WHEN BELIEVING HURTS
He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. Romans 4:19
Faith doesn’t exist if I can possibly manufacture an answer to my problem. Faith begins when a situation is absolutely hopeless. There appears to be no solution. God says He can heal it, fix it, reform it – yet I can not see how. At that point, I choose to believe. But believing hurts because I must invest my heart when it feels like suicide.
Abraham was probably felt exhilarated when he received the promise of a child. High on spiritual adrenalin, he was full of faith. When faith meets the real world and the thrill of hearing from God is dulled by life, it begins to be tested. The miracle of Abraham’s story, and why God blessed him so, was that his faith did not weaken when he considered the odds against he and Sarah. They had always been barren. They were old. They had never known anyone their age who had conceived. It seemed preposterous to believe they could be the first.
Faith hurts ~ because it requires me to believe God though I have sunk comfortably into disbelief. I grew complacent when I threw my hands up and finally gave up. It was a relief not to trust anymore, to let my hope die. Faith challenges me to repent of that, to open my heart to God and the promise of change.
“Open my heart again?” you ask. “No way! I’m doing that again.” But what if our faith could be the catalyst to the greatest breakthrough in our lives? Our faith is being tested and this is the moment to pass, not fail. God promised. God is mighty. God can deliver. When things are the bleakest, faith has a starting place.
When there is no proof that faith is rational, that’s when I cling all the more to it. Let Abraham’s faith be mine today in all the impossible places. Amen
Journal Question: When was the last time God spoke to you about the situation where your faith is failing? What word were you standing on? Faith comes by hearing – and hearing by the Word of God. Ask God to open your heart to new scriptures that will confirm, and bolster, the belief that is fragile.