For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness for sinful flesh and for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Romans 8:3-4
I grew up in a home with many unspoken expectations. The rules were rarely announced. You learned them by sensing tension, reading disapproval, and noticing what caused a parent’s stern look. My sister and I were expected to behave like little adults.
No running in the house.
No loud voices.
No leaving water spots on shower walls.
Minimal water usage when you wash dishes.
No asking to use the restroom while visiting someone.
That kind of upbringing leaves its mark. I desire for things to be ordered and calm. Some of that no doubt made its way into my parenting. Grace has softened me over the years, and grandchildren have given me a second go-around.
What I’ve come to understand is this ~ God did not reveal the Law to torment. Nor to be cruel. It was to be clear. I am not righteous and can not achieve it, no matter how hard I try. The Law was an act of mercy. It led me to the end of myself. It showed me that striving is useless. I needed a Savior.
Striving is no longer a way of life. Grace is not a theory; it is the atmosphere of abundant life. I no longer live under the old ache of failure. And that is the deepest mercy of all. In Christ, the ache of never measuring up is history. I no longer stand before God as a woman who disappoints, but as one who is beloved.
Oh, Jesus, because of You, I no longer have to bear the heaviness of inadequacy. Thank you. Amen.
christinewyrtzen.com 
This message writes my story – it is so similar to what you have said Christine. Perfectionism has always been my goal. I would hide it behind, “God deserves my perfection, my excellence.” My moniker was,”Miss Perfect.” I was actually proud of that. (Well we know what happens with pride….the fall). Finally I realized the spiritual meaning of perfection. It’s not no mistakes…it’s “completeness.” I complete my part and God makes up all the difference. If it’s in His will, He’ll never start what He doesn’t complete. Thank God for His grace and mercy.
Love absolutely love your words:
“It’s still easy for me to be perfectionistic, savoring perfect order, and prizing high standards. A good amount of this leaked into my child raising. (Thankfully, grandchildren give you another go-around.)”