Clutching What I Think I Need To Protect

So ten of Joseph’s brothers went down to buy grain in Egypt. But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph’s brother, with his brothers, for he feared that harm might happen to him. Genesis 42:3-4

I wonder what God felt as He watched Jacob’s sons, all except one, leave for Egypt. He saw them pack for the long journey. He saw Jacob clutch Benjamin protectively and heard him declare that this child would not go with them. He read the thoughts in this old father’s heart. “I entrusted one of my favorite sons of Rachel to you on another long journey and I never saw him again. You’re not taking Benjamin, too!” God saw this father’s inability to entrust the one who was precious into His care. Though the loss of Joseph had happened two decades earlier, the wound still felt like yesterday.

Jacob had not gotten over his sons’ carelessness with their younger brother. He had nursed the hurt and distrust had grown with the years. Ultimately though, his issue was not with his sons but with God. He could not see, though he would see shortly, that God is trustworthy and does all things well. For now, Jacob overprotected Benjamin and trusted no one, not even the God he’d given his life to.

What wound from the past are you hanging on to?  What wound still defines you to the point where you over-correct today’s decisions based on yesterday’s heartbreak? Your ‘Benjamin’ is still in your clutches.

We know how the story of Joseph ends. We know that God oversees, with great care and vengeance, the lives of Joseph and Benjamin. Can we not ask for the courage to stop clutching what we feel we need to protect? Perhaps today we can stop playing God. It’s time to set free what we have entrapped.  God has always been worthy of our trust.

Help us pry our fingers loose. Amen

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