While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could rescue him from death.  Hebrews 5:7

How many people communicate their thoughts and feelings without filtering themselves first? How many can say what hurts, what scares them, what makes them angry, and know they will not be mishandled? Precious few. To be completely honest and completely safe at the same time is a rare gift.

Scripture uses the phrase pour out your soul, and I love how physical that sounds. It is not measured nor is it neat and tidy. It is tipping the heart and letting everything spill out before God. Jesus did this in Gethsemane. He cried, pleaded, and wept. He told His Father plainly that He did not want what was coming. There was no performance in His prayer, only raw truth.

And yet we often feel the need to edit ourselves with God. Anger gets softened into disappointment. Fear becomes mild concern. Feelings of abandonment are covered up with less desperate language. But God already knows what’s underneath the careful wording. He hurts for us when we present a polished version of what He already sees in full.

What if our prayer lives progressed to a place where our souls finally stopped managing themselves? What if we consistently poured out the whole contents of our heart, the grief, resentment, dread, confusion, even our longings, and trusted that perfect Love will hold all of it without turning away?

Hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:5

Finally, I am riveted by the beauty of two things: 1.) Running to Abba, tipping my heart toward Him, and pouring out everything I have been swallowing. And, 2.) Envisioning what will happen on the other side of surrender when Abba pours Himself back into the emptied places, flooding my heart with His love through the Holy Spirit.

Lord, I pour out what I’ve been holding in. Pour into me what will hold me steady. Your love. Your grace. Your compassion. Amen