WHEN I KEEP LOOKING BEHIND ME
But Lot’s wife, behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt. Genesis 19:26
Looking back upon what God told me to leave behind endangers me every time. God calls me out to something new, by faith, and because everything familiar and tangible is behind me, I keep looking back as a sign of attachment.
What’s behind me can even be painful, but I’ll keep rehearsing the past. People may have hurt me and though God called me out into the freedom forgiveness offers, I am still obsessed with what happened. So much so, that I constantly nurse my grudges.
Lot and his family had been prosperous in Sodom. They not only enjoyed great wealth, but prestige. Lot’s wife (we don’t know her name) was fleeing to the mountains for her life and leaving every worldly good behind her. Certainly a scary endeavor! But God gives grace and courage when He calls us out and offers wings for our journey.
She paid for this disobedience with her life. Her act of looking behind her is not unlike the children of Israel who stayed preoccupied with Egypt. Or, as my 8-year-old grandson put it, after hearing the story of the Israelites building the golden calf to worship, “Nana, they had the memory of Egypt in their hearts.” A great way to capture their spiritual problem. In spite of the fact that they had been slaves with little, when times got tough, they pined to return to their captivity.
Three things capture my heart today.
- When God calls me out, I will trust that it’s tailor made for me.
- I will not trust my own senses as I’m traveling in a new direction.
- I will remember that my security is not in what I left, but who I belong to.
No matter what’s behind me, it’s not better than what you’re leading me to. Before it takes shape, hold me tight when it appears as if you’re leading me to a vacuum. Amen