Category: Teaching Topics

For through Him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Therefore you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens of the saints and members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus Himself as the cornerstone. Ephesians 2:18-20

Picture a group of believers having dinner together and you are among them. You are strangers to each other and so each of you begins to tell a little about yourself; where you grew up, your early life, current family status, etc. If you’re reading this and thinking, “That sounds like fun. . .” then you probably have a past without much shame. You are eager for it to be your turn but if your story was significantly challenging, you probably dread the time all eyes will be on you. Feelings of shame will rise up in your throat.

For each story where the Gospel has shaped families, I praise God. For each story where the Gospel has saved families, I praise God. I want to remind every woman who is reading this and feeling shame over her past that, as God’s child, she has a 2nd family. Each of us have two births, a physical and spiritual, and each has two families, a physical and a spiritual. Regardless of how unrighteous our family of origin was, our spiritual family makes up for it.

Consider this quote from Methodist Theologian, Christopher Hall. For the church fathers, the Scripture was to be studied, pondered, and exegeted within the context of worship, reverence, and holiness. Now, they are connected to you and you can tell their story as your own.

Each of us has giants of faith in our spiritual lineage. Imagine if we could begin our testimony this way ~“My story is full of darkness and light. My earthly father left when I was four years old. I never knew him. But in God’s providence, I became His child and He is my Father. I know Him well and can tell you countless stories of how He is graciously fathering me.” Now that’s a testimony that can, and should, be common among all of us. The thread of God’s fatherhood binds us together and we share the common experience of finding God to be glorious and personal. Who is in my spiritual family?

• My sister, Hannah. Besieged by hard times. Driven to the temple by grief. The object of longterm ridicule and the scourge of barrenness, which was understood in her culture as God’s curse. The recipient of a miracle in the conception of Samuel. The author of one of the greatest songs of faith and praise in all of scripture. I Samuel 1My brother, David. Th
• My brother, David.  The least of his brothers. Raised under God’s watchful care in far off fields as a shepherd. Achieved prominence as a musician who could sing away demonic. Suffered as a result of sinning boldly. Known for worshipping just as boldly. Characterized as someone who felt quick remorse over his own sin. Remembered as a man after God’s heart.

Remind me that I have a rich spiritual heritage and waiting inheritance. Amen

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.  I Peter 4:10-11

Every child of God has a spiritual gift. Most have several. There are a defined number available to us and they are easily discerned by taking a spiritual gifts test. I hope you’ve done that. Each of us needs to know. God gave spiritual gifts to us to give us the privilege of working with Him. Building the kingdom within the area of our spiritual gifts gives us joy and a great sense of purpose.

But there are also gifts that reside within our personalities. Because there are so many, these are harder to discern. It takes being in relationship with others to discover them. It requires feedback to help us see where our strengths lie because everyone is unique. Some have a way of telling a story. Someone like my friend, Phyllis, can take a clipping from most any shrub, stick it in the ground, and see it flourish. My sister in law paints what she calls a ‘doodle’ every day. She takes a 4 x 6 piece of parchment and with a few water color paints, draws something stunning in less then an hour. Other gifts would include the ability to simplify what is complicated. The ability to turn a phrase and make people laugh. The ability to think critically, like my sister, in order to speak on behalf of others. (She’s a lawyer.) The ability to compose music in your head without an instrument in sight. The ability to calm animals. The ability to to see a lamp, picture, and an antique chair and create a room around them.

Gifts are from God. We all have them. Some of us found them later in life. We grew up in a relational vacuum with little feedback from adults. We never heard parents and family members describe the unique ways we were created. As adults however, we are not powerless to know ourselves. God is our Father now and will show us what we lack. We must do two things.

• Ask our Creator to help us discover our uniqueness. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all. Psalm 139:2-3
• Ask a few intuitive friends who knows us well. If they walk with Jesus, they have an even greater edge of answering with wisdom.

It pains me to hear a woman say that she doesn’t believe she has any gifts. It’s not only NOT true but she is living a life without purpose. I encourage you to ask your Father today, “Tell me three things you love about me; three things you wired into me when You created me.” I did that recently and got an answer immediately. His answer made me sit up and take notice of whether I was investing my time to use those three qualities. His answer also prompted me to tweak my priorities. May God surprise you with His answer.

Reveal us to ourselves ~ through Your eyes ~ for Your glory. Amen

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. Matthew 6:22

Have you experienced a Spirit-bond? I’m talking about what happens when you meet someone and the Holy Spirit in you recognizes the Holy Spirit in them. The two of you want to reach out immediately to fellowship. It’s a moment like Mary and Elizabeth shared when their two unborn babies discerned the identity of the other.

Each child of God has a part of the Trinity living inside. The Spirit of the Light of the World came to dwell inside a human spirit. Wow! Shouldn’t His Light in their eyes be the natural outcome?

Oh, that I would love God so much that I can’t speak His name without my face changing! My eyes should get soft and somewhat transparent. His name should bring a change to my countenance. “He means everything to me,” should be my answer when I’m asked by strangers if I’m a religious person. They expect to hear about religious performance but what if they heard about a love relationship?

Few authors wrote more about the love of God than Brennan Manning. “Do you believe that the God of Jesus loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity—that he loves you in the morning sun and in the evening rain—that he loves you when your intellect denies it, your emotions refuse it, your whole being rejects it. Do you believe that God loves without condition or reservation and loves you this moment as you are and not as you should be.”

If I could stand a foot away from the face of God and dare to look into His face, I would be overcome by the love that I saw there. It would be so overwhelming that I would crumble under the realization that such affection existed for me. After the encounter, never would I say God’s name without that specific memory washing over me again. I would fully believe to the depths of me that He has redeemed me and made me His. I would be utterly convinced that He’s for me, not against me. He blesses me, not condemns me. I would never be afraid to run home again. I would never be shy about asking the Holy Spirit to fill me when the people of earth leave me unsatisfied. I would forgive easily ~ knowing that whatever wrong has been done against me will be made right by a Father who rules His kingdom of children with perfect justice.

The glory of the Lord rests upon us. Glory is brilliant and begs to shine.

Pools of Light, Lord. Let your radiance be seen in my eyes. Amen

To them I will give in My house and within My walls a memorial and a name
better than that of sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name
which will not be cut off. Isaiah 56:5

Ever notice that friends give each other nicknames? Children get baby nicknames that usually stick no matter how old they get. Even pet’s names get changed over time, usually shortened to a syllable. (I won’t even tell you the names I’ve given my cats. They are the source of much teasing at our house.)

To change someone’s name legally, you must have the authority to do so. Who has more authority than God! He changed significant people’s names all throughout scripture. They correlated to a new God-given calling or their new role in history. Abram ~ Abraham. Saul ~ Paul. Simon ~ Peter. Sarai ~ Sarah. Judah ~ Israel.

For over a year, God began speaking to me about my name; probably because I hated my middle name to such an extent that I wouldn’t tell many people what it even was. There isn’t enough time to tell you the whole story but let me just say that the my feelings changed entirely about my middle name, Eloise, by the time the Spirit of God revealed some things.

One thing I’ve come to believe is this ~ each of us should find out the meaning of our name. It may have scriptural roots and a significance that fits our personality and calling. Satan works through the brokenness of other people in our lives to achieve specific things ~ one of which is to make us believe that we are the exact opposite of what our name represents. For instance, if I have a name that means ‘adventurer and courageous’, life would have dealt me some blows that caused me to become conservative and timid. I must, by God’s grace, grow into my name.

Because of the Gospel, I inherited many new names. Beloved, saint, friend, daughter, etc. I also inherited a name that only God calls me and, one day, I will hear Him speak that name. To him who overcomes, to him I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it.’ Revelation 2:17 I’ve met 2 people who say they already know what their new name is as they’ve heard God speak it in prayer. I have no reason to doubt them and think that their stories are pretty awesome. They didn’t tell me this arrogantly; in fact, they were a bit shy to admit it. I will say that there was a look on their faces as they spoke of it. A look I won’t forget.

What do you think your new name will be? But, have you also embraced the names and identities that came with salvation? We must shed the names bullies called us as well as the malicious names that were spoken by friends and family. Our new name comes off the lips of Jesus so tenderly.  It’s the nickname between intimates.

Give me the courage to believe every name You’ve already given me. Amen

No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.   Romans 4:20

Every single person who lives like an orphan does so from breach of trust.  Their willingness to place their lives in God’s care and provision has been suspended.  Pain facilitated that by unearthing their bad theology.   Somewhere along the line, Satan introduced thoughts about God’s character, like ~ He’s not loving.  He can’t be trusted.  He doesn’t treat His children well.  You’re better off taking care of yourself.

What is the posture of someone who distrusts another?  They back up. They reserve warmth. They keep thoughts private. They make a decision to need nothing from others.  And this is where so many are with God.  I lived there for a long, long time.  God’s character needed defending and God used a few people in my life to do just that.  They didn’t scold and confront my unbelief. In truth, they didn’t know what was going on in my heart.  They just shared their own stories about God’s tenderness. 

They revealed portions of scripture that were not familiar to me about the heart of God and the heart of the scriptures.  Slowly, my skepticism cracked and childlike trust emerged.  I dared believe in the goodness of God toward me.  I personalized the good news of the Gospel.  As trust in God grew, I was willing to step away from the safety of orphan thinking and risk trusting Him enough to live as His daughter.

I’ve been asked repeatedly about this ministry.  I answer that Daughters of Promise teaches women how to live as God’s child.  This is really a quick over-simplification.  Really, this ministry reaches out to orphans, helps them identify the cracks in their faith and the places where they distrust God.  Then, I have the privilege of telling stories and teaching the Word to highlight the beautiful character of God.  I get to defend His heart and start the rewarding work of reconciliation.  Women move from distrust to trust.  This series is the perfect example of that mission at work.  

If your eyes have been opened to your orphan ways, mission accomplished.  If hope for change and a different way of life has been stirred in your heart, mission accomplished.  If you’re daring to believe that God really has been at work in your painful story, mission accomplished.  And if you find yourself anxious to read about the characteristics of a spiritual daughter in the coming days, mission accomplished.  And how I love what God has called me to do.  How I love seeing you come alive.

You know that I am never preaching at you.  I’m sharing my own story and I pray that by doing that, you will have the courage to trust God for your own metamorphosis.  

So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army. Ezekiel 37:10

Orphans aren’t changed through a new belief system. It’s a start but by itself, it only yields changed behavior. If you tell a child, “Don’t need me so much,” they will feel rejected. Behavior will improve as they are then afraid to show their need. This is what it is to study the Word of God without the breath of the Spirit.  Good behavior vs. real heart change.  Consider this story and picture it as you read it.

Ezekiel (in a vision) is brought to the precipice of a valley. As he looks down, he sees carnage. Something horrific has happened and the valley floor is full of skeletons. He is distraught and asks God, “How can these bones live?” God doesn’t tell him it’s impossible. He tells him to do something and prophesy to the bones. That means, speak the Word of God over them. Ezekiel obeys and it takes effect. He sees the bones begin to move and show signs of life. Skin forms on the skeletons and flesh becomes visible. But they still lie there half dead, half alive. Something additional needed to happen.

The breath of the Spirit. The wind came and God breathed over that valley – over the Word that Ezekiel had spoken. The Word, plus the Spirit’s breath, brought completion to the resurrection below. Breath entered them and they all stood on their feet.

This is Old Testament. Is there a New Testament correlation? Yes, when Jesus talks to Nicodemus and tells him that to be born again, he must come by way of the Word and the Spirit. The Spirit (wind) blows over the darkened mind of an unbeliever. Eyes are open and their heart is ready for the 2nd part of the miracle. The Gospel is proclaimed and there is spiritual understanding. The Spirit, plus the Word, bring new life to the one who is spiritually dead.

So, how does God heal the heart of an orphan? Through His Word and through the breath of His Spirit. As you review the ten orphan characteristics, which ones describe your way of life? Did you own them? You are on the precipice of change. Knowing exactly what is wrong and acknowledging it is the beginning of a new life. The next step is to live in the scriptures that address your orphan ways. Ask the Spirit of God to breathe over your heart, over the lies, over what has been dead-end behavior. As you make those scriptures yours and meditate on them, be aware and continue to ask the Holy Spirit to write them on your heart. Close your eyes as you recite them. Jesus is there with you, and if you ask, He will breathe over you just as powerfully as when He stood in the upper room and breathed over a group of disciples that were depressed and feeling hopeless. What happened? Timidity was replaced by boldness. Unbelief melted away and passion took them from hiding in fear to public ministry. They gave up their lives joyfully.

Your Word is in me. Your Spirit is in me. I have both and I want to be changed. Amen

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.  Ecclesiastes 3:1

I’m not usually willing to make changes in my life until I’m thoroughly convinced that what I’m doing isn’t working. After hitting one brick wall after another, I’m finally open to allowing God to teach me a different way to live ~ the way of God’s daughter.  

These changes, while they can start today, don’t conclude overnight.  It took a lifetime to learn the wrong ways to live and it will take time to biblically challenge each one of them.  They are my defaults, after all. The heart of the orphan is healed in the safe hands of a Father who is not in a hurry.  The best things, eternal things, take time and effort.  Aren’t you a bit suspicious of anyone who claims to have kicked a life-long addiction in just a few days?  You know better, right?  So it is with human hearts.  

Truth is not truth to me  until I’ve applied it.  Only experience brings the truth I’ve studied to become a part of my heart.  Until there’s application, it’s only theory.  

Years back, we had a pastor whose wife suffered from the effects of a very traumatic childhood.  She was haunted by the memories of it and they robbed her of life.  He claimed that one day, at an altar, God would miraculously remove all her memories and give her a clean start.  It never happened.  Today, she is far happier and enjoys a freedom she only dreamed of.  How did God heal her?  Over time, one memory at a time. Solomon talks about the times and seasons in today’s scripture in Ecclesiastes.  While time can refer to a minute or an hour, a season is lengthier.  It could mean months, as in the four seasons, but it could also signify years.  

God is kind to help me re-trace my steps.  He encourages me to look again at the events and the people of my past, but this time through the lens of the Word.  I’m able to see with a clarity not afforded to a child.  I have greater understanding of broken adults and how children are shaped by them.  I take responsibility for the lies and distortions I internalized that formed my mindset.  As I come to God in humility, God graciously reveals one piece of life at a time – then shows me wisdom. Scripture comes alive as my foundation is re-shaped by what is unshakeable.  

It can be upsetting to think that this metamorphosis from orphan to daughter spans years but I can tell you that while I was learning this new way to live, the changes were so spectacular that my life continually felt new.  It’s a mystery, I tell you.  God takes His time but also redeems the time the locusts consumed.  Amazing.  And after a while, I can’t remember being the ‘old me.’  

I will never get over the wonder at how You make things new. Why did I wait?  Amen

You’ve now become acquainted with all ten characteristics of the spiritual orphan.  Maybe you only related to one or two but I will tell you that this would be unusual.  Many check off more than a few and some even admit to having all ten.  With that realization usually comes panic.  “Is this hopeless?  Am I too messed up?”  I say emphatically no.  I speak from experience because I struggled with all ten.  That’s where this teaching comes from and I have seen God make changes in me in all areas. 

Remember that God knows we all come as orphans and he knows what might be our initial posture where He is concerned; a bit withdrawn and suspicious.  Those with a difficult life story feel secure only if they stay a safe distance away. They are tucked away behind a wall of mis-trust, even with someone trustworthy.  

No matter the level of healing that is needed, our Heavenly Father has a plan to win our trust. He slows the pace and calls each of us by name.  He knows it takes time to fully trust the love He offers without the slightest reservations. Orphan-ness won’t leave overnight but the healing can begin immediately.  He whispers to our spirit within the love language of the scriptures. His Word heals. We begin to understand that God is not like anyone else we’ve ever known, loved, and trusted.  Holiness means perfection so God cannot be unfaithful.  It’s against His very nature. 

Not only does He heal with words but He binds up our wounds with non-verbals.  “I’ll pour robust well-being into her like a river.  You’ll nurse at her breasts, nestle in her bosom, and be bounced on her knees.  As a mother comforts her child, so I’ll comfort you.”  Isaiah 66:12-13   These are all gestures that don’t require talking.  Nestling, bouncing, nursing, comforting.  There are times when words aren’t enough but God is not limited in love language.  

God’s way of reaching you and me will not resemble the way He reaches out to anyone else.  We are each unique and so is His plan to scale the mountains to our hearts.  No one knows our story better than God and He is the only One who knows how to build a bridge. He is omniscient and can read the mental and emotional pathways of our heart.  That would be frightening if it weren’t for everlasting love and kindness.  

What might I expect as I go on this journey with God?  That’s the topic of the next few days.  Next week, the real excitement begins as we look at the ten profile characteristics of God’s daughter.  We’ve heard the bad news ~ now comes the good.  

Lord, some of your most powerful miracles with people didn’t involve words.  Jesus breathed on His disciples.  I see that You are unconventional for the sake of reaching orphans like me.  You spared no expense as You offered up Your only Son.  Amen

Mollie, our golden retriever, came to us at 4 years old with a rough story.  Put out in a woman’s backyard, rarely brought in and poorly fed, she was a victim of the heat, cold, and severe weather.  Though we have certainly spoiled her in every possible way, she is a bottomless pit of need.  She’s always begging for food and paws someone for attention relentlessly.  Though she came to us a bit withdrawn, once she got a taste of love, she couldn’t get enough.   She watches us eat our meal as she sits eye level with the table, her ears perked up, waiting for a morsel of something.  She’s hard to resist and finally we fall for it.  I’ll say to Ron, “Just give her one piece so she’s satisfied.”  I should know better.  Once she’s had a bite, the pestering gets worse.

People are a lot like that.  All of us grow up with imperfect relationships.  Those with happier childhoods don’t seem to live with that gaping hole in their heart but if you come from profound deprivation, you are aware of a bottomless pit no one can fill.  The more you’ve been hurt, the higher the expectations you have of the people in your life.  Why?  Probably because the stakes are high.  You don’t want to be hurt again so you feel the need to make the test for love and sincerity steep! If you have not found your home in Jesus, you experience needs that feel monumental.   You might think that one gesture of love, one compliment, one affirmation will make a dent in making your heart feeling fuller.  But nothing satisfies because the void is God-shaped.  Other’s compassion can easily morph into an unhealthy attachment.

Are you in a relationship that is unsatisfying?  Perhaps you’d admit that the other person has often come through for you but they just don’t do it often enough or well enough.   What has been meaningful in the past is blurred by your ongoing need for more.  You want more proof, deeper proof, that you are important and that their love is true.  The unfortunate thing is that the more you need, the more the other person backs up.  Anger and distrust are soon to follow.

High expectations are met in the love of Christ but let me qualify.   He has already proven His love.  He came to me when I was His enemy.  He died for my crimes as if He committed them Himself.  He’s given me His heart, His nature, and shares His eternal inheritance.  This love exceeds all expectations.  So, I have to be careful that, in my immaturity, I don’t come to God with a list of demands.  “If you love me, then You’ll do ‘this’.”  His love is already perfect.  Picking up my cross is not the same as God withholding.  He is not a Father of deprivation but of extravagance.

If I don’t know Jesus well and if I don’t see myself through the mirror of His Word, I won’t know my purpose.  I won’t know  my gifts.   I won’t discern my role in the kingdom.   The greatest tragedy is to miss knowing God, the whole purpose for which I was born.  The second is to miss knowing myself as God knows me.  To never be known is to never be loved.

The saddest thing is to meet someone in their fifties and to hear them say they have no idea what they are supposed to be doing with their lives.  They think they have no valuable contribution to God, to others, and to the kingdom of God.  They are marking time ~ filling their days with the details of perpetuating life.  This is not how it is supposed to be.  In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will,  Eph 1:11

But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth. Exodus 9:16  Nothing speaks like the Word of God.  God created my life to show me, and to do in me  something personal that would show me His power; the same power that created the world, the same power the made waters come out of the deep and cover the earth, and the same power that caused Jesus to sit up and walk out of a crypt. Have I experienced it firsthand? Once that Powerful One comes for me, takes hold of me, draws me to Himself and begins to speak into my heart with word after word, how can I not be changed?  It  is God that talks to me about Himself.  It is God that speaks to me about MYself.  These events are lifechanging, in and of themselves, even if they only happened once!

I learned that to spend anytime with God means being shaken to the core by love.  Living near Him means communication and disclosure.  

Purpose and definition happened organically in Your presence, Lord.   I know that You love me. I know how You made me.  I know how I fit into the plan of Your redemption of earth in my generation.  You’ve given me a joy no one can take away.  Amen