What I Don’t Address When I’m 40!

Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him.  Genesis 4:8  ESV

What did Cain speak to Abel?  They had words ‘in the field’ which means they were away from home with no parental restraints. Whatever the nature of their conversation, I’m sure it was not the first time hostile words had ever been spoken.  One does not murder a brother without a history of conflict.

Cain’s conscience had long been seared by the little choices he had made along the way.  Jealousy didn’t start with this particular argument.  Had Adam and Eve seen it when the boys were small?  Just because it ended in murder doesn’t mean they had turned a blind eye to Cain’s animosity for his brother.  Wickedness is often bound up in the heart of a child and good parents grieve when they see it.  Good training doesn’t always guarantee a changed heart.  

God gives me opportunities throughout mid-life to deal with issues I never dealt with as a child or as a young woman.  He re-parents all areas that were stunted.  He knows that each seed of unrighteousness that I ignore will be a seed that grows over time.  Whatever issue I turned a blind eye to at 40 will be exacerbated by the time I’m 80.  If I privately nursed my fears for a lifetime, I will be known as a fearful person in the senior years of my life.  Anxiety won’t be concealed because issues only intensify with time.

But ah, so does righteousness.  Whatever I choose to nurture will be multiplied.  Cain’s seeds of jealousy evolved into a murderous rage.  A holy simpatico could have flowered into a righteous alliance.  There’s nothing more beautiful than when one brother gives his life for the other.  How stunning are God’s ways.  How ugly is the fruit of sin!.

Make me holy.  Hide nothing from me when You search my heart.  Amen

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