Category: Orphan Or Daughter

The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10

When a child is scared at night, he runs to his parent’s room. When he is angry, he looks for them to hear what has upset him. When he is hurt, he expects a compassionate response.  But when he has no one to turn to, spiritual orphan-ness is formed.

In many ways, this was my story.  I learned that not many would emotionally be there for me.  I’d need to take care of myself.  It was terrifying to think of taking down the walls for anyone, even God.  But Abba’s voice  began to chip away at my fearful heart.  Knowing that Jesus turned to His Father for connection and comfort when no one was there for Him made an impact on me.  I understood that Abba’s arms were a soft place to fall and I could run into His name – for many reasons.

• When life was chaotic and the stress was more than I could bear, I ran home to Abba. He calmed the beating of my heart until I could breathe normally again.
• When my heart had been broken by unloving people, I ran home to Abba’s arms. He smoothed the ragged edges of disappointment and tempered my desire to withdraw from people.
• When caring for others left me depleted, I ran home to Abba.  No matter how empty, He filled every crevice with the fullness of Himself.

There is absolutely nothing that can keep me from Abba’s invitation to run home. Always, in every situation imaginable, He is my soft place to fall.

Even when You don’t fix my circumstances, You stand behind the promises of Fatherhood.  Thank you!  Amen

So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. Ephesians. 2:19

I hear this all the time ~ ‘My spiritual sisters (or brothers) are more my family than my real family.’ How many have found a home within their small group, or with a spiritual prayer partner! That is not surprising as it was God who told us in scripture that we, as His children, are a family of sons and daughters and He is our Father. This news is more precious and more life-saving if our family of origin left us without a sense of connectedness.

On a certain day, Jesus faced twelve of his disciples and prepared to send them out with a lengthy word of preparation. He said, “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Matthew 10:34  He went on to describe how family members will strain against each other because of one person’s loyalty to Jesus and another’s enmity to Christ. Maybe you know this firsthand. After believing in Jesus and making Him Lord of your life, spiritual sparks quickly manifested within your family. The news of your conversion wasn’t welcome. Where you once fit in, everything was different as you understood that you answered to God first. The sword of Truth divided you among your own people.

Even in Christians homes, there can be fractures. Many grew up without a father, or mother, or siblings. Others were in destructive relationships. If you’re like me, the generation who raised us were not good at communicating their feelings. They grew up in the depression and didn’t have the luxury of stopping to process how difficult life was. They dug deeply, bore the burden of providing for their loved ones, and through that provision, assumed that their kids (and spouses) knew they were loved. Knowing it and experiencing it are two different things however. Even with hardworking responsible parents, the emotional deprivation hangs like a shadow over your soul.

However deep the longing for family, and whatever the reason, it can be satisfied within God’s family. What draws us together is the shared experience of the Gospel. What binds us together is the Spirit of God who lives inside each of us. Worship and prayer, experienced corporately, offer poignant fellowship. The stronger a child of God is filled with the Spirit, the stronger the bond with another child of God who is also filled with the Spirit. The world calls it ‘chemistry’ but God calls it a Holy Spirit tie that is not easily broken.

Help me connect to more of Your children whose passion runs deep. Amen

He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me. Lord, what are human beings that you care for them, mere mortals that you think of them? Psalm 144:2-3

What do a future and an inheritance have in common? They are both things out of my control. I can’t write my future and I can’t put myself in someone’s will. Good news, though. God is all powerful and He controls both. There’s nothing worse than being under the thumb of someone who has this kind of power but is not trustworthy. It’s makes all the difference that God is holy. He writes my glorious future and fashions an inheritance beyond my wildest imagination. This makes me fall on my face in worship.

Worshiping and standing in awe of God are the purposes of my life. Until the experience of being awestruck takes over my heart, I’m not yet living. I’m really the walking dead.

Only mankind can experience awe. The animal kingdom is not awe-driven. They might quiver over the size of a predator staring them in the face but they do not have the capability of standing on the rim of the Grand Canyon and of marveling who made it all. It is only man who is to center his life around the One who is glorious. I am to stand in awe of the future and feel a sense of wonderment regarding the inheritance waiting for me.

The tragedy is that I can be in awe of my present challenges instead of in awe of my future. Side by side, are they even comparable? I can be in awe of my pain level instead of in awe of the joys that await me in glory. Side by side are they even comparable?

I can be in awe of the my economic difficulties instead of in awe of my spiritual inheritance. Are they even comparable? I can be in awe that I didn’t get what I deserved in a family settlement instead of in awe that I will get what I don’t deserve in heaven. Construct your own personal comparisons today and see if your hope rises!

Oh, the pain of those who have been surprised at the reading of a will. Those who thought they would be remembered generously after the death of a loved one find out that they were not remembered at all. What do they do with the pain of that?

To live in awe of my future and my inheritance is to live in deferred hope. Nothing here can make me sour if I keep my eyes on Jesus. His love defies superlative language descriptors. I’m wealthy and so are you if God is your Father. Others might not be able to tell by looking at us with the exception of our lifestyle of gratitude. We who are visiting the valley of suffering, with the joy of deferred hope in tact, will astound others. We are homesick children of God; persecuted but not destitute, pressed down, but ever awe-struck.

Nothing deserves my awe but You because You are Lord over everything. Amen

For through Him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Therefore you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens of the saints and members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus Himself as the cornerstone. Ephesians 2:18-20

Picture a group of believers having dinner together and you are among them. You are strangers to each other and so each of you begins to tell a little about yourself; where you grew up, your early life, current family status, etc. If you’re reading this and thinking, “That sounds like fun. . .” then you probably have a past without much shame. You are eager for it to be your turn but if your story was significantly challenging, you probably dread the time all eyes will be on you. Feelings of shame will rise up in your throat.

For each story where the Gospel has shaped families, I praise God. For each story where the Gospel has saved families, I praise God. I want to remind every woman who is reading this and feeling shame over her past that, as God’s child, she has a 2nd family. Each of us have two births, a physical and spiritual, and each has two families, a physical and a spiritual. Regardless of how unrighteous our family of origin was, our spiritual family makes up for it.

Consider this quote from Methodist Theologian, Christopher Hall. For the church fathers, the Scripture was to be studied, pondered, and exegeted within the context of worship, reverence, and holiness. Now, they are connected to you and you can tell their story as your own.

Each of us has giants of faith in our spiritual lineage. Imagine if we could begin our testimony this way ~“My story is full of darkness and light. My earthly father left when I was four years old. I never knew him. But in God’s providence, I became His child and He is my Father. I know Him well and can tell you countless stories of how He is graciously fathering me.” Now that’s a testimony that can, and should, be common among all of us. The thread of God’s fatherhood binds us together and we share the common experience of finding God to be glorious and personal. Who is in my spiritual family?

• My sister, Hannah. Besieged by hard times. Driven to the temple by grief. The object of longterm ridicule and the scourge of barrenness, which was understood in her culture as God’s curse. The recipient of a miracle in the conception of Samuel. The author of one of the greatest songs of faith and praise in all of scripture. I Samuel 1My brother, David. Th
• My brother, David.  The least of his brothers. Raised under God’s watchful care in far off fields as a shepherd. Achieved prominence as a musician who could sing away demonic. Suffered as a result of sinning boldly. Known for worshipping just as boldly. Characterized as someone who felt quick remorse over his own sin. Remembered as a man after God’s heart.

Remind me that I have a rich spiritual heritage and waiting inheritance. Amen

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.  I Peter 4:10-11

Every child of God has a spiritual gift. Most have several. There are a defined number available to us and they are easily discerned by taking a spiritual gifts test. I hope you’ve done that. Each of us needs to know. God gave spiritual gifts to us to give us the privilege of working with Him. Building the kingdom within the area of our spiritual gifts gives us joy and a great sense of purpose.

But there are also gifts that reside within our personalities. Because there are so many, these are harder to discern. It takes being in relationship with others to discover them. It requires feedback to help us see where our strengths lie because everyone is unique. Some have a way of telling a story. Someone like my friend, Phyllis, can take a clipping from most any shrub, stick it in the ground, and see it flourish. My sister in law paints what she calls a ‘doodle’ every day. She takes a 4 x 6 piece of parchment and with a few water color paints, draws something stunning in less then an hour. Other gifts would include the ability to simplify what is complicated. The ability to turn a phrase and make people laugh. The ability to think critically, like my sister, in order to speak on behalf of others. (She’s a lawyer.) The ability to compose music in your head without an instrument in sight. The ability to calm animals. The ability to to see a lamp, picture, and an antique chair and create a room around them.

Gifts are from God. We all have them. Some of us found them later in life. We grew up in a relational vacuum with little feedback from adults. We never heard parents and family members describe the unique ways we were created. As adults however, we are not powerless to know ourselves. God is our Father now and will show us what we lack. We must do two things.

• Ask our Creator to help us discover our uniqueness. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all. Psalm 139:2-3
• Ask a few intuitive friends who knows us well. If they walk with Jesus, they have an even greater edge of answering with wisdom.

It pains me to hear a woman say that she doesn’t believe she has any gifts. It’s not only NOT true but she is living a life without purpose. I encourage you to ask your Father today, “Tell me three things you love about me; three things you wired into me when You created me.” I did that recently and got an answer immediately. His answer made me sit up and take notice of whether I was investing my time to use those three qualities. His answer also prompted me to tweak my priorities. May God surprise you with His answer.

Reveal us to ourselves ~ through Your eyes ~ for Your glory. Amen

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. Matthew 6:22

Have you experienced a Spirit-bond? I’m talking about what happens when you meet someone and the Holy Spirit in you recognizes the Holy Spirit in them. The two of you want to reach out immediately to fellowship. It’s a moment like Mary and Elizabeth shared when their two unborn babies discerned the identity of the other.

Each child of God has a part of the Trinity living inside. The Spirit of the Light of the World came to dwell inside a human spirit. Wow! Shouldn’t His Light in their eyes be the natural outcome?

Oh, that I would love God so much that I can’t speak His name without my face changing! My eyes should get soft and somewhat transparent. His name should bring a change to my countenance. “He means everything to me,” should be my answer when I’m asked by strangers if I’m a religious person. They expect to hear about religious performance but what if they heard about a love relationship?

Few authors wrote more about the love of God than Brennan Manning. “Do you believe that the God of Jesus loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity—that he loves you in the morning sun and in the evening rain—that he loves you when your intellect denies it, your emotions refuse it, your whole being rejects it. Do you believe that God loves without condition or reservation and loves you this moment as you are and not as you should be.”

If I could stand a foot away from the face of God and dare to look into His face, I would be overcome by the love that I saw there. It would be so overwhelming that I would crumble under the realization that such affection existed for me. After the encounter, never would I say God’s name without that specific memory washing over me again. I would fully believe to the depths of me that He has redeemed me and made me His. I would be utterly convinced that He’s for me, not against me. He blesses me, not condemns me. I would never be afraid to run home again. I would never be shy about asking the Holy Spirit to fill me when the people of earth leave me unsatisfied. I would forgive easily ~ knowing that whatever wrong has been done against me will be made right by a Father who rules His kingdom of children with perfect justice.

The glory of the Lord rests upon us. Glory is brilliant and begs to shine.

Pools of Light, Lord. Let your radiance be seen in my eyes. Amen

To them I will give in My house and within My walls a memorial and a name
better than that of sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name
which will not be cut off. Isaiah 56:5

Ever notice that friends give each other nicknames? Children get baby nicknames that usually stick no matter how old they get. Even pet’s names get changed over time, usually shortened to a syllable. (I won’t even tell you the names I’ve given my cats. They are the source of much teasing at our house.)

To change someone’s name legally, you must have the authority to do so. Who has more authority than God! He changed significant people’s names all throughout scripture. They correlated to a new God-given calling or their new role in history. Abram ~ Abraham. Saul ~ Paul. Simon ~ Peter. Sarai ~ Sarah. Judah ~ Israel.

For over a year, God began speaking to me about my name; probably because I hated my middle name to such an extent that I wouldn’t tell many people what it even was. There isn’t enough time to tell you the whole story but let me just say that the my feelings changed entirely about my middle name, Eloise, by the time the Spirit of God revealed some things.

One thing I’ve come to believe is this ~ each of us should find out the meaning of our name. It may have scriptural roots and a significance that fits our personality and calling. Satan works through the brokenness of other people in our lives to achieve specific things ~ one of which is to make us believe that we are the exact opposite of what our name represents. For instance, if I have a name that means ‘adventurer and courageous’, life would have dealt me some blows that caused me to become conservative and timid. I must, by God’s grace, grow into my name.

Because of the Gospel, I inherited many new names. Beloved, saint, friend, daughter, etc. I also inherited a name that only God calls me and, one day, I will hear Him speak that name. To him who overcomes, to him I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it.’ Revelation 2:17 I’ve met 2 people who say they already know what their new name is as they’ve heard God speak it in prayer. I have no reason to doubt them and think that their stories are pretty awesome. They didn’t tell me this arrogantly; in fact, they were a bit shy to admit it. I will say that there was a look on their faces as they spoke of it. A look I won’t forget.

What do you think your new name will be? But, have you also embraced the names and identities that came with salvation? We must shed the names bullies called us as well as the malicious names that were spoken by friends and family. Our new name comes off the lips of Jesus so tenderly.  It’s the nickname between intimates.

Give me the courage to believe every name You’ve already given me. Amen

No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.   Romans 4:20

Every single person who lives like an orphan does so from breach of trust.  Their willingness to place their lives in God’s care and provision has been suspended.  Pain facilitated that by unearthing their bad theology.   Somewhere along the line, Satan introduced thoughts about God’s character, like ~ He’s not loving.  He can’t be trusted.  He doesn’t treat His children well.  You’re better off taking care of yourself.

What is the posture of someone who distrusts another?  They back up. They reserve warmth. They keep thoughts private. They make a decision to need nothing from others.  And this is where so many are with God.  I lived there for a long, long time.  God’s character needed defending and God used a few people in my life to do just that.  They didn’t scold and confront my unbelief. In truth, they didn’t know what was going on in my heart.  They just shared their own stories about God’s tenderness. 

They revealed portions of scripture that were not familiar to me about the heart of God and the heart of the scriptures.  Slowly, my skepticism cracked and childlike trust emerged.  I dared believe in the goodness of God toward me.  I personalized the good news of the Gospel.  As trust in God grew, I was willing to step away from the safety of orphan thinking and risk trusting Him enough to live as His daughter.

I’ve been asked repeatedly about this ministry.  I answer that Daughters of Promise teaches women how to live as God’s child.  This is really a quick over-simplification.  Really, this ministry reaches out to orphans, helps them identify the cracks in their faith and the places where they distrust God.  Then, I have the privilege of telling stories and teaching the Word to highlight the beautiful character of God.  I get to defend His heart and start the rewarding work of reconciliation.  Women move from distrust to trust.  This series is the perfect example of that mission at work.  

If your eyes have been opened to your orphan ways, mission accomplished.  If hope for change and a different way of life has been stirred in your heart, mission accomplished.  If you’re daring to believe that God really has been at work in your painful story, mission accomplished.  And if you find yourself anxious to read about the characteristics of a spiritual daughter in the coming days, mission accomplished.  And how I love what God has called me to do.  How I love seeing you come alive.

You know that I am never preaching at you.  I’m sharing my own story and I pray that by doing that, you will have the courage to trust God for your own metamorphosis.  

So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army. Ezekiel 37:10

Orphans aren’t changed through a new belief system. It’s a start but by itself, it only yields changed behavior. If you tell a child, “Don’t need me so much,” they will feel rejected. Behavior will improve as they are then afraid to show their need. This is what it is to study the Word of God without the breath of the Spirit.  Good behavior vs. real heart change.  Consider this story and picture it as you read it.

Ezekiel (in a vision) is brought to the precipice of a valley. As he looks down, he sees carnage. Something horrific has happened and the valley floor is full of skeletons. He is distraught and asks God, “How can these bones live?” God doesn’t tell him it’s impossible. He tells him to do something and prophesy to the bones. That means, speak the Word of God over them. Ezekiel obeys and it takes effect. He sees the bones begin to move and show signs of life. Skin forms on the skeletons and flesh becomes visible. But they still lie there half dead, half alive. Something additional needed to happen.

The breath of the Spirit. The wind came and God breathed over that valley – over the Word that Ezekiel had spoken. The Word, plus the Spirit’s breath, brought completion to the resurrection below. Breath entered them and they all stood on their feet.

This is Old Testament. Is there a New Testament correlation? Yes, when Jesus talks to Nicodemus and tells him that to be born again, he must come by way of the Word and the Spirit. The Spirit (wind) blows over the darkened mind of an unbeliever. Eyes are open and their heart is ready for the 2nd part of the miracle. The Gospel is proclaimed and there is spiritual understanding. The Spirit, plus the Word, bring new life to the one who is spiritually dead.

So, how does God heal the heart of an orphan? Through His Word and through the breath of His Spirit. As you review the ten orphan characteristics, which ones describe your way of life? Did you own them? You are on the precipice of change. Knowing exactly what is wrong and acknowledging it is the beginning of a new life. The next step is to live in the scriptures that address your orphan ways. Ask the Spirit of God to breathe over your heart, over the lies, over what has been dead-end behavior. As you make those scriptures yours and meditate on them, be aware and continue to ask the Holy Spirit to write them on your heart. Close your eyes as you recite them. Jesus is there with you, and if you ask, He will breathe over you just as powerfully as when He stood in the upper room and breathed over a group of disciples that were depressed and feeling hopeless. What happened? Timidity was replaced by boldness. Unbelief melted away and passion took them from hiding in fear to public ministry. They gave up their lives joyfully.

Your Word is in me. Your Spirit is in me. I have both and I want to be changed. Amen