Then the royal officials at the king’s gate asked Mordecai, “Why do you disobey the king’s command?” Day after day they spoke to him but he refused to comply.   Esther 3:3-4

A day with significant pressure can usually be survived quite admirably. Adrenalin comes to our aid. Coping skills are fresh and haven’t been taxed yet. But let that pressure last weeks, months, even years, and the real proof of a person’s faith emerges. Stamina with holy responses can only flow out from someone who walks intimately with God. A smile given through gritted teeth is not the smile produced by the Holy Spirit.

I wonder if Mordecai knew the long road that lay ahead for him on the first morning he refused to bow down to Haman. Probably not. Little did he know that the next day he would be tested again. And the next day, and the next. The royal officials who served with him at the gate of the palace kept asking him, “Why do you disobey the king’s command?” I’m sure they were nervous to see whether he would stand firm or break under the strain. They knew the cost and felt the tension.

When the fires are hot and the stresses too numerous to recount over coffee with a friend, the body and soul are in a fragile place. Only my spirit, the part of me that communes with God, holds the key to whether or not I will be crushed under the weight. When I worship, pray and meditate, it is my spirit that does so. Then, my spirit transmutes the benefit of that encounter to my soul and to my body. The grace to stand firm is the result. In every part of me then, I am fortified to make righteous choices.

I know people with guts and am acquainted with those who have a strong will. But the kind of battle in which Mordecai engaged was not about human stubbornness. It was about strength of spirit and a courage that resulted from time with God. Without it, any strong man would crumble.

Mordecai was a man who worshiped deeply. His faith was not formed on the day he defied Haman. That would have been too late. No, it was fashioned in the dailyness of life, in the years leading up to his great test of faith. There is nothing more important today than fattening up my spirit for whatever lies ahead. The victory won through ‘Haman-like tests’ are won only if we prepare today.

My time with You comes first, Jesus. I am weak and easily defeated unless my strength comes from knowing You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

During the time Mordecai was sitting at the king’s gate, Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s officers who guarded the doorway, became angry and conspired to assassinate King Xerxes. But Mordecai found out about the plot and told Queen Esther, who in turn reported it to the king, giving credit to Mordecai. Esther 2:21-22

No one can afford to ignore God’s promptings. When He nudges any of us to serve another with an act of kindness, it often comes back to us in a critical time of need. While that shouldn’t be our motivation, it can be the unexpected outcome.

While sitting at the palace gate, Mordecai overheard a plot to kill the king. He could have chalked it up to male bravado but God must have impressed upon him the gravity of the threat because he voiced his concern to Esther. Mordecai did the king a good turn without regard to himself. But in God’s sovereignty, the king would have an opportunity later to do Mordecai, and the Jews, a good turn.

I have been humbled over the years to see how important it is in ministry to handle each encounter with grace, whether a skycap, a store clerk, or a college student who offers to help with some heavy boxes at a conference. Oftentimes, the most important work I can do for the Kingdom is what seems trivial at the time. An 18-year-old kid who helped me in my early twenties grew up to become someone’s boss. A newly married guy in his twenties, working as a sound tech in one of my early concerts, became a vice-president and the decision maker for a publishing company.

I have lived long enough to receive some kindnesses of those in high positions because, many years ago, God led me to stop and say a prayer or offer grace to someone who was barely hanging on.

Now, I’m sure I’ve withheld when I should have reached out. I’m flawed and must fight selfishness like everyone else. Nonetheless, by God’s grace, I have received gifts of grace from those I never expected to meet again. God gets mileage from the simplest acts of obedience. If I serve, I will reap what I sow. It’s a sowing and reaping world, after all. What I consider to be small things matter a lot. Small things are big things when God is in it.

Help me love others without expecting anything in return. But I know you, Lord Jesus. You hold unexpected gifts in your hands from unexpected sources. You are a generous Father. Amen.

And the king gave a great banquet, Esther’s banquet, for all his nobles and officials. He proclaimed a holiday throughout the provinces and distributed gifts with royal liberality. Esther 2:18

The king was in a great mood. He was in love and true love celebrates. History records that he gave gifts throughout the kingdom ‘according to his riches’. He granted a release to the provinces; criminals received a pardon and there was a remittance of overdue taxes for the general population. Royal generosity! He had been waiting for Esther and when he found her, she was everything he had wanted.

When God found me, when I responded to His invitation to know Him intimately, He also celebrated. He crowned my head, made me an heir to His kingdom, and called me His daughter. He threw a party in heaven and the invitation might have read, “Come and help me celebrate. My lost child has come home!” Now, he also gives to me ‘according to His riches.’ My God shall supply all your needs, according to His riches in glory through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Though I live in desperate need of love, peace, mercy, and daily grace, and though I might be satisfied with the crumbs He could offer, He chooses not to be stingy. He gives out of His riches. That’s what love does.

  * He offers forgiveness for sins I’ve repented of time and time again. He does not deliberate and then decide that I’ve used up all my token apologies.

  * He extends second chances, even if I rebelled, even if it was premeditated.

  * When He opens a door that was once closed, I discover that there are many open doors on the other side. God maximizes every opportunity.

I want to love like my Father. May my life today reflect that I live in celebration of His love. May others’ experience me as one with a gracious and generous spirit, giving more than expected.

You pardoned me, though I was deserved death. You erased my debts by paying for them with Your Son’s life. Every gift you give is so much more than I ever thought it would be. I celebrate You today. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

And Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her. Esther 2:15

When God reveals that it is time to move forward, nothing could stand in our way. The doors, once closed, will open miraculously. The ones with whom we found dis-favor previously, will suddenly have a change of heart toward us. What has changed? Nothing we can attribute to our own ingenuity. It is simply God’s favor resting on our shoulders. It is He who ‘turns the hearts of kings in whatever ways He chooses.’ We are only the instruments through whom His plan is carried out.

Esther entered the king’s quarters and won the admiration of all who saw her. Perhaps they had a difficult time pinpointing what it was about her that captured their heart. I’m sure her beauty was dazzling, her poise impressive, but it was God, infused in her very being, which gave her such distinction. They probably would have described her as someone who lit up with the room. Sometimes light repels but to those whom God’s Spirit has prepared, such as the king, light beckons and warms.

There’s no substitute for trusting God with my future. If I believe in myself, apart from God, and assume that I can be persuasive, creative, and intuitive in a way that will make things happen, it will take a long time for me to depend on God. Especially if I was born with a God-given charisma and natural giftedness.

When it appears I’ve carved my own path and the results were positive, the joy will be hollow. Privately, I know but better. I may seek His blessing but don’t trust Him enough to give it to me in the way He planned, and in a way that I believe is good for me. I want the light of His countenance on my life but am also out to make sure I get it. I simply will not relinquish control, and will manipulate and self-promote. The success feels fragile in my hands because I know that it was done in the flesh. God is discernibly absent though I’ll never admit it to those who might admire me.

Could Esther have won the king’s heart with her beauty and charm? Perhaps. Many women do. But Esther didn’t embark on self-made success. Doors were opened, and then closed, and she didn’t take either personally. She knew to fast and pray for a kingdom outcome.

If I trust God with my future and lay my desires on the altar, I will understand that there are two reasons door are closed. 1.) And open door is not the right time yet or, 2.) It is simply not to be and that’s okay. Esther said, “If I die, I die!” Ultimately, her joy, and my joy, is the result of being someone through whom God carries out His mission in the world. When He does throw open the doors, and I find favor with kings, the favor I enjoy is a God- thing.

There’s no such thing as being ‘stuck’ if I’m following you. There’s no such thing as being ill equipped when doors are open. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Before a girl’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics. And this is how she would go to the king: anything she wanted was given her to take with her from the harem to the king’s palace. Esther 2: 12-13

How anxious Esther must have been the days prior to her night with the king. She was young. And a virgin. Was her connection with God deep enough to give her some measure of peace before an intimate encounter with a stranger? Did God reveal to her somehow that everything would be all right? Or was he silent, beginning to cultivate in her a faith that would survive the challenging times? Esther did not have the Holy Spirit inside to guide her and God spoke so seldom in the lives of ordinary people. Her strength was in the God-stories of her ancestors.

If the night with the king turned out to be traumatic, would that erode her faith? Would she consider God to be faithful if the night was anything but idyllic? Not if she knew the stories of the children of Israel, the ones to whom God entrusted the blessings of leadership but also the burdens of fallen mankind.

Esther’s days were uncertain, mixed with the hues of sorrow and joy. She learned early that life was all about knowing God, bearing His likeness, and taking part in the redemption narrative. This young orphan girl played a pivotal role in the salvation of the Jewish people. Her obedience, starting with the risk of what might happen with a godless king, paved the way for the difficult lessons of faith that lay ahead of her.

Esther teaches me today about risk. God has called me to acts of faith; investing in relationships that appear to yield no return, leading a ministry when I doubted my gifts of leadership, being vulnerable and sharing my story with others when it could reflect badly on me. The risks are numerous.

Risk presents me with the dilemma of how to cope. Will I play it safe by closing the door to my heart so that I can sustain polarized outcomes? Or will I invest my heart, trusting God with outcomes of celebration and/or disillusionment? I am fully alive if I believe that God is strong enough to carry me through both.

I admit my faith is tenuous, Jesus. My words sound so strong today. Tomorrow, my appetite for risk might be minimal. Let me receive what I cannot generate on my own ~ grace and faith. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Esther had not revealed her nationality and family background, because Mordecai had forbidden her to do so. Esther 2:10

A difficult topic, considering the advice given to Esther. Mordecai, still having influence over her, told her not to admit that she was a Jew. What? That’s deceptive. But, he didn’t tell her to lie about it, just not to offer the information. She was to let others think that she was of Persian descent. Looking back, we can see that a sovereign God shaped his instincts and mandate. It would not have been prudent for Esther to reveal herself as a Jew as it would have thwarted the purposes of God. The King would not have considered Esther, a Jewess, to be his Queen.

It can be difficult to know when it’s alright to sit on the truth. You know more than you tell but for various reasons, you are led to keep silent. You don’t feel compelled to tell all you know since righteous outcomes are at stake. You believe the Holy Spirit nudges you to be silent.

Those with the spiritual gift of intercession, for instance, are given godly discernment into people and situations. They are often called to be the ‘truth tellers’; bringing painful truths to light. But more often than not, God does not release them to speak. He reveals information to them for the sole purpose of interceding. He directs them to pray rather than confront.

This is difficult if I have an unholy need for justice, or the need to be right. Letting someone have it with both barrels, under the guise of ~ “God revealed this to me” ~ feels great and feeds my need to be validated. Showing my hand can make me look important too, as though I have a special connection to God that others don’t have.
Today, I might have spiritual insight into a situation that begs for intervention. I may think that my information is a vital part of the solution. May my passion to be obedient to God’s voice overrule any need I have to take center stage and deliver the truth prematurely. Truth, spoken out of turn, can be a destructive instrument.

My mouth is driven by my heart. Turn Your light on there and show me every motive that is not of You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father nor mother. Esther 2:7

Esther had no father and mother. Orphans have always moved the heart of God. So, He gave her an adoptive parent named Mordecai who raised her to worship God. He was God’s representative to Esther, sent to show her the pathway back to God who promised to meet all of her needs. It would have been tempting for Mordecai to stand in God’s place; become God to Esther, bringing her only to himself and becoming everything to her. But that would only have hurt her in the long run. Mordecai would have set Himself up as an idol and Esther would not have had the spiritual resources to reign as Queen with a wisdom and an authority beyond her years.

The Psalmist said, Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. Psalm 27:10 There is a subtle but powerful truth to be understood here. God is declaring Himself to be a Father and a Mother when our parents fail us. He is the One who fills the aching void that comes from feeling like an orphan. How does He reach out to us? Oftentimes, it’s through a Mordecai, a parent-type who extends to us on God’s behalf.

But here’s the danger when God shows His love to us through people. We so desperately want parents we can touch and experience here on earth that we cease to see them as ambassadors. We clamor to rest beneath their protective umbrella and look to them to meet all our needs when they are only sent to us to point us to our spiritual refuge in Christ Jesus. They are designed to be ‘the icing’ but not ‘the cake’.

God has been gracious to me through the years by sending many older saints my way. They encouraged me, hugged me, prayed for me, but never failed to point me to the One who had filled them with a supernatural love for me. I struggled with idolatry here and there, but God kept bringing me back to Himself. Today, I am satiated in soul and spirit.

I will always be tempted to look to people for what only You can give me. Keep my discernment sharp and my appetite bent toward You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Now there was in the citadel of Susa a Jew of the tribe of Benjamin, named Mordecai, who had been carried into exile from Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar. Esther 2:5

How could Mordecai have known that there was hope on the distant horizon as he and his people left Jerusalem in exile. It was a time for repentance and mourning. Would he see redemption in his lifetime? He surely doubted it. It felt like the end for the Jewish people, not a pathway to the saving hand of God.
Have you ever regretted the times in which you were born? I know many people who wish they’d lived 100 years ago, or even in the 1940’s. In this day of lawlessness, disrespect of authority and corrupt leadership, it’s easy to pine for the days when Leave It To Beaver was the model for home life. Did Mordecai pine for the days in Jerusalem? Probably so. He never could have guessed that he would play an important part in the plot to save his people.
There were righteous among the unrighteous in exile; it wasn’t fair by earthly standards. They suffered side by side. Perhaps Mordecai had been one of the faithful. I don’t believe he was bitter though ~ considering his faithfulness and obedience to God. The spiritual fruits of his future choices didn’t match up with abandoned faith. His spiritual vision was clear and he allowed God to use him in turbulent times. His refusal to bow down to an evil man was the catalyst that brought about the salvation of his own people.
If one lives long enough, he suffers the consequences of other’s choices. I certainly have. Because everyone’s lives are entangled with those in authority over us; imperfect people, sinful people, their decisions affect us. I have spent my time railing against the unfairness of my own captivity. It took a long time for me to embrace the sovereignty of God. My part is always to dwell in the land, cultivate faithfulness, and then glorify God, even if in exile.
Perhaps you are in bad circumstances not of your own making. The footsteps of God’s children are not unseen by the Lord. Your greatest hour is upon you. Bow down to the God who can be trusted to craft your life’s story. When your angry tears give way to silent ones, you will hear God calling you to your greatest purpose ~ to know God, to enjoy God, and to glorify God. The spirit of a man is the candle of the Lord and His glory shines the brightest in dark places.

I thought You had forgotten me. But like Mordecai, you empowered me to be a catalyst for change. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Then the king’s personal attendants proposed, “Let a search be made for beautiful young virgins for the king. Esther 2:2

So that the king could forget Vashti and what he had regrettably done against her, he put out a search to find beautiful young virgins to replace her. It was a contest and one would be chosen out of the ‘best of the best’ of his kingdom. Distractions are usually very effective to drown out a guilty conscience plagued with regret. Satan makes sure of that because his ultimate goal is to see the same sin happen again.

An appetite that strays from God’s prescription for a prosperous life will become, over time, twisted and unquenchable. There’s no other way it can go because sin begets sin. Iniquity can never stay small. The journey to the land of perversion is slow paced because the changes in a sinful appetite seem subtle at first. It is like lowering the lighting in a room a little bit at a time. It isn’t until I’m nearly in darkness that I wake up and say, “Hey, wait a minute. I can’t see.” I am oblivious to the changes as I head toward ultimate blindness.

The degree of sin I will tolerate tomorrow is directly linked to what goes unnoticed today! A stray word, a lustful thought, a brief contemplation of revenge; these are the seeds which sprout spiritual weeds. No wonder Paul encourages each of us to take every thought captive. He’s not encouraging OCD but the prevention of small things becoming big things.

Some time back, a Christian businessman in our small city did the unthinkable. He threw away his future and the future of his family when he robbed a bank here in Athens, GA. It covered the front pages. Everyone who knew him, including me, was stunned. His witness was strong. His family was model. His business was well respected. But somewhere in his thought life, an idea simmered. The time it took from the conception of the idea of robbery to the actual occurrence didn’t happen overnight. It probably took years but the point is ~ it happened.

Did the king act out of character toward Vashti? Probably not. Others must have experienced him as an angry, impulsive person and they walked on eggshells around him. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” I may not be a polygamist like King Ahaseurus but his life teaches me far more than a lesson on morality. His choices, recorded for anyone to read, reveal the gravity of unbridled appetites that begin where thoughts are conceived, out of sight and usually at random.

Magnify my thoughts so that I may compare them to Your Word. I hold every one of them up to the light of Your glory and do daily sifting. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Later when the anger of King Xerxes had subsided, he remembered Vashti and what she had done and what he had decreed about her. Esther 2:1

Anger can be productive as it causes someone apathetic to become passionate. It’s empowering, too. I can clean my house in record time when I’m worked up about something. But we all know that anger can also be destructive. Once released without discretion, there are long-term consequences that are often irreversible. How many have blown up, said awful things to someone they care about, and then later lament in regret. They would do anything to take back the words and the hurt they caused.

The king, under the influence of too much alcohol, was furious when Queen Vashti refused to cater to his whims. He overreacted, consulted his advisors, and wrote a new law that banished her from his presence. Once his anger had subsided, he missed his wife but it was too late. Once a law was drafted and then sealed with the royal seal, it was irrevocable. Oh, the grief he must have felt over the sudden death of such an important relationship. I wonder if he regretted the law he had made, or regretted his anger that caused him to write it, or even felt sorry for the original order he gave to Vashti to dance for his drunken party. I hope it was all three.

The writer of Proverbs said, “When the heart is hot, the tongue must be silent.” Tempers release words. Oftentimes, it is anger that enables someone to become eloquent under the influence of rage. Usually quiet, they seem to find their voice when anger is hot, though it’s not a voice that speaks prudently.

Righteous speech is always my priority. Being right is not the goal nor is assaulting the offender and leaving him in pieces. My greatest need, when angry, is to hear God and know what His response would be were he to live His life through me. There probably is a truth to be spoken. It may be pointed or soft. It may sting or it may be merciful. I can’t guess God’s will and just wing it. Never am I more wrong than when I act impulsively out of hurt.

Wise words are cultivated in seasons of stillness. Without a season of prayer, I will say something I regret. Words will forever be remembered, reviewed, and continue wounding even though much time has past. The deeper the wound, the greater the chance that an apology will only be a band aid on something that needs intensive care.

Today, I may be wronged. I will feel the turn of the knife in my soul. The fruit of Your Holy Spirit is self-control. Help me walk away, pray, listen, and then respond as You lead me. In Jesus name, Amen.