Overcompensating in my Parenting

For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.  1 Corinthians 13:12

It is instinctive to overcorrect. If I was raised in an overly strict home and was hurt by an iron hand, I will create a home with few boundaries. If I was raised in an atmosphere of permissiveness and saw the fallout of rebellion, I will parent with aheavy hand. Unprocessed pain causes me to swing the pendulum to the oppositeextreme. 

This same principle holds true if God was misrepresented to me in my formative years. If I was told that He was harsh, angry, and unreasonable, I will grow up to dismiss Him as Judge and Ruler, in favor of a God who is loving and accepting of all people and all behaviors. Overcompensating always gives me a vision of God that is skewed. As a child in His kingdom, I can’t afford even one distortion. 

Defining my past as God defines it is so important. Allowing Him to diagnose it drops a plumbline of truth into my perspective. I am the child of a God who is perfectly balanced. I don’t need to be skittish as He re-fathers me. I’ll experience Him as loving. Just. Disciplinary. Gentle. Fair. Safely intimate with Him,distortions in my own parenting style will come into view, and I will make corrections. 

An imperfect upbringing isn’t the only catalyst that weaves distortions. Satan devises schemes that build deception upon deception. If he can get me to believe a lie about God, he knows that trust will erode. I’ll accuse God of being too ‘one-way.’ This will wreak havoc on my parenting and in my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Every day, the Truth-teller wants to expose lies. Why? Lies hurt the children that He loves. And distortions that cause us to overcompensate in our parenting hurt the children that we love.  

Show me where I don’t yet know You. Amen

A Wicked and Perverse Generation

For I will pour water on him who is thirsty, and floods on the dry ground Isaiah 44:3

Children grew up faster in the first century.  Jesus knew, prior to school age, what living under the boot of the Roman Empire meant for his neighbors and the people of Nazareth.  Evidence of oppression was everywhere. During the time of His childhood, Caesar Augustus, just for the pure pleasure of flexing his power, sent a mounted army into the temple to slaughter 3,000 Jews at the time of the Passover.  (An event recorded by historians.)  The Jewish people also had to pass crucifixion scenes lining the road in and out of Jerusalem.  Parents taught their children early about God and eternal life.  Evil was prevalent so faith was necessary.  

In my generation, it was possible to raise children in an overly protective bubble.  Small communities were usually church going communities. Civility ruled and trust in mankind was possible. There was no urgency to provide spiritual instruction.  Need for God was numbed out by peace and contentment.  

But “Leave It To Beaver” has long passed.  Our world has deteriorated into chaos and evil.  While we grieve for our children’s loss of innocence, we are also presented with an opportunity to show them what hope in Jesus looks like.  When scripture is life-saving for adults, children will embrace it as life-saving.  Prayer will no longer be perfunctory at mealtimes.  It will be a way of life as families look to the heavens together for the grace to live and the hope to endure. 

I remember that Josiah, a righteous King, was raised in violent times.  His father was the wicked King Amnon. Horrific scenes of child sacrifice were commonplace and Baal worship was prevailed. Amnon made Josiah and his other sons pass through fire, practice magic, learn divination skills, and thought nothing of shedding innocent blood in great quantity in front of his children. In spite of this, when Josiah inherited the throne, he turned to the God of his fathers and walked righteously.  He was not scarred for life.  He did not embrace wickedness though it was modeled exclusively for him as a young boy.  

God has chosen these times in which to raise our children and grandchildren. He who calls a people unto Himself makes a way for them to hear His voice.  He cups His hands around their spirits and preserves their ability to understand and treasure righteousness instead of evil.  Hope is alive and God can be trusted with our little ones.

Though your children walk through the fire, we will not be consumed.  Amen

A Grain of Sand

“What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.” Mark 4:30-32

How very powerful kingdom seeds are when they are planted.  Jesus spoke about the tiniest of seeds, the mustard seed. He told us how something so small grows into a 10-foot plant.  Great things always start small.  

How much do you believe in the seeds of scripture?  When a need is so great, whether in someone else or in me, it can seem hopeless to personalize a few verses in prayer.  What difference will it make when I fail to see immediate results?  Does speaking a few kingdom words over an ocean of need even impact the void?  

My greatest mistake would be to be misled by Earth’s odds.  If I look at the probability of change as I look at filling up a beach ~ one grain of sand at a time ~ of course, I’ll give up.  But that is not what happens when I consistently sow the seeds of heaven.  These agents of the kingdom are energetic and highly effective.  When prompted by the Spirit and then spoken, they begin the change process.  How do I know?  Jesus said, “If you plant it, it will bear fruit.”  Whether I can see the changes is immaterial.  God works in the deep, in the unseen and invisible, and does soul surgery in masterful ways long before human beings can see the fruit.  

What kind of seeds do you need to plant today?  Belief.  Joy.  Peace.  Unity.  Sobriety.  Purity.  Speak God’s Word.  Don’t just read it silently.  When declared, faith is ignited, and spiritual forces are put on notice.  It is the legal equivalent of serving the enemy legal papers.  Oh, the cumulative effect of God’s spoken Word over time. 

I believe, and I have seen my own transformation with my own eyes.  Amen

The Rare Gift of Courage

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: the one who exhorts, in his exhortation.  Romans 12:6,8

Encouragers are hard to find.  Discouragers are everywhere.  One word of criticism can cause someone, already fragile, to want to throw up their hands and quit.  I can tend to think of an encourager as a person who hands out compliments and gives positive feedback but that is a weak translation of what Paul meant.   To encourage means ‘to give courage, console, counsel, and advocate.’  

I have to know someone well to give them comfort.  I must know their life, their work, and enough about their family to understand where sources of pain exist.  I have to be intuitive, knowing with just a look that they are not ‘themselves’ on a given day.  If they put on a good face, I’ll notice it.  The biblical bar is so high for how an encourager is defined.  If I’m drowning in my own challenges and don’t know how to live and abide in Christ, then I’ll have no courage to give away.  I will be nothing more than a parrot of clichés.

I know some real encouragers!  And because I have experienced the power of Jesus in their gifts to me, I love to encourage others.  I can’t wait to meet someone, hear their story, ask them where they struggle, and leave them with the strong words of Christ for where they faint.  The promises of God, strategically spoken from one who lives prayerfully, are the lifelines others need.  

Our of your vast resources, let my speech pour out your love, counsel, and courage.  Amen

The Use of Red Ink

You were ransomed from the futile ways of your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish.  I Peter 1:18-19

Suppose your small child is out playing in the back yard, a place that has always been safe, a neighborhood protected by Crime Watch.  When your back is turned, your child is snatched.  Hours of anguish pass.  The police and FBI are called and they set up your home with every kind of technology available, assuming that the kidnapper will contact you.  A day passes.  There is a phone call with a demand for ransom.  You expect to discuss ransom money but, instead, you’re told that they require the life of your other child in exchange for the life of your first.  How willing would you be to hand over him?  It would be excruciating to weigh the options.

After Adam and Eve sinned, God’s heart was broken.  He looked upon His precious creation and saw them in the enemy’s clutches.  They were captives.  Their cries could be heard across the great span that separated them from His presence.  Cries for love, for justice, for mercy, and for a new day.  The ransom required was the ‘giving of God’s only Son.’  No dollar amount would win their freedom.  Only innocent blood.  The miracle is, God gave what was most precious to Him in exchange for us!  And we weren’t even His children yet, only enemies.

As I enjoy God’s tender mercies this morning, I am closing my eyes for a moment to remember at what great cost I have been bought and redeemed.  When Jesus died, God looked upon Him as He bled —- and He saw my face.  Through the great pain of watching His Son suffer, He saw into the future and saw me come limping home.  He was writing my future adoption papers with red ink. I was bought with a price I would never be willing to pay if the tables were turned.

Oh, how great a love You showed to me.  Wake me up and don’t let me take it for granted.  My salvation trembles in my spirit.  Amen

Prayer For Our Schools

The prayer of a righteous person is effective as it is working.  James 5:16

‘Effective’ ~ working in a situation, bringing it from one stage to the next.

I praise You for Your promise that the prayers of the righteous will be effective as they do their work.  These prayers will go out and continue to work far beyond the time I spend speaking them.  Thank you, Lord.

• I pray in advance for my children, and grandchildren, who feel the pressure of their peers.  Help us raise up Daniels!  Infuse each child now with the strength to stand boldly, to be filled with your Holy Spirit so that your voice will be heard in a godless place. Use me to teach them to be kingdom warriors; tough enough to stand and tender enough to bring the broken to Your embrace.  I pray this scripture over each one of them today ~ “Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.”  I John 4:4

• Lord, I pray that You will remove the demonic glitter from drugs and alcohol.  Let their eyes perceive things as You see them.  As they are faced with temptation, in Jesus’ name, I restrict the enemy from deceiving them.  May they see the evil and run to You.

• I’m not the only one praying for this school.  I pray that You would make all your intercessors divine strategists, ‘wise as serpents while harmless as doves.’ Cause us to see the spiritual carnage of the school as Ezekiel saw the carnage in the valley of dry bones.  May we rise up to say, “Prepare to hear the Word of the LORD.”  

• I pray that You will touch the hardened hearts of students who don’t know you, the ones who have only seen evil in their homes and in their world.  Awaken them to righteousness and hope in the face of Jesus Christ.

• I pray for each student who lives, privately, in a war zone.  Cup Your hands around their spirits, return their innocence and protect it so that they can trust You and believe Your promise of salvation.

• I pray for each student who is a church-going Christian and is half-asleep.  I say to them, “Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”  Ephesians 5:14   “Be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom we shine as lights in the world.”  Philippians 2:15

• I pray for their Principal ~ that he/she will be influenced by Your Spirit to rule wisely and justly. Clothe them with power and peace; with faith, courage, and savvy to know how to advance the kingdom of heaven within their sphere of influence.

• I pray today what Jesus prayed, over each child and each faculty member.  “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

• I pray for revival in our school.  Deliver us from the power of darkness and convey us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.”  Col. 1:13 I pray for eyes to be opened to see Your glory, Your signs and wonders, and Your power.  Let them see the forces of darkness tremble and flee.

• Finally Lord, I pray that Satan and all his angels will be prevented from acting out all they are plotting.  Bring the execution of his plans into a state of confusion.  You rule by Your might forever.  You keep watch over the nations.  Let not the rebellious exalt themselves.  Psalm 66:7  In Jesus’ name, Amen

Wrestling and Prevailing

Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”   Genesis 32:26

“The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16   I learned it as a kid but knowing the words and understanding the meaning can be decades apart.

Jacob wrestled with God until he prevailed. Though his hip gave out in the struggle (the hip being the pivotal source of power for a wrestler), he did not quit because the blessing was of such high value.

There are situations that can appear hopeless. Natural evidence begs to prove that nothing is ever going to change, even if I engage my faith. So, I give up the fight and things just get worse. The pain of watching everything regress nearly shuts me down. I look ten years older than I am as I wear the cloak of faithlessness like an old bathrobe and camp out in the valley of resignment. I live in hopeless oblivion.

Is this where you are today? You’ve been wrestling with God for a long time over one single thing. The more you pray, the more things seem to decline. To continue to keep your heart alive to hope and faith appears futile. You’re fast approaching the line where quitting pretends to be the smart thing to do. Dreaming is painful. God appears to be cruel as He withholds the blessing you seek.

This is what it is to live in the shadows. But let me testify that God didn’t let me stay there.  His Spirit worked on me, infusing a ‘word’ now and then, and I would poke my head out.  So much happened that finally caused me to fight for faith.  Was it harder than giving up?  Definitely. But let me give a testimony here!

 I have seen powerful prayers answered after decades. One breakthrough took twenty-nine years, the other took thirty-seven.  Both were glorious.  Wrestling was worth it.  Prevailing brought the blessing.  The result is that I will have greater stamina in the next spiritual battle because I know now not to give up.

Over what issue have you taken hold of God in prayer today? How long have you labored? Hang on. Dig your fingers into the fabric of his robe and don’t let go. Today could be the day He speaks a word and prison bars open wide.

I value what I learned about myself in the battle and about You most of all. Treasures of the darkness. That’s what You promised and they sparkle in my spirit.  Amen

Adoption and Brother Jesus

And by him we cry, “ Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.  Romans 8:15

Having been in ministry for forty-plus years, I’ve heard a lot of adoption stories.  Some were glorious, and others were not.  If there were biological children in the home, there was often discrimination against the one who was adopted.  Biological children felt they were the ‘real’ offspring, meant to enjoy greater rights and privileges.  In matters of family inheritance, the distorted values really manifested. 

Jesus, our brother, made a way for us to be adopted into His Father’s family.  Through Him, we cry out, “Abba, Father.”  Think of it.  We call His Father the same intimate and endearing name that He used while on earth.  

Not only that, but God expresses to us the same kind of love and favor that He expressed toward Jesus.  We receive the same grace, the same tenderness, the same access in prayer, and we enjoy the same level of intimacy.  To further astound us, Jesus then shares His inheritance with us.  No discrimination.  

Right now, I’m expressing my gratitude.  I’ve never had an earthly brother, but I always wondered what it would be like to have one.  Now, I know.  Jesus stepped in and gave His life to share His Father with me (and everything else in the kingdom.)  I was undeserving, even an enemy, and yet He paid the expensive ransom for my adoption. 

God is good.  The Son is good.  The Spirit given to us is good.  And through the blood of our brother Jesus, we are justified and declared ‘good’.  Let’s celebrate!

Can You Read The Times?

Jesus also said to the crowds, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, you say at once, ‘A rainstorm is coming,’ and it does. And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, ‘There will be scorching heat,’ and there is. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky, but how can you not know how to interpret the present time?  Luke 12:54-59

How is it possible for someone close to God to miss the obvious? This was Jesus’ message to the crowd. They were skillful at interpreting weather-related signs but inept at interpreting the times.

When Saul pursued David to kill him, the number of those who stood by David was small.  But a group of men called the ‘sons of Issachar’ perceived things correctly.  They saw Saul for who he was ~ a disobedient king under God’s judgment.  They saw David for who he was ~ God’s anointed man who should ascend the throne.  From all circumstantial evidence, it would appear that Saul was suffering the threat of a coup led by a renegade named David. However, these 200 men read the two men accurately.  

The children of Issachar, men who understood their times, knew what Israel ought to do.  I Chronicles 12:32

What kind of spiritual acumen do I possess?  The men of Issachar looked at Saul the way God looked at Saul.  His throne or his crown did not sway them.  They could see his behavior and leadership style and know he was out of God’s favor.  They looked for the anointing but couldn’t find it.  They also looked at David and saw past his poverty and rag-tag militia.  They perceived the spiritual markings of a kingly anointing.

Not everything is as it appears. Influential people are often a house of cards.  They can crumble after just one confrontation.  The meek are often perceived as weak but may rise to rule over us if God promotes them.  Jesus is coming soon, and understanding the times has never been more critical.

Oh, for divine eyesight.  Train me.  Amen

Your Past Is Not Your Future

God chose you as the first fruits for salvation, through sanctification by the Spirit and through belief in the truth, to which he called you through our gospel, so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Thess. 2: 13-14

How about this quote?  “Your past is not God’s future for you.”   Many would argue that.  They say that so much of what they have suffered continues to visit them. They continue to get sick.  They continue to sustain disappointments.  They continue to get fooled by people.  They continue to face losses.  They continue to work with challenging financial parameters.  Life appears to be a cruel cycle.  

How am I to regard my life when painful things keep repeating themselves?  I must remember that things are often the same on the outside.  But on the inside?  I am constantly changing.  

Here’s an example.  When my mother died, I was thirty years old.  I did not have a solid connection to God.  I had no idea how to draw close to Him to weather the trauma of losing a mother.  I floundered, grew depressed and inconsolable, and my faith suffered for another decade.  

Much further down the road, my father died of cancer.  My relationship with God was more alive.  I was able to implement some spiritual skills to weather the long goodbye.

Everything was really tested, however, when our son ended his life.  But by then, scripture had driven my root system deeper into the person of Jesus.  I knew how to live in hope and trust God with unanswered questions.  Suicide was excruciating but it didn’t kill my faith.  

Three deaths.  Same external realities.  But each was met with a different internal world.

My past is not my future.  Nor is yours.  Our internal worlds can resemble eternity with Jesus.  Right now.  In Christ, God has enabled our souls to live in paradise.  

You walk with me and talk with me.  You tell me I am your own.  That changes today entirely no matter my affliction.  Amen