones who rejected Him, so He will supernaturally empower me to do the same. Those who commit such treacherous acts will never enjoy having the last word. Especially those who were responsible for the death of Jesus.

Your death, Jesus, proves to me that good can come out evil. Those who betrayed You thought they won, but they only positioned you on a cross that would bring about the redemption of mankind. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Then Queen Esther answered, “If I have found favor with you, O king, grant me my life. And spare my people–this is my request. For I and my people have been sold for destruction and slaughter and annihilation. If we had merely been sold as male and female slaves, I would have kept quiet. Esther 7: 3-4

Esther is the queen. Of all in the kingdom, there is no one who could enjoy more privilege. A life of ease is within her grasp. She can arrange her life any way she wishes for the most part. She has access to an unlimited array of servants, the best cuisine, the tailored clothing, and plush living quarters. But Esther has not been spoiled. She is in touch with her roots. Jewish history is in her blood. Slavery, suffering, and even death by the sword have defined her ancestry. She does not expect better. Eternity lives in her heart and she has adjusted her expectations of life on earth. Adversity would not take her by surprise. She only pleads for her life.

Just this week, a family member was relating to me how she was going to have to fire an employee. Early on, this person had showed great promise in her ability but when a small amount of favor was shown to her, favor caused her to morph into an entitled woman who blurred authority lines. She flaunted her favor with others and started giving orders. She simply forgot her place.

Esther never forgot her origins and she knew her place, even though queen. She wore humility as a cloak and did not have expectations of comfort, safety, love, and fairness. If God wasn’t going to deliver her and her people, she wouldn’t think of being indignant. She would accept what came and grieve her losses.

Oftentimes, I direct my search for happiness toward this fallen world. The truth is ~ life here will never be perfect. There will be moments here and there that bear the hint of an eternity to come (and I can enjoy them as premature gifts) but as soon as I wrap my arms too tightly around them and feel entitled to perfection, I am in trouble. Life here is characterized by joy and by suffering. When I really internalize that heaven is my home, happiness here can be celebrated and suffering expected. I endeavor to live the rich emotional life Jesus modeled here on earth. He could party – and He could grieve. Neither ends of the spectrum were squelched.

I am a citizen of God’s kingdom. I live with deferred hope. That is enough to enable me to live here now with joy and with sadness. Glorification is on the distant horizon.

Jesus was a King, yet He did not look for an earthly throne. I follow Him and adjust my expectations. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The king again asked, “Queen Esther, what is your petition? It will be given you.” Then Queen Esther answered, “If I have found favor with you, grant me my life–this is my petition. And spare my people–this is my request. Esther 7:2-3

I find this conversation between this king and queen preposterous. They are married yet their lack of intimacy is evident. Esther has been in travail for several weeks. The king is so caught up in the affairs of his kingdom that he is clueless as to the suffering of his wife. When she asks him to spare her life, he is shocked.

Unfortunately, this can be a picture of many intimate relationships. The ones who should notice that our burden is too heavy are often the last ones to see the sign. The intimacy that should mark our connection is mocked.

Today, I may be so consumed with my world that I fail to notice what threatens to destroy the life of someone I love. The signs are probably there if I look. While they may be subtle (for few wear their despair openly on their sleeve), I should be connected to their heart in such a way as to discern the evidence. A face that reveals lack of sleep. Staring off into space. A lifeless spirit. Hibernation from others. Veiled answers to my questions. May I be a catalyst to bring their pain out in to the open before it’s too late.

The Spirit of God, the One who is omniscient about those I love, lives in me. Therefore, discernment and wisdom should be my hallmarks. The Spirit was sent to be a comforter and will often use my hands to accomplish His mission. His knowledge of others is perfect and complete. I need only be still long enough to tap into His revelation. He will show me how to pray, when to reach out, and even what words to use to draw out their admission of need. May “clueless” never characterize my rapport with someone who lives right under my nose.

Is someone I love wondering how to make it through today? Show me. I will be Your instrument of intervention. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

But Haman rushed home, with his head covered in grief, and told Zeresh his wife everything that had happened to him. She said to him, “Since Mordecai, before whom your downfall has started, is of Jewish origin, you cannot stand against him–you will surely come to ruin!” Esther 6:12-13

I am thinking about the confusion Haman’s wife must be feeling. She has seen her husband rise to power. She has heard him tell of his advancement in his own words. You know his narrative was full of self-aggrandizement! How could she have known his version was twisted? She didn’t have access to the king’s court to see her husband manipulate people and posture conversations. Just at a time when she thought it was safe to celebrate the security of their future, she was brought face to the face with the real man to whom she was married. The one whom she thought mighty now looks like a fool.

Seeing a hero fall off of his pedestal can be devastating. I have lived long enough to be surprised by people. On many occasions, those that I admired, those that seemed inoculated from moral failure because of their stature, fell hard. First, there was shock. Then, insecurity spread. I ended up asking myself, “If this person fell, how do I stand a chance of staying faithful to God? And, who can I trust to lead me?”

Perhaps Zeresh, with her proximity to Haman, knew his true character. I’m sure there were warning signs if she had any measure of discernment. Sometimes though, the dysfunction in a personal relationship can appear to work. It’s normalized over time.. Because another’s weakness can also serve our own, we’re willing to turn a blind eye to the possibility of collapse.

If I see another as mighty today, I am pulled up short. Only God is all-powerful. Each person has his vulnerabilities. Are they open enough to lay them down at the feet of Jesus? If so, grace will conquer. If not, then I review again that God instituted a world of sowing and reaping. When seeds of sin are sown, there will be dire consequences. It’s just a matter of time. Either there will be a Mordecai who rises to power wearing a cloak of humility, or there will be a Haman who trades honor for disgrace.

Today, I pray for each person I admire. And, I ask You to show me my blind spots that could lead me to a fall. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

So Haman got the robe and the horse. He robed Mordecai, and led him on horseback through the city streets, proclaiming before him, “This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!” Esther 6:11

It is easy to imagine Haman’s shame and allow this part of the story to capture my attention. I love to see justice done, don’t you? I relish the thought that Haman was forced to provide the honor he imagined for himself to the man he hated most.

This morning however, my thoughts are directed to Mordecai. His lack of malice astounds me, both when he was in subjection to Haman’s position, and again, when he was honored over him. I consider two ways he displayed humility.
• When he refused to bow down to Haman at the king’s gate, he didn’t disrespect the man. He never expressed hatred toward him. He simply stated that the object of his worship was the God of Israel. Haman was the one who called Mordecai his enemy.
• When Mordecai was exalted, put on a horse, and then paraded through the city streets by the man who had tried to ruin him, he didn’t give Haman a speech. “See where evil got you? God saw your evil deeds and now I am the one being honored. Justice has been done.” No, he receives his honor with humility and does not feed malice.

Periods of humiliation can be dangerous breeding grounds for revenge. If I fail to handle humiliation as Jesus did, seeing that all my days have unfolded according to the wisdom and sovereignty of God, then I will be marking time until I am vindicated. If my disgrace ends and others see that they were wrong, how will I respond? Will I trample them underfoot and forever remind them of their offense? At that point, my Christianity puts me under great stress.

I remember Jesus’ urging to love my enemies. I despair that this is simply impossible in the flesh but He knows that. It is only when I come to the end of myself that the Spirit of God can undertake His most magnificent works of grace. Humility, even in victory, is not natural. It is supernatural.

It’s easy for me to love those who love me. I don’t need You for that! I’m not very loving toward those who take issue with me. I will want revenge without submitting to Your Spirit, who waits to work through me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.