What Fear Is Driving My Choice?

And Abimelech said to Abraham, “What did you see, that you did this thing, [turn over your wife to me]?” Abraham said, “I did it because I thought, ‘There is no fear of God at all in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’  Genesis 20:10-11

         Sometimes, by all appearances, I am completely hemmed in. The only way of escape that I can see is to make a choice I would never otherwise make. It is against my conscience. Yet, my rationale overrules and I cave to engage in something unwise and even sinful.

         Abraham was in a tough spot. He had traveled into heathen territory and now He feared for the lives of his family. He assumed that the king would act in an unconscionable way by killing him in order to secure Sarah and all their wealth. It’s not that Abraham failed to be realistic about people. It’s that he assumed the worst about God. He believed God was not strong enough to keep His promises. As it turned out, Abimelech had a strong conscience and once he discovered that Sarah was Abraham’s wife, he trembled in fear over the sin he almost committed.

         What Abraham also did, and I never saw this before, was throw temptation before Abimelech. He provided the perfect opportunity for infidelity.  My bad choices always affect others.

         So many things can happen that make it appear that my world has fallen apart. I can be hemmed in by disease, finances, others bad choices, the mistakes of my past, and there appears to be no perfect way of escape. There just is no righteous door in sight. To cope, I manufacture a solution that is anything but perfect. I have to wince as I move ahead. If I could hear God speak, He would say, “Why didn’t you trust me? I’m never out of options and I would have led you through a door you couldn’t even see?”

         I have learned two things the hard way. 1.)When there is no righteous solution, I have learned not to move. Wait on God.   2.) When the righteous solution appears to have a bad outcome, I obey God anyway and know that He will order my steps into spacious places.

You are my hiding place.  You are my mountain mover.  You are the one who changes the hearts of those who have the power to harm me.  I vow to trust You and not myself.

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