What Am I Doing?

When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down. Ruth 3:7

Have you ever taken a step of obedience so large that halfway through, you suddenly wondered, What am I doing? How did I get here?  Faith can carry us into landscapes that feel foreign, vast, and strangely quiet — the kind of places where our confidence trembles and our questions grow loud.

We’ll never know if Ruth had these thoughts as she took her place at the foot of Boaz’ sleeping place. Surely she had some level of apprehension. Would he scold her? Would he feel embarrassed by her act of intimacy? Would he send her away, thereby severing any hopes of redemption? Would he lose respect for her? Would he withdraw his offer to allow her to gather grain from his fields? Personally, there was a lot at stake. There always is when we answer God’s call.

We’ll never know if Ruth felt that quake of uncertainty as she approached the threshing floor and lay at the feet of Boaz. Scripture is silent about her inner world that night, but we can imagine the tremor of human apprehension beneath her obedience. Would he misunderstand her? Would he feel exposed, or embarrassed?  Would he interpret her gesture as dishonorable? Would he send her away and dismantle any hope of redemption? Would this singular act undo all the fragile favor she had found in his fields?

Ruth carried far more than barley to that place — she carried the weight of two women’s futures. There is always something at stake when we say yes to God.  Obedience has a way of escorting us beyond the edges of our comfort. Henry Blackaby calls this a “God-sized task.”  It is too much for human strength, too steep for natural skill, too intricate for our own networking or ingenuity. No wonder it intimidates us. God-sized assignments press on nerves we do not possess and require capacities we have not yet developed. They compel us to put our radical trust in God.

I once insisted I was unqualified to lead a ministry. I told God I wasn’t leadership material. I felt small under the shadow of others’ opinions. I had no vocabulary for the woman I would become when loved into wholeness. I was certain God had chosen the wrong person. But now I see that He wasn’t looking for the most polished leader.  He was looking for someone willing, someone who would trust His shaping hand more than her own limitations.  And across the decades, Scripture has whispered this assurance.   “The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” 1 Thess. 5:24

Father, nothing is hidden from Your sight.  Not the obstacles, not the timing, not the weight of what You’ve asked. Guide me with Your wisdom and anchor my courage in Your faithfulness.
Amen

A Night For Redemption

Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor. Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don’t let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking. When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do.” Ruth 3:3-4

Naomi discerned the pulse of God’s timing in the ordinary. A door had opened in the unseen—one that could alter the course of two destitute lives. Boaz was more than a gracious landowner; he was kin, a redeemer written into their story by the quiet hand of providence. Naomi’s heart, once bitter, flickered with hope again. She knew what must be done.

Her plan for Ruth was as bold as it was tender. Wash. Dress up. Anoint. Go.  This was in no way a manipulative scheme; it was faith clothed in vulnerability. Ruth would approach Boaz in the stillness of night, not to seduce, but to let surrender speak through her stillness. Her boldness was holy as she laid herself at the feet of her redeemer, asking without words to be covered in grace.

That kind of courage is rare.  I’ve been extremely shy with Jesus, even though my needs were profound.  I knew of His redeeming power, admired His mercy, even sang of His love, but stayed safely on the sidelines, avoiding an intimate encounter.  I believed His promises were true, but ‘too good to be true’ for me. I came to Him clothed in reserve, rehearsing polite prayers while hiding my spiritual hunger and desperate needs. I feared exposing my longing, feared that my needs were too much.  But there was a turning point.  I engaged.  Nothing has ever been the same.

I’ve learned that redemption is extended as an invitation.  It’s a duet, not a solo.  It requires my direct involvement.  He stretches out His hand and I respond, heart trembling, with a ‘yes’.  Maybe heaven grows still when I come to Jesus without pretense, ready to be covered by grace.

Jesus, spread Your garment over me.  Continue to exchange my history for Your redemptive storyline.  Ruin for restoration. My night for Your dawn. Amen

Right Under Our Noses

One day Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, should I not try to find a home for you, where you will be well provided for? Is not Boaz, with whose servant girls you have been, a kinsman of ours? Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor. Ruth 3:1-2

Grief had hollowed out Naomi’s heart, yet in this tender moment, she felt a flicker of resurrection. The woman who once declared herself Mara (which means bitter) imagined the possibility of joy. Hope dared to breathe again. She stepped out of lament and into intercession, guiding Ruth toward a kinsman redeemer who mirrored the kindness of God Himself. The threshing floor wouldn’t just separate grain from chaff that night.  It would separate despair from destiny.

Boaz was more than just a good man; he was a foreshadowing of our ultimate Redeemer who gathers the foreigner, the widow, and the outcast beneath His covering. Ruth, the outsider, would soon find herself woven into the lineage of the Messiah. God was already writing eternity into her story.

How often, I wonder, is divine provision hiding in plain sight? We pray for open doors, unaware that God’s answer may already be standing in our field, disguised as something familiar. We overlook the very answer God has planted in our surroundings.

When I moved to Georgia, a much older prayer partner told me that Athens (not Atlanta) would hold everything I needed for our family and for Daughters of Promise. I smiled politely but couldn’t imagine that such a small place could deliver such a promise. I was leaving the big city of Cincinnati.  But here’s how it unfolded.  Yes, Athens may be smaller, but each time I have needed anything and consider driving to Atlanta to find it, the answer turns up in Athens. In many cases, right around the corner from my home/office.

What are you desperately seeking today? Perhaps the dilemma will be solved by narrowing your search to within your four walls. Or, down the street. In your office building. Within the church ranks. In your small town. God is never careless with geography. There is more mileage in each affiliation than we ever thought possible. Don’t overlook the obvious.  Look again. What seems ordinary may, in fact, be the threshing floor of your next redemption.

Lord, I confess how often I’ve accused You of withholding. Open my eyes to recognize Your provision. Teach me to trust what You have waiting for me. Amen

Is It A Coincidence?

Now Naomi had a kinsman of her husband, a man of great wealth, of the family of Elimelech, whose name was Boaz. Ruth 2:1

Did it just so happen that Naomi had a kinsman named Boaz? Not a chance. I don’t believe in random threads. What looks like a coincidence is the quiet choreography of divine providence. Perhaps Boaz had been only a name Naomi once knew, a distant relative, a familiar face in Bethlehem’s stories. Scripture doesn’t tell us. But what we do know is that, from this point on, his presence will become the hinge on which Naomi and Ruth’s story turns. 

God’s purposes often enter our lives disguised as simple moments or passing acquaintances. A conversation we almost didn’t have. A person we almost overlooked. A door that seemed too small to matter. But later, when we trace the fingerprints, we see God’s perfect design. The stranger I met a decade ago changed the life of one of my children.  The kindness I extended to a crabby waitress was the catalyst that moved her toward God.

In my 70’s, I can see this more clearly.  I look back on seasons where someone’s arrival seemed accidental, only to realize that their presence changed the entire trajectory of my story. When I walk prayerfully, every encounter could be a significant divine appointment.  I may never know the outcome of a seemingly mundane conversation until glory.

Naomi could not have arranged Boaz’s actions, nor could Ruth have planned their meeting or the timing of the harvest. But God, who “works all things according to the counsel of His will,” could and did. Divine providence was quietly at work. What seemed like chance was actually the unfolding of God’s covenant faithfulness. Long before Ruth gleaned a single stalk, God had already prepared the path that would lead her to redemption. Through her, the Messiah would be born.

So when I cross paths with someone who awakens something profound in me, I should stop and take notice: the Lord is the Author of divine appointments. 

Lord, I want to be a woman who sees beyond circumstance to sovereignty. May I never mistake providence for coincidence.  Amen

Relationships and Feelings

Then she kissed them and they wept aloud and said to her, “We will go back with you to your people.” Ruth 1:10

We cannot manufacture compassion where no emotional connection exists. We were created to be responders—to mirror what is extended. When we are loved, we open up and love freely. But when we are spurned, our hearts retreat. When affirmation is withheld, we grow smaller and become shy. When met with stoicism, we become guarded. And when cruelty comes, everything in us wants to return it.

Naomi’s daughters-in-law wept at the thought of leaving her. She had given them their freedom, yet their hearts broke at the thought of taking it. Their tears reveal the depth of Naomi’s love. If she had been a bitter widow, there would have been no weeping—only relief.

In an ideal world, love flows naturally between parents and children, husbands and wives, friends and kindred spirits. There are tears of joy at reunions and tears of sadness at farewells. We might feel guilty when we don’t have feelings of love for certain people but in this world, love is often blocked. Some children dread returning home. Some spouses share a house but not a heart.

That’s why Jesus came to show us another kind of love—agape love. A love not rooted in feeling, but in divine will. His love reached for us while we resisted Him. He steps into our broken patterns with full understanding. He knows rejection, betrayal, and indifference. Yet He offers His heart as the remedy: “Love as I have loved you.” He gives grace to act in love long before emotion follows.

When we withhold love because we’ve been wounded, we do more than protect ourselves—we defy the cross. But when filled with His Spirit, we love anyway. It astounds those who watch when kindness meets cruelty and coldness. It won’t feel natural. It will feel like crucifixion. But God’s Spirit supplies the strength for every holy act of love.

You don’t judge me for not having feelings of love. You understand why I don’t. But You promise to supernaturally love through me. Amen

The Power of Letting Go

Then Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back, each of you, to your mother’s home. May the LORD show kindness to you, as you have shown to your dead and to me. Ruth 1:8

Has anyone ever tried to make you pay for their pain? Because they were miserable, they wanted you to be miserable too. They couldn’t bear the thought that you might be tasting joy while they were drowning in sorrow. They set you up to have to prove that you loved them and no matter how much you poured out, it was never enough. You felt their anger rising whenever you tried to return to your life. Their unhappiness clung to you, and over time, the relationship soured in your spirit.

Naomi could have become that kind of person. She had every reason to. She was bereaved, displaced, and empty. Living in a foreign land with no husband, no sons, and no blood relatives left, she stood at the crossroads of despair and entitlement. It would have been easy for her to cling to her daughters-in-law, using guilt, grief, or manipulation to keep them bound to her side. But she didn’t. Instead, she did something remarkable. She gave them freedom. She blessed them to go. She released them from duty, knowing it would cost her dearly. It was grace—a holy generosity born from a historic trust in Yahweh.

We all know what it feels like to be tethered to someone who is perpetually unhappy, someone who plays the martyr so convincingly that we begin to believe their wholeness depends on us. They would have us become their savior, but we’re not God. We can walk beside them and hold out living water, but we cannot make them drink.

Naomi ~ someone who blesses others with freedom rather than chaining them with guilt is rare. And when God calls me to be like her, I need to remember something. Grace is transformational when I let go, when I love without control, and when I trust that the same God who cares for me will also care for those I release.

Lord, teach me when to love through sacrifice—and when to walk away in peace. Amen


Compromise and Consequences

They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth. After they had lived there about ten years, both Mahlon and Kilion also died, and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband. Ruth 1: 4-5

Naomi’s story seems to unravel with sorrow upon sorrow. First, after moving to a strange land, she became a widow. In her grief, she transferred her security to her two married sons. But after ten fleeting years, they too were taken, leaving her isolated and vulnerable. Only two daughters-in-law remained beside her. Though her husband’s initial concern for his family’s welfare had been commendable, he compromised their overall well-being by moving them to a place God said was prohibited. Once there, temptation bloomed, and his sons joined themselves to foreign wives.

This was the family’s second compromise. The Chaldee, the language used by sacred writers of certain portions of the Old Testament, suggests that their untimely deaths were the direct harvest of disobedience.

Compromise always bears fruit, and its bitter taste lingers. I cannot read Naomi’s story without recognizing my own. Each time I aligned myself with unholy partnerships, the fallout returned to haunt me.

*I agreed to co-write pieces of music with people I was at odds with spiritually. Songs emerged from our collaboration that I felt pressured to record.

*I signed contracts with companies, though I had serious misgivings. Those alliances birthed endless stalemates, breeding frustration rather than creativity.

*I listened to unstable voices in seasons when God’s way seemed too strange, too slow. I set aside His whisper for the counsel that thundered louder. Those choices left aftertastes I still recoil from.

Holy alliances are worth the wait. Today I seek counsel differently. I do value feedback from experts in their field but I also turn to fellow contemplatives—souls who hear God clearly and deeply. Honoring His ways, even when they stretch me, has already spared me needless pain. I move forward with a surer step, clothed not in fear of the next consequence, but in confidence that His alliances bring both peace and fruit that will endure.

Guard my steps from unholy alliances, and give me courage to trust Your strange and narrow way. Amen

The Pen God Set On Fire

Beloved, while I was making every effort to write you about our common salvation, I felt the necessity to write to you….. Jude 3a

Has God ever redirected your life? You thought you were headed one way, in a predictable direction. You weren’t ready for a divine interruption.

I’ve been in ministry long enough to have God change my teaching plans just moments before stepping onto the platform. If I were an adventurer by nature, which I’m not, I would find it easier to flow with the urges of God’s Spirit.  As one who likes predictability and order, I can strain against the loss of control when God asks me to go another direction on the spot.  But at 71, He’s done it enough times that I’ve had some practice.  With history in my rear-view mirror, I trace His faithfulness and the miraculous fruit of holy spontaneity.

Jude started his letter to the whole church, intending to write about the glories of the Gospel message. As he began to write, God made him aware of the threats against the pure Gospel: those who would add to it, those who would delete from it, or twist it to advance their own causes.  What initially was a praise-filled letter about Christ’s message turned into a call to defend something so precious.  He started with an encouraging message but was redirected to take on a tougher, more confrontational tone. His original words might have inspired.  But this word was meant to convict. Jude was ready to commit his pen to a gritty piece of literature for the glory of Christ and the advancement of the kingdom.

I just came across this John Piper quote. “My prayer for you is that your life and your ministry take on a radical flavor. A risk-taking flavor. A gutsy, counter-cultural, wartime flavor to make the average churchgoer uncomfortable ~ a strange mixture of tenderness ~ a pervasive summons to something hazardous and wonderful ~ a saltiness and brightness, something like the very message of Jesus.”

I just wrote this out and put it on a card.  It’s propped up on my desk.  I believe it coincides with some place God is taking me. It’s not yet defined.  But wherever it is, I will stand on the tenets of the faith ~ fueled by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I will follow You even when You call me to something so radical it is out of my comfort zone.  Amen

It’s Not Always Physical!

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5: 11

When the prophets died, they were welcomed into heaven.  Jesus saw, firsthand, the joy that Isaiah, Jeremiah, and all the others experienced at their homecoming.  The same joy is predicted for us when we enter glory if we were mistreated here on earth for His sake. He told us to rejoice when we face the hardships the prophets faced because we’ll reap a future identical to theirs if we persevere through malignment, false rumors, gross misjudgments, and physical torture.

But persecution isn’t always physical.  Traumatic things often unfold when I do what is right and stand alone for it, when I speak an unwelcome truth, and when I follow my conscience. The wounds come, not because I failed, but because, by God’s grace, I was faithful.  

I’ll be excluded from groups that are uncomfortable with my passion for Jesus.  I’ll be rejected for being ‘too much’, too deep, too in love with the Word.  I’ll be isolated when hunger for righteousness is not shared and when there’s no willingness to compromise.  

If all of this resonates and makes your heart feel comforted, know this ~ We are not crazy.  We are not alone.  We are not forgotten.  We are walking the narrow path together ~ the Jesus path.  The ones the world rejects for righteousness are the very ones heaven welcomes with open arms.  What we lose for Jesus’ sake will be returned to each of us in glory.      

Help us hold fast. Amen

Religion and Old Wineskins

No one pours new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the skins burst and the wine is spilled out and the skins are destroyed.  Matthew 9:17

Don’t mix the old with the new.  That was the message Jesus wanted to convey in this passage. 

Wine, when poured into a wineskin, begins the aging process. As it ferments, the gases cause it to expand. A new wineskin will swell, and everything will be fine. However, when you pour new wine into an old wineskin, the wineskin has already stretched to its limit and may burst during fermentation. The skin can’t handle any new pressure. So, what is the allegorical meaning?

When Jesus arrived, people assumed that everything He was teaching (new wine) was to be added to their traditions (the old wineskin). But His message was clear that He came to change everything. They were instructed not to combine the old with the new.

Let me personalize it. If I’m a religious person and then encounter Jesus and am born again into God’s family, am I supposed to add Jesus to my previous religious practices? No way. I’ve been rescued from religion and all the trappings. 

When the Gospel brings with it a new paradigm, it turns my life upside down.  The old wineskin of past paradigms must be abandoned.  I called to turn away from anything associated with old religious archetypes. 

Old wineskins suffocate the dynamic Spirit of Christ. They can’t contain the fresh, transformative power that bursts forth from true faith.  Embracing new life in Christ invites us to seek vessels that blend reverence for our history but that nurtures a faith that expands and evolves.

If I have attached You to something that should be dead to me, show me.  Amen