For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit.  I Thess. 2:3

THE MESSAGE says it well.  “God tested us thoroughly to make sure we were qualified to be trusted with this Message. Be assured that when we speak to you, we’re not after crowd approval—only God’s approval. Since we’ve been put through that battery of tests, you’re guaranteed that both we and the Message are free of error, mixed motives, or hidden agendas.”

It takes a while for ‘self’ to be conquered.  When I was young, God’s will was cobwebbed with what I wanted for myself.  I pursued my dreams with a vengeance, believing that God was behind them, but eventually I began to hit one brick wall after another.  I worked double-time to demolish the mountain of bricks.  God’s will was in there somewhere, but I couldn’t separate the difference between His plan and mine. I grew depressed and became disillusioned with God; eventually, disliking my ministry.  Post-traumatic stress visited me before nearly every event.

Crashing and burning was the best thing that could have happened to me in the 90’s.  I finally died to self, and then an amazing thing happened.  I was surrounded by deafening silence.  In the stillness, I heard God’s voice.  With frenetic activity halted and my own inner voice silenced, I was able to understand how I had been driven by mixed motives and hidden agendas.  It took three years.

Because of God’s mercy, I was raised up out of the same ashes that God had burned in the fires of testing.  He was a recycling expert, using my foolishness and sin to invent something new.  God crafted a new language on my tongue; a message birthed out of the healing of my deepest shame.

People could tell and began to relax under its influence; their spirits bearing witness with God’s Spirit that what they were hearing was void of pretense.  The spiritually intuitive hearers always know.

Lord, this ministry is continually birthed in our relationship with each other.  I get it!  Amen