Why Do We Hurt The Ones We Love?

The insolent smear me with lies; their heart is unfeeling like fat.  Psalm 119: 69, 70

I often wonder how people can do what they do.  (That includes me when I sin.)   Here, at least in one instance, the answer is given.  The sin ~ someone concocted a series of lies about another person for personal payoff.   The cause ~ their heart was fattened by pleasure over time and ceased to feel remorse over the pain they caused.

Consider a rebellious child who acts out.  Others can give into him to stop the tantrums.  But without discipline, he will repeat the tantrums until they become a way of life.  The pleasure he feels when he gets what he wants will become his drug of choice and he will cease to regret the acts he commits in favor of feeling good.  Without Jesus, there will be no remorse.

If you’ve suffered at the hands of one who never said “I’m sorry,” you may have asked the question, “How could this person do this to me and not even feel badly that they hurt me?”  This scripture answers the question.  The pleasure they got by sinning against you numbed their conscience. They may have seen your tears, heard your pain expressed, but shrugged their shoulders.  You just couldn’t understand such coldness of heart.

God is our instructor today.  An unfeeling heart develops over time, never overnight.  It belongs to the person who has been fattened by the pleasures of his choices, even choices that have caused pain to someone he claims to love.

Only God can transform the heart of a sinner.  Only God can comfort the victims.  The sinner must love Jesus more than the payoff of self-gratification and the victim must love Jesus more than taking revenge.

Jesus, you knew the hearts of men.  You were not deceived.  Teach me to look beyond their behavior to the spiritual cause.  I need to pray for others’ spiritual disease instead of just asking you to stop their behavior.  Spirit, show me how to pray.  Amen



2 thoughts on “Why Do We Hurt The Ones We Love?

  1. I have learned and still learning to pray for everyone. Sometimes I tell myself i’m not going to pray for anyone but my household but I know that’s not right.My husband abandoned me and our 2 children. I was going to church and praying,fasting,studying the bible doing what God told me to do and the enemy still divided our house. Our family has been hurt but we are holding strong together. God is our refuge and our help. Salvation is free because Jesus paid that debt. We are to pray for one another not destroy one another. I have been hurt continually but I know that there is greatness for us. I do my best not to be one of the haters so I have to empty out but it is hard for me to let people into my life. I’m asking for prayer because we do need prayer. I love the Lord and I believe that he loves us. I believe God wants families to be restored not just ours. Their has been too much trickery by satan destroying but his time is at hand. I ask God to either have his way in my exhusband or to send me the right one that will be there for us(me and my children). I hope this can help someone else, it has helped me even though there is so much more I could say but my Father knows all and He is healing. May GOD bless. Thank you for this post.

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