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Can you name the big thing that overwhelms you; that mountain you bring before God nearly every hour of the day?  I know you wish it weren’t there, that He’d reach out with a sweeping wave of His hand to move it far from you.  I know you are frustrated that He’s not doing that when all power is His to take care of it. You can’t understand how anything related to perfect love could keep Him from rescuing. Maybe you also fear that your tears fail to move the heart of your Father. I’ve been there.

God told His people when they were traveling through the wilderness to Canaan, “Little by little I will drive them out before you.”  His plan for His child is that he would become wise and faith-driven, a child who trusts Him even when He looks guilty. Please know that slaying one giant at a time will build into your life these things, spiritual elements that are necessary for the unshakeable relationship He’s building with you.  Never underestimate what is gained when you walk with Jesus and see progress characterized by baby steps.

May I speak deeply to your discouraged heart? (I wish it could be in person.) God is not stingy, nor is His power limited.  It is His love that restrains His hand from completely delivering you from what seems crushing so that He can do something beautiful in your relationship.  He knows that this mountain makes you tremble, even despair.  But by dealing with your fear and choosing to stand in faith, you are being transformed into someone you will not recognize.  When you can’t see your progress, He can.  You have already changed more than you know. He wants you to know that today. In the meantime, keep trusting Him. Keep talking. Keep being real. Draw close to your High Priest, and don’t move for anything.

“Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land.”  Deuteronomy 23:30

For the past several weeks, in my spirit, I’ve been hearing, ‘My children must go deeper in prayer.’  

Spiritual health can largely be determined by the kinds of prayers that are prayed.  Requests can be comprised of ‘fix-it’ prayers.  What about deeper, more important things?  God wants to do beautiful things in my distress, but my focus is all too often on alleviating all suffering instead of sharing in the sufferings of Jesus.  Here are some examples.

If I’m sick, I usually ask God to make me well.  God says, ‘Go deeper.’  The Holy Spirit would ask me if I’m angry that I am sick or am cross with people because they fail to empathize in the ways that I need.  I should pray to learn God’s rhythm of grace in my illness.  This matters more than my healing.  

If I am being mistreated, I usually ask God to make my enemy nicer.  God says, ‘Go deeper.’  The Holy Spirit would ask me to pray for, and love, my enemy.  I should pray to learn the ways of the cross-centered life. This matters more than another’s respect.

If I am feeling shame from painful events, I ask God to take away the pain.  God says, ‘Go deeper.’  The Holy Spirit would ask me how shame has shaped my identity. I should pray to discover the ways Jesus suffered shame and, also, how He bore my shame. This matters more than erasing the past from my mind.  

Nobody likes pain.  We weren’t created for it.  But it is a great teacher.  We won’t be spared from sharing in Jesus’ suffering.  He asked us to take up our cross to follow Him.  Jesus wants to do more than fix what is broken.  He wants to be one with us in suffering. For that, we will have to look behind the things that are wrong to see the opportunities for deeper discipleship.

Behold, I have refined you, but not with silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. Isaiah 48:10

The Lord will give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, but your Teacher will no longer hide Himself—with your own eyes you will see Him. And whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear this command behind: “This is the way.”   Isaiah 30:20-21

There will be a future date, far beyond the life of Isaiah when Jesus and his disciples will be in a boat in the middle of the sea.  The opposite shore will be nowhere in sight.  It will be dark, and the sea will be churning.  Uncertainty and fear will overtake them.  Jesus will appear and will be walking on top of the water.  Knowing their terror, He will say, “It’s Me. Don’t be afraid.”  Like a child whose parent shows up to take care of everything, fears will eventually dissipate.  Pounding heartbeats will normalize.  Adrenalin will subside.  Awe and unworthiness will wash over them as the power of their Savior is made evident.

Our world is in a new season, a horrific season.  There’s no visible light on our path without the Light of the world. There is no wisdom for the next step without the voice of the Counselor. There is no self-comfort strong enough to make a dent without the presence of the Comforter.  There is no bright horizon without the One who writes a glorious future.   Who can access these resources?  The people who cry out to Jesus for salvation and ultimate deliverance.  No one who calls upon the name of the Lord will be exempt. Israelis and Palestinians, Hamas and Hezbollah.  

Where is Jesus now?  He’s right there, where He’s always been.  He’s never left.  He’s wooing His people while the waves of missiles assault their shores.  “It’s Me.  Don’t be afraid.”  May our prayers ascend for blind eyes to see and deaf ears to hear.   

Let Your voice be heard above the noise.    Amen

John said, ‘I’m not even worthy to be the Messiah’s slave.’  Unworthiness has so many faces, but only one kind is righteous.  John’s statement emanated from worship, not self-loathing. For any of us who have suffered from the toxic kind of unworthiness, we agree that it felt like a holy thing at the time.  Satan made sure of that.  

The enemy is out to destroy joy.  If he can’t keep me from following Jesus, he’ll keep me from the fuel that gives me joy.  God’s love.  He’ll twist scriptures to cause me to believe that I didn’t deserve to be chosen.  Because he is the most cunning accuser, he’ll use my worst sins to seek to prove it.  He’ll replay the hurtful comments of others about my past like a broken record.  All of this leads to self-hatred.  Any of us who have knelt at the feet of Jesus, never feeling like we could raise our heads out of the dirt, missed the joy of looking up and being surprised by Love.

The shame of unworthiness is healed in only one place.  In the arms of Jesus.  If I could see the light in His eyes wash over me today, unworthiness would disappear like a flash. 

Lord, I’m a dancer, not a wallower.  Amen

How does Jesus relate to me? I know I’m a disciple, but what does that mean, exactly?

• He calls me to something for which I’m unqualified. Four fishermen became evangelists and teachers. One was a tax collector. The calling is always God-sized because no skill set can achieve supernatural results.
• He builds the relationship on love and on promises of faithfulness. My relationship with Him began with love and forgiveness, followed by spoken promises that won’t ever be broken. Love is my fuel and His promises are my courage.
• He extends mercy before I sin. Jesus told Peter that he would deny him three times. When Peter was visibly shaken, Jesus told him not to be worried and upset but to believe in God. There was mercy before the sin. He didn’t tell Peter the specifics of how he would deny him, nor did He show him how to avoid it. I am forgiven in the past, in the present, and in the future.
• He forgives without reservation. Jesus forgives no matter how many times I say I’m sorry. I will have times of failure in the relationship. That’s inevitable. But not one sin or mistake will qualify as ‘unforgiveable’.
• He allows testing to reveal my flaws. Jesus was tested in the wilderness. His disciples were tested, too. When the fires are hot, the hidden things of the heart are driven to the surface. Bad theology is exposed. Testing purifies, and though it takes time to see the benefits, Jesus allows it out of love. And He walks with me through it.
• He is always out front ~ showing me the way home. I’m in the yoke with Jesus. He’s right there, a little in front, bearing the weight and responsibility for my needs. I am assured that the path we travel together leads me safely home.

The way may be steep, but it’s beautiful. Amen

What is it that rises up in me each morning to make me want to write?  The deep love of Jesus, the kind of love that makes no earthly sense at all.  It’s mid-morning, and I haven’t written anything yet because I haven’t stopped worshipping the One who loved an outcast.  I wasn’t a cute little orphan girl, all dressed up and on good behavior.  I was filthy and undesirable.  

It’s been hard to see myself that way since I was raised in a respectable, church-going family.  Childhood pictures reveal Easter Sundays with new dresses, patent leather shoes, and white gloves. My presumed goodness begs to get in the way of seeing myself as depraved, needing a Savior.  

But 2023 has been a year of deep change.  I’m understanding the Lover, and the context of being lost – and then being rescued.  I took a long look at Ezekiel 16 this morning.

On the day that you were born, your umbilical cord was not cut, you weren’t bathed and cleaned up, you weren’t rubbed with salt, you weren’t wrapped in a baby blanket.  No one cared for you.  No one did one thing to care for you tenderly in these ways.  You were thrown out into a vacant lot and left there, dirty and unwashed – a newborn nobody wanted.  And then I came by.  I saw you all miserable and bloody.  I said to you, lying there and helpless and filthy, “Live!”  I took care of you, dressed you, and protected you.  I promised you my love and entered the covenant of marriage with you.  I, God, the Master, gave my word.  You became mine.  Ezekiel 16  THE MESSAGE

The ‘field’ is Satan’s ‘field of the unwanted’.  Newborns aren’t treasured in his wasteland of a kingdom.  He just doesn’t want God to have them.  They are dirty trophies, uncared for, bloody, un-swaddled, and languishing.  He will raise them on filth, a degrading kind of diet for those who will never know one moment of nurturing until they are rescued by LOVE.

Look at the intervention.  God saw the births.  Saw the discarded newborns, unable to do one thing for themselves.  Their umbilical cords were still uncut, and rotting.  His reaction was not revulsion, it was compassion.  He spread His cloak over them, wrapped them up, and called them His.  “Live!”He said.  

This is the Gospel.  These were my beginnings.  God did it all.  Unless I embrace the truth of who I once was, I will never know the depth of His love.  And I will never respond with the depth of love that is possible for me to feel, and then to express in worship.  This is what it is to be a Daughter of Promise.   

For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.  1 Corinthians 13:12

It is instinctive to overcorrect.  If I was raised in an overly strict home and was hurt by an iron hand, I will create a home with few boundaries.  If I was raised in an atmosphere of permissiveness and saw the fallout of rebellion, I will parent with a heavy hand.  Unprocessed pain causes me to swing the pendulum to the opposite extreme.  

This same principle holds true if God was misrepresented to me in my formative years.  If I was told that He was harsh, angry, and unreasonable, I will grow up to dismiss Him as Judge and Ruler, in favor of a God who is loving and accepting of all people and all behaviors.  Overcompensating always gives me a vision of God that is skewed.  As a child in His kingdom, I can’t afford even one distortion. 

Defining my past as God defines it is so important.  Allowing Him to diagnose it drops a plumbline of truth into my perspective.  I am the child of a God who is perfectly balanced.  I don’t need to be skittish as He re-fathers me.  I’ll experience Him as loving.  Just.  Disciplinary.  Gentle.  Fair.  Safely intimate with Him, distortions in my own parenting style will come into view, and I will make corrections. 

An imperfect upbringing isn’t the only catalyst that weaves distortions.  Satan devises schemes that build deception upon deception.  If he can get me to believe a lie about God, he knows that trust will erode.  I’ll accuse God of being too ‘one-way.’  This will wreak havoc on my parenting and in my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  Every day, the Truth-teller wants to expose lies.  Why?  Lies hurt the children that He loves.  And distortions that cause us to overcompensate in our parenting hurt the children that we love.    

Show me where I don’t yet know You.  Amen

And He said to them [Peter and Andrew], ‘Follow me and I will make you fishers of men.’  Immediately they left their nets and followed Him.  Matthew 4:20

Many leave the faith because they had a bad experience with Christians.  We’re often not able to tell whether their disillusionment goes beyond people to Jesus Himself.  Perhaps they don’t even know.  If it’s your adult children who have walked away, you probably agonize as to where they will spend eternity.  Concern turns over time to anguish, affecting every part of your day. 

I sensed the Lord speaking to me about this a few years ago.  I saw that there was a need to differentiate between the rejection of American Christianity and the rejection of Jesus.   I remember wondering ~ ‘If Jesus walked into the room of many who have supposedly left the faith, would some be drawn to Him?  Would they see His glory and realize that their love for him was alive?  Would they understand that their issue was not with Him but with an often-toxic Christian culture?’  I believe the answer to these questions is yes.

Jesus hung out, much of the time, with disreputable people – those outside the faith.  Some were drawn to Him.  After just one encounter, they left their old life.  All of this played out against the backdrop of poor treatment by the religious crowd. 

So, in closing, think of a few people who weigh heavy on your heart today.  Picture Jesus walking into a room where they are.  Would they be repelled, or would their heart respond, soften, and reach out in love?  Perhaps they decided early on to follow Jesus, and their hearts are still bent toward the Light, even though unchurched.  Some of you, right now, are embracing new hope.  All is not lost, and the Holy Spirit is still wooing them through the fog of their confusion.  They need a private God-encounter.

Purify Your church so the disillusioned can come home.  But today, right now, have mercy on the prodigals and show them the Light of Your countenance.  Amen

THE YOKE OF THE INFANTS

 “Arise, cry out in the night; pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord.  Lift up your hands toward Him for the lives of your young children”.  Lamentations 2:19

When God tells His child to do something, it is always layered with future implications.  God has been speaking to me about signing up to work in the infant nursery at our church. I was surprised, but when He confirmed it through a stray conversation I had with a woman who had just resigned from nursery duty, I knew I had heard correctly.

The call to work in the nursery might seem simple.  Years ago, I would have thought so.  Go to the nursery.  Volunteers are needed.  

I am also on a small intercessory team that meets during the service.  While in prayer, the Lord spoke to us about praying for the infants in the church, for the unholy yokes of the fathers to be broken.  “Ah, so that’s what this is about!” I said to the Lord.  “I will rock children and pray for their spiritual freedom.”

The spiritual needs of infants are invisible.  All look innocent.  Yet God’s call is clear to cry out for them.  If God is out to save children, we can be sure that Satan is out to harm and destroy them.  What is it we can pray:  

Lord, Break the unrighteous generational yokes.  Apply the influence of righteous family members.  I bless the children to hear Your voice and to respond to the call for adoption. Give them a heart to know You and to hate sin.  Cancel the enemy’s plan to harm them, even to snuff out their life prematurely.  I plead Your blood over them.  Anoint them with Your Holy Spirit and power!  Set your mighty angels in charge, all around, to guard their footsteps.  

The Spirit of the Lord aches for the unborn and for the newly born, the ones whose hearts can be freed to know and worship their Creator. 

“Didn’t our hearts burn within us as He walked with us?”  Luke 24:32 

On the day that Jesus’s tomb was found empty, two men were walking from Jerusalem to Emmaus.  They were both disciples of Jesus and were in deep discussion about the report they’d heard that Jesus was alive.  Incredulous, while simultaneously grieving, they wondered how it could possibly be true.  To hope seemed reckless.

At that moment, Jesus appeared and started to walk with them.  He challenged their unbelief about the resurrection and began to remind them of some Old Testament prophecies about the Messiah’s life, death, and rise to glory.  His words were dynamic but they didn’t yet recognize their walking companion. It was only as Jesus was about to leave that their spirits woke up somehow and they begged Him to stay longer.  As He broke bread with them, their eyes were opened and then He disappeared from their sight.  They looked at each other and said.  “We should have known.  Didn’t our hearts burn within us as He walked with us?”

It’s an awful feeling when you realize you missed something beautiful.  Someone life-altering.  I have failed to recognize more than a few God encounters throughout my life.  There were subtle fingerprints but, like the travelers to Emmaus, I only saw them after the fact.  I’m learning to wake up when my spirit starts to stir in the presence of Holy.   I’m alert when my heart begins to ache and burn.  I know now that this is one of the effects of Him stirring in my presence.

David speaks of these encounters best, I think.  “My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned.”  Psalm 39:3.   Oh yes!  And then Jesus said of his cousin, John the Baptist, “John was a lamp that burned and gave light.”  John 5:35.   John had never been blind to his cousin’s identity.  He recognized that Jesus was in his vicinity even while in his mother’s womb.

Thirty years later, as He saw Jesus approach from afar, He quickly identified Him as the  Lamb of God.  Whenever Jesus was anywhere near him, I imagine every encounter a supernatural one.   His heart was not dulled to the one he was born to serve.

I want to fully wake up from all vestiges of a life-long religious stupor.

 Make me more like John.  Make the intangibles of Your presence more real than my tangible world today.  I’m awake and watching for You!  Amen