When I Say It But Don’t Mean It

I know, O Lord, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.  Psalm 119:75

There are degrees of Christian maturity.  It’s one thing to look back at my affliction and say, “I sure couldn’t see it at the time but in the end, affliction was a good thing.  I learned so much.” It’s quite another to be in the middle of crushing circumstances and say, “I know that this affliction is wrapped in Your faithfulness, Lord.”

The Psalms are mostly made up of laments and praise.  The laments are weighty and honest.  The praises are statements of faith made by those who wait for their deliverance.  Each man ascribes God faithful and good even though he’s waiting to see it and feel it.

What about the things in my life that just seem way too heavy?  It may feel like they’re slowly destroying me.  Can I acknowledge that God is sovereign, that he has the enemy on a short leash, that these trials have been allowed because of God’s faithfulness towards me?  The only way such an admission makes its way from my heart to my lips is by faith, a faith given by grace. I don’t have to feel it to know it’s true.  My emotions don’t always match my theology.

It’s good to know that when adrift on a sea of despair.  Just as I presently look back on hard times and see the hand of God, I will one day look back on any present afflictions and see the same.

Faith tests seem to get harder the longer I walk with You.  Nothing is hard for You, Lord and at every place I need You, You have what I need.  Amen“I know that this affliction is wrapped in Your faithfulness, Lord.”

Over the fence and down the hill,  Julie's house.
Over the fence, down the hill, Julie's house.

“I’ll Meet You By The Tree”

We are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand, and we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

The last time I visited my childhood home was two months ago. I had the rare privilege of going home, sleeping in my childhood bedroom, and opening a cupboard to find plates, glasses, and silverware in the same places my mother kept them. That’s because my sister still lives there. 

3 Hill Hollow Road sits atop a hill and overlooks the Hoosick River and the village of Petersburgh, NY.  If you cross the one-lane dirt road in front of our house, you stand at a fence that looks down on the house below.  That’s where my best friend, Julie, lived.  You might assume that we saw each other whenever we wanted, going back and forth to visit.  That didn’t happen!  Her father was of another faith and strict about protecting his children from ‘the world.’  Our family was ‘the world.’  She was not allowed to visit me except once a year on my birthday.  

We did find a way to be together, however.  Children are creative and here’s how it went down.  Every day after school, I would go to the fence and look down to find her.  She’d be in her yard waiting for me.  I’d yell, “Get a snack, and I’ll meet you by the tree!”  Halfway down the bank to her house was the massive stump of an old tree, just big enough for two young girls to sit on.  We’d meet there every single day and chatter for an hour before dinner.  

Ah, but then came my birthday.  On that day, her father allowed her to visit.  I can still see her at the kitchen door.  She’d come in, and we’d play my 45rpm vinyl records, sing at the top of our lungs, talk, and then eat a lot of cake. It’s nearly 60 years later, but my heart feels such joy, like it was yesterday.  

Julie and I will have uninterrupted time in the kingdom.  Perhaps God will even re-create the setting for us.  I’ll go down a well-worn path, avoiding tree roots on the way.  I’ll know it by heart, from memory.  Then, our best child’s play will be re-lived. That’s because ~ in the kingdom, children of all races and colors will live without any shadows of bias.  Each life created by God will be celebrated. 

With You one day, memories will be made perfect.  Thank you.  Amen

Emptying Himself to Fill My Emptiness

For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour my Spirit upon your offspring, and my blessi11ng on your descendants.  Isaiah 44:3

The nature of God is to give.  He doesn’t throw down penny candy.  He gives out of his storehouse and empties it into empty places.  He pours out water on dry ground.  He pours out His wisdom to those who ache to know the mind of God for their times.  Wherever emptiness exists, a filling is available.

God begs to be shared through the mouth of His prophets.  This world needs a kingdom clash but there won’t be one unless intercessors ask God to pour out His Spirit on an earth that is empty of knowledge.  “And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions.  Joel 2:28 

God loves His creation and when He saw our emptiness, He sent Jesus, who “emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and was made in the likeness of men.”  Philippians 2:7   This was called kenosis, from the Greek verb meaning, “to empty.”   The incarnation was living proof that God gives everything for those He loves.

When Jesus left this earth, He sent back His own Spirit, not a companion Spirit.  At my rebirth, His Spirit was poured out upon me.  What is the proof that my emptiness underwent a spiritual takeover?   “He who believes in Me, as the Scriptures said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’ John 7:37  Out of a previously empty spirit, my spirit now overflows with the Living Water of the Spirit.  I am to be poured out and my world will never be the same.

Pour me out as a drink offering, Jesus.  Amen

An Apostle’s Last Days

Do your best to come to me at Nicopolis, because I have decided to winter there. Titus 3:12b

It’s easy to read scripture and color it with present cultural norms. When someone says they plan to ‘winter’ in a different city, it usually means that they have two residences.  One allows them to escape the cold by going to a warmer climate.  The other lets them escape the heat by retreating to a cooler place.  At first glance, I picture Paul wanting a winter’s vacation in some balmy Greek city, but this was far from his intentions.

Paul has just been released from prison.  He would benefit from some down time in a beautiful place.  But the city of Nicopolis is chosen because it’s an integral launching place for his end strategy for the planting of churches.  It is a port city, a place to board a ship to other major ports not yet evangelized.  Winter, however, is no time to travel the seas.  Paul knows that well from his experience with being shipwrecked.   He would go to this port city to ready himself for Spring. He would meet with Titus, Zenus (a lawyer in Jewish affairs), and Apollos (an eloquent teacher and apologist.)  They would conceive a comprehensive plan (while waiting for the storms of winter to pass), a plan that would take the Gospel to new places. 

Oh, but Paul never boarded a ship when Spring came.  This was the last winter of his life as it’s believed that he was arrested in Nicopolis, then taken back to Rome to be beheaded. 

Unless Paul heard from God directly about his impending arrest, he did not know how small a window he had to finish his life’s work.  Urgency, however, characterized Paul’s service to God.  How fitting that he would spend his last few months strategizing with three fellow servants regarding the best way to spread the news of Jesus.  Most likely, they spent time pouring over maps and making plans for Spring travel.  Each potential destination would have its challenges, but Paul had the best team assembled to prayerfully explore the best ways to move forward.  Zenas was a lawyer – specializing in Jewish law.  Apollo was an apologist – specializing in knowing how to present the Gospel amidst cultural objections.  And Titus was the experienced bishop of Crete – specializing in truth telling diplomacy when Christianity suffers corruption.  Paul brainstormed with them and then finished his course.  Soon he would step onto a new shore, see the face of the One for whom he had been brutally beaten, and hear the words ‘well done’.   

Most of Paul’s epistles end with interpersonal tidbits.  Not being familiar with the names and the nature of his relationship with them, it’s easy to skip over such verses.  This morning, I would have missed a lot  had I not spent a few hours thinking about four men, sequestered indoors, during the brutal coastal winter of Nicopolis. 

Lord, Paul didn’t choose to surround himself with clones.  Don’t let me shy away from friends who complement me and stretch me in good directions.  Amen

Near To The Father’s Heart – Part 3

No one has ever seen God. But the unique One, who is himself God, is near to the Father’s heart. He has revealed God to us.  John 1:18. NLT

The expression John paints of Jesus being near to the Father’s heart is not new to us.  Today, we use the same expression to describe a feeling for our children.  ‘Near and dear to our heart’ implies that the relationship is not like most others.  Encounters with them ~ we carry with us.  Words they speak to us ~ we hold dear.  Pain they express ~ we embrace and lift to the Father constantly in prayer.   

To be near to the Father’s heart literally means that Jesus was ‘in the bosom of the Father.’  A bosom is defined as three things.  We’ve already covered two.

1.) The bosom is part of the upper body between both arms.  If you face scary unknowns, God has you near to His heart.  

2.) The bosom is also the upper part of a loose garment where things are tucked away, carried with the traveler.  God has tucked you into His bosom for safe keeping.  

3.) Finally, the bosom is also a bay in a body of water.

God has promised to be a bay in the storm.  In the distance, I can see a u-shaped indentation in my voyage.  I recognize the calm waters that only a bay offers.  The mountainous waves roll past its opening while swimmers float near shore on glassy seas. God is offering me this harbor, anytime, and calls me to pull out of turbulent waters.  

How do I find this bay?  It’s wherever He is.  They rejoiced in the silence, and He guided them to the harbor they desired. Psalm 107:30

Draw me into the harbor of You.  Amen

Near To The Father’s Heart – Part 2

No one has ever seen God. But the unique One, who is himself God, is near to the Father’s heart. He has revealed God to us.  John 1:18. NLT

The expression John paints of Jesus being near to the Father’s heart is not new to us.  Today, we use the same expression to describe a feeling for our children.  ‘Near and dear to our heart’ implies that the relationship is not like most others.  Enco unters with them ~ we carry with us.  Words they speak to us ~ we hold dear.  Pain they express ~ we embrace and lift to the Father constantly in prayer.   

To be near to the Father’s heart literally means that Jesus was ‘in the bosom of the Father.’  A bosom is defined as three things. Yesterday, we highlighted the first.

1. The bosom is part of the upper body between both arms.  The heart, specifically.  I don’t know what you face today.  If you face scary unknowns, God has you near to His heart.

    2. Secondly, the bosom is also the upper part of a loose garment where things are tucked away, carried with the traveler.  

      God has also chosen to tuck you into His bosom for safe keeping.  No matter where He’s actively at work today, you are right there.  Just before my friend, Maryann, left for the Holy Land a few years ago, I lamented to her, “I wish you could tuck me in your suitcase.”  The sentiment is understood ~ If only I could see what you are going to see, experience what you will experience. God wants me to know that I stay with Him always, no matter where His Spirit goes.  When He has a heart for a remote region of the world, He will show me His passion for the people if I just ask.  When He is grieved by sin, I will feel His grief.  I am tucked into His cloak and it is wrapped around me securely. 

      He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart. Isaiah 40: 11

      Father, draw me into the stillness of You.  Amen

      Near To The Father’s Heart – Part 1

      No one has ever seen God. But the unique One, who is himself God, is near to the Father’s heart. He has revealed God to us.  John 1:18. NLT

      The expression John paints of Jesus being near to the Father’s heart is not new to us.  Today, we use the same expression to describe a feeling for our children.  ‘Near and dear to our heart’ implies that the relationship is not like most others.  Encounters with them ~ we carry with us.  Words they speak to us ~ we hold dear.  Pain they express ~ we embrace and lift to the Father constantly in prayer.   

      To be near to the Father’s heart literally means that Jesus was ‘in the bosom of the Father.’  A bosom is defined as three things.  Today, let’s look at the first one.

      The bosom is part of the upper body between both arms.  The heart, specifically. 

      I don’t know what you face today.  It may look like a routine day to you so far but for every person who faces scary unknowns, God has you near to His heart.  You have not been pushed away, put down, or even relegated to a place near Him yet out of sight.  He has embraced you and drawn you up to His chest.  

      When your heart beats, He feels it.  

      When His heart beats, you feel it. 

      In all their distress he too was distressed, and the angel of his presence saved them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them, He lifted them up and carried them all the days of old. Isaiah 63:9

      Father, I need this today.  You’ve picked me up, taken me with you to my divine appointments today and when turbulent, You draw me into the stillness of You.  Amen

      When What I Want Is In Front Of Me

      He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him.  John 1:10

      The Treasure that Israel had been waiting for was born in the middle of the night.   He was the Savior of the mother who delivered Him, the Teacher of the man God chose to be the father in their household.  He was the Rabbi in a manger who would know more than every other Rabbi he would meet.  He was the stone that the builders would reject, the Bread of Life for which His people would have no appetite. 

       From prophecy, Jewish people in Nazareth knew their Messiah would be born in Bethlehem. They knew He would be born of a virgin, and they knew Mary’s story.  Certainly, they had heard the stories of the shepherds who witnessed a glorious display in the heavens and the wise men who followed the brightest star for 400 miles with expensive gifts in tow.  They also knew from their people’s history that many of God’s chosen leaders came from obscurity.  God had anointed a shepherd fresh from the pastures to be their greatest king from thousands of years before.  Why, then, did the Messiah from Nazareth make them stumble? 

      For the same reasons I stumble today.  More than any other generation, I know the history of Jesus.  I have more Bible teaching at my fingertips than any previous people group who has lived before me.  Despite all these resources, I struggle to believe the promises in front of my face.  I’m not hearing them secondhand.  I’m reading them for myself with full spiritual understanding.  

      I need peace, but I often look elsewhere outside the Peace-giver.  I need composure, a moment to take a spiritual breath, but I often remain so worked up that anxiety overtakes me.  I need hope,but instead of raising my eyes to look into the face of the One who has planned my eternity, I’m spun up about the hopelessness of the times.  Oh, it need not be.  

      Rabbi, teach me.  Put your hand on my head and bless me.  I am at Your feet.  Feed me from Your hand. Comfort me, hush me, like the Mother and Father I need.  You are exactly what I need, the One right here, right now.  Amen

      The Anxiety of Being In The Middle

      “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear.”  Matthew 6:24-25

      ​Ever been in the middle?  It’s an awful place to be.  There are some whose role it is to be peacemaker. The anxiety of trying to serve opposites is tormenting because pleasing them both is impossible.  They are never fully satisfied because neither is winning.

      ​What does this have to do with the parable about worrying?  What I’ll eat?  What I’ll wear?  What others think of me?  Anxiety serves Master Satan.  Plain and simple.  To worry is to wonder if God is faithful.  Worry can lead to autonomy.  I take matters into my own hands to take care of myself because I believe God won’t do it. 

      ​Remember the daisy game?  ‘He loves me – He loves me not.’  Though it was childish, I do remember the bit of suspense as I neared the end of the petals.  Which way would it be?  Love me – or loves me not?  This is the stuff of serving two masters.  

      ​When the stakes are high, so is the battle.  ‘God loves me – He loves me not.’ Faith is put on the sidelines as I wage the options of trusting God versus taking care of myself.  God is unhappy because I fail to know the joy of childlike trust.  Satan is unhappy because I entertain the promises of my Father’s words.  How is this tug of war won?  How do I extricate myself from living between two masters?  Remove the power of the evil one.  

      ​Satan does not deserve an ounce of attention because he lies about the other Master.  John reminded me that he is a liar.  His very nature is to lie.  His default language is based on deceit.  So, I step out from the middle today and give him no attention.  When the first thought of worry emerges, I snatch it and kill it with the whispered assurances of a faithful Father.  

      No middle, Father.  No torment.  Only a simple, childlike trust built on every single promise You have made.  I love how You take care of me.  In Jesus’ name, Amen

      Prayer For Hidden Anger

      In your anger do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.  Ephesians 4:26-27

      Foothold ~ Strategic, military territory

      ************

      Lord, teach me about anger as I talk with you, listen, and meditate on your Word.  It is a minefield.  Sometimes it’s hard for me to know if I’m feeling Your anger or my own.  I get angry about injustice, seeing unrighteousness win, seeing the innocent suffer.  I have strong feelings about what I see and what happens to me.  Am I feeling what You feel?

      Anger has been confusing for me.  I have had a history of denying I was angry, hiding it, and letting it simmer.  Your Word proved to be true.  My hidden anger became strategic, military territory for our enemy.  He moved in, protected his turf, and put me in bondage for years.

      Don’t let me run away from anger ~ because You don’t.  Give me the courage to be angry over the things You are angry about.  Stir up resolve and holy plans.  Show me how Your anger can be productive. When anger is ignited, it’s hard to think straight.  How I need You to teach me.

      Above all else, I want my life to glorify You.  And I don’t want Your enemy to be able to work through my life in any way.  He wants to destroy me because He hates You.  I can’t bear the thought that he will win because I failed to handle anger in the right ways.

      Search my heart.  See if there is any wicked way in me and lead me out to life everlasting.  Amen