MY FUEL OF CHOICE
But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. Romans 8: 10
I’ve been up a while praying. Convicted. Aware that something is out of sync and asking God to counsel me and show me. After feeling that I heard Him speak to my spirit, He urged me to get up and go to the next verse in my Romans journey. He assured me that my ‘bread’ would be there. I couldn’t imagine how, knowing the subject matter of my prayer and the perceived subject matter of Romans 8. But here I am; humbled and in awe before my Father that, once again, He has gone ahead of me and prepared the spiritual meal. He knew that the instruction He gave in prayer would be confirmed by His Word.
I was up praying about the incredible pressures I am facing all around me, both wonderful and awful. I have before me a new incredible opportunity for ministry but that venture alone could completely dominate my time. Added to that are the pressures that come with walking on the front lines of battle. In prayer, I cried out for clear vision about how to walk these days. God’s message was clear and may only have been for me. But in case it was also for you, I share it.
“Christine, your pressures are great. The demands are too much for any human. The fuel needed, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, is substantial. Because you need so much of it, you fill up your reserves with me – plus other things that give you the impression that your tank is full. It’s tainted gasoline. Me – plus other fuel – does not make you run the race well. Don’t run to other sources of fuel. Fill yourself up with me and I will give you the stamina and longevity that will be required of you.”
Getting up off my knees and opening up Romans, the very next verse, I am confronted with the same thing being said another way. The body is dead and, ironically, looks to dead sources of fuel to keep it running. The Spirit gives life; life to the spirit and life to the body. Jesus said to His disciples (after sending them into town to buy food so that He could talk to a Samaritan woman), “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.” Fuel. This, He said to them, as they returned with a meal for Him and found Him wonderfully distracted. He was doing His Father’s will and had just seen a woman dip into the well of His own Spirit.
I’m taking stock of my fuel sources and giving God permission to say, “Keep it! Or, pitch it.” I’ll be freeing up my tank for more of Him.
At 4:30 in the morning, this sounds ‘cutesie’; perhaps even corny. If this was only for me and touches no one else today, bear with me. Sometimes it’s hard for me to tell whether pieces of my journey are just for me or are to be shared. Tomorrow will be another day and I’m glad you’re with me as God teaches me a day at a time. Romans sure has wide application.