Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer! Psalm 4:1
When I’m in trouble and need someone to help me, I tend to remember the last time I was in distress and who it is God sent to show me compassion and kindness. The memory of it makes my heart long for it to happen again. You’ve heard women say to one another, “When I’m sick, I just want my mother.” Whether our mother is still living or not, the desire for her to care for us like she once did is so real that it can leave us aching. No matter how old we are, if we had a good relationship with our mother, we wish she would always come when we need her.
This is what David is feeling in this prayer to God. He begs for God to answer him and come to him like He did the last time David was in distress. David remembers the power of God’s arrival and what it feels like to experience divine support. While the memory is life giving, it doesn’t erase the need for Him to come again with another miracle.
I can’t live on yesterday’s memories. While they may inspire me and build my faith, my need for God will accompany me until eternity. Some days I’m more in touch with this urgency. I realize that I’m not meant to, nor can I, live on yesterday’s manna. When the sun comes up, I will always need to be His child. I will always need a Father. I will always be small. I will always need reminders that He is bigger than my storms. I will always come to the end of myself. I will always need all that He is to come to my rescue.
What keeps God coming time after time? His gracious heart. If He ever tires of hearing distress calls, I’ll be in trouble. Unlike human beings, he is anxious for me to need Him. In earthly relationships, we’re always aware of putting too much pressure on a relationship. We’re aware that it’s wise to assess the boundaries. But with God, the more I desire Him, the better he likes it. There’s no such thing as ‘too needy’.
When any of us face an ongoing struggle, the kind that spans years, we have dreary days when God speaks into our discouragement to give us the fuel to make it another 24 hours. The next day, however, brings a new battle. Though I didn’t plan an emotional and spiritual descent, I quickly find myself yet again on the edges of faith and unbelief. I realize that unless the Holy Spirit rises up to help me in my weakness, I will not stand tall with my face against the wind.
Lord, I will always need You. I’m so glad this doesn’t scare You but excites You. You are made perfect in my weakness. In Jesus’ name, Amen