Talking To Family About Family

  Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.
Psalm 34:13  

How many marriages implode because couples can’t talk honestly about their parents? It’s hard to ‘leave and cleave’. Childhoods are sacred unless there has been unhappiness we’re anxious to leave behind.


There comes a point in every person’s life when God calls us to see the truth about our family. I am to embrace the good, acknowledge the bad, and cling to God for grace as I grieve and make different choices. I am to love God more than my ancestors and love truth more than I love the ‘family way of doing things’. If everybody did this, it would be easier but only a minority face the truth of their families and are willing to live as God’s son or daughter. They risk being the only one in their families who are willing to be sanctified, ‘set apart’, from everyone else.

There is an unwise way to talk to our spouses about their parents. It’s when past hurts affect my tone.  Legitimate complaints are disregarded because my words are vicious. Every conversation that exposes ungodliness in family needs a lot of prayer beforehand. You know the truth of the phrase, ‘Blood is thicker than water.’ It’s hard to hear someone else, even a spouse, talk about my parents and siblings and not immediately think, ‘How dare you!’

Few scriptures are more well known that this one. “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” Never is this more true than when I see my family as God sees them. When I embrace the truth of my origins, endless spiritual possibilities open up before me.

How long it took for me to see the faults of the family I love; even longer to see my own faults. Thank you for not giving up and continuing to bring the truth before my eyes. Amen


One thought on “Talking To Family About Family

  1. To further Christine’s sage and humbling words, what also sticks out in my mind reading are these two things Jesus taught us his Word. In Mark 3:31-35, ( paraphrased), Jesus said. ” Those that do the Will of The Father are our true mothers, brothers and sisters.”
    Personally, I find the world tries to define ” family and values. “But our citizenship is not of this world.”Philippians 3:20.
    Secondly, in the NLT version in Luke 9:57-62, I would encourage the Body to refresh their minds on what Jesus outlined about ties to our family and” our relationship/ responsibility to Him. In verse 59, Jesus simply says, “Come follow me.”
    Further …In verse 60, Jesus continued, bluntly and ” soberly” as God calls us to be , “Let the spiritually dead bury their own dead. “You’re duty “,( emphasis mine), “is to go and preach the Kingdom of God .”
    But rather than just obey, we sometimes reason and follow traditional standards rather than just say, ” Yes Lord .”
    Continuing, The Lord preciously left us with these thoughts as to “how ” deal/ be continuing in verse 62:
    ” But Jesus (said) , “Anyone who puts a hand to the plough and then looks back is not fit for the kingdom of God. “Period.

    Do we look back?

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