Beating My Head Against The Wall


Ephraim is stricken, their root is dried up, they will bear no fruit. Hosea 9:16

            One of the major reasons Israel went after idols like Ashtoreth and Baal was because those gods were thought to bring fertility.  God reminded them the He was Lord over the womb, that in their disobedience, He would turn their fruitfulness into barrenness.

Have you ever known a time when you beat your head against the wall in frustration?  Technically, according to the strategies offered by people who have achieved some measure of success, you’ve done it all right.  You’ve gotten the right education, moved to the right place, made friends with those in high places, gotten your resume in tiptop shape, made sure your name was spoken in the right circles, and yet….open doors still alluded you.  Powerlessness washed over you, then anger, then a sense of futility.

I am speaking now from a painful, personal experience.  When I didn’t take the time to be still, to know God and value Him above all else, when I failed to take all of my ambitions and lay them at the foot of the cross and say, “Not my will, but Yours, Lord.”, when I extracted some scriptures to rubber-stamp my plans and call them “God’s will”, when I tilled up the soil with my own ingenuity, I really worshipped at an idol’s throne.  God thwarted my path for He will not share His glory with another.   I may see self-generated formulas work for unbelievers but my Father will make sure they won’t work for me.  He loves me too much.

There is only one remedy for a shriveled up tree and a dried up root; pruning and re-connection to the Vine.  Repentant and listening prayer.  My world must be still internally; poised to hear the voice of the Spirit who promises to lead me to the places He has planned for me.  I do not live like an orphan, carving my own path the best way I can.  I am a daughter.  I live close to my Father, listen well, and move when His hand has cleared the path in front of me.

Only your plans, Lord Jesus.  None of my own.  Amen

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