Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God (ElEmunah), keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. Deuteronomy 7:9

I lived many days where prayers were casual. “Bless our family today and help us love and serve you more!” I even prayed this while driving, filing papers, or eating my morning yogurt. But I learned in my thirties that there are other kinds of prayer. There’s the ‘911’ kind that Jacob prayed before Esau came to meet him with 400 armed men. Don’t we also fall to our knees when we’re fighting for our lives?

The door jam in our house that borders our guest room has been gripped and wet with tears on many, many occasions. Getting up in the night to pray, I have laid my head against it, held on to the frame, and pleaded with God to remember His covenant with our family. Urgency has been the backdrop of these prayers. They are respectful prayers but not necessarily polite, with perfectly crafted language. Desperate prayers spill out of desperation, and they can be incoherent. That’s okay.

It is not arrogant to come humbly before God and remind Him of His promises, to take hold of the hem of His garment and plead for your life. It is often the equivalent of a child saying to his father, “But you said!”  My relationship with Him is one where I may wrestle over my Canaan. I’m usually trying to get to the bottom of my own angst and inaccurate perceptions of His character. But even in the midst of messy emotions, I know that God is a Covenant Maker and does not make promises begrudgingly.

You delight in Your covenant relationship with me. I am in awe. Amen