A Little Defensive?

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.  Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.  Psalm 51:3-4

The first obstacle humanity faces is to recognize its own guilt.  The second challenge, once recognized, is to own it both personally and publicly.  Rarely do we encounter others who quickly admit to being wrong.  Even when backed into a corner and the guilt is obvious, they can still feign innocence.  I can’t be too hard on them.  Without Jesus, I wouldn’t want to admit to being wrong either.  If my sense of self is fragile, I will feel I can’t afford to be at fault.

If I am addicted to others respect and acceptance, being wrong is not an option.  At all costs, I must talk my way out of situations lest those around me come to the conclusion that I’m guilty.  Self-defense can be developed into a cunning art form.  I can do it so much that acquitting myself with great confidence happens like breathing.

If I am one who has trouble admitting I’ve sinned, I must bring my shaky self to the arms of Christ.  I have not yet understood my sin, the power of the cross, and Christ’s love for me.  I am holding on to a faulty self-righteousness that needs to be surrendered at Calvary.  Admitting guilt does not diminish me, it frees me to enjoy God’s mercy.  Never am I more attractive to others than when humble.

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It’s A Dangerous Business

Deliver me from my enemies, O my God; protect me from those who rise up against me; deliver me from those who work evil, and save me from bloodthirsty men. For behold, they lie in wait for my life; fierce men stir up strife against me. For no transgression or sin of mine, O Lord, for no fault of mine, they run and make ready. Psalm 59:1-4

Christianity is a dangerous enterprise. Jesus has always been a threat to someone’s power or ideology.

There’s a new movie out in the theatres called The Young Messiah. I’ve attended it twice and have been equally moved both times. While fictional, the movie portrays what the 12th year of Jesus life might have looked like. The story starts in Alexandria, Egypt. Jesus and His family had lived there since Joseph was told to take Mary and Jesus away from Judea. You remember that every male child was massacred and Jesus was the only one to survive Herod’s rampage.

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The movie shows the possibility that Jesus spent much of his life in danger, even though young. Joseph and Mary lived with the stress of keeping their son alive. His touch on people was profound even though He was a child. The searing truths He spoke about God exposed evil and those who had an issue with God took issue with Him. The storyline proposes that Jesus raised a dead bird to life and even healed the sick. His compassion for people urged Him to ask His Father in heaven for healing. And it came! News of His spiritual power was hard to keep quiet and threats to annihilate Him were everywhere. Joseph and Mary begged onlookers to keep news of Jesus quiet.

On the one hand, it’s hard to understand why someone who just wants to love God provokes such anger. Worship is a quiet thing and a private endeavor, right? I used to think so. But to love God means to accept the great commission of His Son, Jesus. To convert and to make disciples is to challenge the god of this world, the very one who comes disguised as the respected leader of all man-made religions. To share Jesus is to threaten every other world view, even if done with love and compassion.

I understand, Lord. I’m not called to live as someone who loves You. I’m called to let You live through me. It’s Your life they see. You were hated once and will be hated again and again as Your glory shines through Your servants. Advance Your kingdom in the midst of hatred. In Jesus’ name, Amen

 

 

Do I Really Know My Potential?

DO I REALLY KNOW MY POTENTIAL?

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.  Psalm 92:12-14

Every living thing needs the right environment so it can be all God designed it to be.  Put a fish on a beach and he will slowly die.  A passerby will have no idea that he can swim or have a clue that swimming is in his nature.  He will lie there pathetically, leading others to misunderstand who he is. Put an eagle in water and you will never get to see him soar on wind thermals.  He will sink to the bottom.  Put a panther in a zoo and kids who see him through the glass will never understand that he can run at clocked speeds of 64 mph.  It is only when each of God’s creation lives in his perfect environment that his full potential is released.  Only there can he rise to his spiritual destiny.  Are the wheels turning?

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Training My Fingers For Battle

Blessed be the LORD, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.  Psalm 144:1

You are such a kind Father. You do not send children to the front lines to be annihilated by an enemy who is too strong for them. You’ve given me everything I need to be victorious over any tactic, any scheme, strategy, or plan of the enemy.  While he may be cunning and know me well,  (for he knows where and when to strike), Your weapons are mighty and promise a way of escape.  At the end of the day, I will stand on my feet like David, assessing Goliath, who lay in defeat because he failed to cover a stone-sized piece of exposed forehead.  I anticipate victory today because my weaponry is fashioned by You.

So, make me a soldier.  Train my hands for war.  I am in boot camp.  I am a soldier, not a civilian.  Today, I put on the pieces of armor You have provided for me.  You inspired the Apostle Paul to reveal that You armor is the armor of Light.  It is You, Lord Jesus Christ.

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Where Are You Hiding?

You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance.  Psalm 32:7

It can be comforting to hide somewhere away from the crowd.  I can avoid someone I dread.  I can regroup when I need the quiet.  I can also conceal myself in order to stay safe.  King David called God His hiding place.  Instead of hiding from God, He hid in God.

Quite a different scenario with Adam however.  He gave the wrong answer when God asked him where he was hiding.  Adam said, “I’m hiding because I’m naked.”  That wasn’t true.  He should have said, “I’m hiding because I disobeyed you.”  The right answer seemed too incriminating.

I’ve avoided God.  I’ve quenched His quiet voice calling out to me.  I’ve kept the noise level around me high to drown Him out.  The more time went by, the harder it was to turn around. Excuses were thin when I stood before a holy God.  “I was busy” didn’t cut it.  Like Adam, I was hiding from the real issue.

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Behind all excuses is usually sin.  I did something I shouldn’t have done.  I believed something about Him that wasn’t true which caused me to distrust His love and faithfulness.  The fracture in our relationship couldn’t be made right until I told the truth outloud.

Sooner or later, every person who hides from God will stand before Him.  They will encounter Him as Judge or Savior.   Those who ran from His presence because they were disobedient children will mourn their choices.  When blinded by the glory of such a wonderful God, they will regret all the small things they hid behind.  Those who ran from His presence because they were enemies of the cross will also mourn their choices.  Like the rich man in Hades, they will see the expanse of an eternity before them that offers no second chances.

And this is the irony ~ I can be consumed today with just a sideways glance of a mere acquaintance.  Thinking something might be wrong, I obsess.  But, am I equally consumed when I sense that things between God and me aren’t right?  Am I willing to do whatever it takes to make it right, starting with the willingness to own the truth?  I will know things are right again when the thought of hiding in God makes me run home.

Sometimes, I haven’t known what was wrong but when I asked, You showed me.  Thank you for all the times You looked for me and called my name.  In Jesus’ name, Amen

The ‘You’ Of Ten Years Ago

Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling!  Psalm 43:3

When the Word of God is spoken, the possibility for understanding and then transformation exists.  Whether or not that occurs in the life of a person is dependent on their response to the hearing of the Word.  Understanding what has been spoken depends on the person declaring themselves ‘simple’.  “Lord, I do not have any wisdom about my life apart from you.  I am a dark place without the light of your Word.  Teach me.” To this person, the Word comes as a sword and slices an opening in the soul where the shaft of light can penetrate.  When light touches darkness, the darkness is challenged.  And, if the light is then embraced, the darkness will be transformed.  The heart will be washed with the water of the Word and new thinking and feeling will occur.  In a short time, behavior changes.

Take any disciple who has immersed themselves in the Word over a long period of time and they will tell you that they no longer think like the person who lived a decade ago.  They will, most likely, have a hard time remembering how they were.  This is true of me.  The insecure and fearful woman of my thirties began to discover the life-shaping power of the Word of God and the light of God’s love touched my insecurity.  The strength of God’s character collided with my fear.  I began the journey of healing and am still discovering the cataclysmic effect of what happens when God’s Words unfold inside this simple woman.  Boldness, spiritual understanding, and joy have been the biggest changes.

Light can be soft, enveloping me like a warm blanket.  It can also be blinding and convicting.  No matter how it comes, I must not run from it.  Defending myself against the need of it would be my demise.  Even when it sears, it saves.  Running away for fear of change or exposure is my loss!

What Word do I need today?  Comfort, guidance, assurance of something?  My need exists because I’m aware of a dark place that is in desperate want of the Light.  Need takes me to Jesus’ feet.  Like Mary, I say “teach me”.  The simple student is usually the teacher’s favorite.  Is that not true?  So whatever the Master says, let me be a student that soaks it in like a sponge.

When my heart faints because I have no plan to save myself, I come simply. Let the unfolding of Your Word bring light into my darkness. I live in hope of Your instruction.  In Jesus name, Amen

When Does Abundant Life Begin?

The children of men drink their fill of the abundance of Your house.  You give them to drink of the river of Your delights.  Psalm 36:8

God offers me abundance.  Delightful abundance.  But you might be wondering, “How come I don’t have it yet?”  The promise is predicated upon admissions of need and my understanding of what abundance really is.  For example, to receive forgiveness, I must admit that I’ve sinned.  To receive salvation, I must agree with God that I’m desperately lost.  To receive wisdom, I must acknowledge my foolishness.

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Spiritual bankruptcy is foundational if I want to experience God’s promise of prosperity, abundance, and well-being.  He explained it to the Pharisees in the language of spiritual blindness.  They were contesting every claim He had ever made.  They were denying having any need of Him.  Jesus told them this ~ If you claim to see, then you will remain blind.  But if you know you’re blind, I will give you spiritual sight.  When I deny my need of Him, I deny myself the benefits that come with that relationship.  And I can be sure that I don’t even control my unbelief. Satan sees my arrogance and considers it an open invitation to set up a stronghold in every place where I think I’m okay.  Unbelief metastasizes.

Each of us probably knows the saying, ‘Each man has his blind spots.’  A blind spot is any place where a person fails to admit their vision is skewed.  They can even be eloquent in their defense.  Any of us who have tried to argue with someone in the area of their blindness knows the utter frustration of going round and round and getting nowhere.  This is what Paul refers to in 2 Cor. 10:4-5 when he describes ‘every lofty thought that sets itself up against the truth of God.’  It’s their man-made logic, a kind of iron grid, that is only defeated with the sword of the Spirit tearing down the stronghold of deception.

When the sun rises, I remember that I am a child in the kingdom.  No matter my age, I am still small before God.  No matter my accumulation of knowledge, I still need the renewed mind that only He can fashion.  Abundant life is never where I think it’s going to be.  Narrow is the way that leads there and few there be that discover where abundant begins.

Search my heart.  Shine your light on my blind spots so that I may truly see and live in the abundance of Your divine life.  I want to feel the river of Your delights around my feet.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

Withholding Praise

Accept my freewill offerings of praise, O Lord.  Psalm 119:108

People who withhold words may do so to maintain a sense of power over others.  They refuse to affirm, or praise, and one never knows where you stand with them.  When those people are your parents, it’s very unsettling for a child.  You grow up unsure of yourself.   So when I approach God, am I repeating the past by being stingy with my own words?

  • When someone loves me, I want to hear all about their love.  Why they love, what they love, when they first loved, and how committed their love is.  God is no different.  May I never just croak out a stingy form of expressed love by joining the crowd in singing, “I Love You, Lord.”  That won’t do.

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  • When someone has really hurt me and attempts to offer an apology, I don’t want a token “Sorry!”  It’s important to hear them express what they did and how they feel about the fact that they hurt me.  Feelings of remorse should be present if the apology is real. When I go to the altar to deal with my own sin, am I offering a token “Sorry!”, or am I willing to tell God what I did and how I feel about the fact that I’ve offended Him?  Am I brokenhearted because I broke our fellowship and will I tell Him so?

Hosea is one who encouraged plentiful words.  “Take with you words and return to the LORD; say to Him, “Take away all iniquity; accept what is good and we will pay with bulls the vows of our lips.”  Hosea 14:2 If my words are few, I don’t have a speech problem but a heart problem.  It is the heart which dictates what lips say.  If my heart is full, speech is uninhibited.

I have been in awkward situations.  So have you.  Words have been stuck in my throat.  My heart was in conflict.  If I find myself ambivalent about God, loving Him one moment but feeling nothing the next, the most important thing I can do is admit it.  I am invited to pour out words in prayer that addresses my conflict.  If I’m just stingy because my heart has grown cold, then I must take myself to the Word and deal quickly with my spiritual condition.  The Spirit will show me when my heart died, and why.

Having been someone who lived for long periods of time in wordless places, I know the exhilaration of now having a language which bubbles over.  My passion for Jesus spills out in words; teaching, storytelling, pleading, encouraging, praying.  God has brought me out of a silent well to a spacious place.  The first thing I heard was my own voice.

Whether I weep or sing, my words are poured out toward your gracious heart for me.   In Jesus name, Amen

Accused of Being a Stumbling Block

No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.  Psalm 25:3

         I’ve been acquainted with numerous Christian organizations that wanted to legislate nearly every part of life.  Admittedly, if someone listened to everyone who had an opinion about every peripheral issue of life, they’d be frozen in place.  So many have something to say about everything.

          Having lived in a fishbowl of some notoriety, I can tell you that your life is often studied by others.  With study comes criticism.  Some is ludicrous, some is ignorant due to lack of information, and some is probably justified.  Sifting through it though, and sorting out the hurt feelings that come from others’ comments, is difficult.  Criticism usually comes from those with whom you have no personal relationship.

How dare you         So, am I to adjust my behavior to every person who say they are offended by me?  That can’t be the right answer because legalism will always be with us.  So will honest seekers who stumble because we’re a forgiven, yet sinful, people.

         I believe, for me, the answer lies in considering the one I am offending. If the spirit of legalism rules this person’s life, seeking to encroach upon the true spirit of liberty Jesus died to extend to His children, then I am not obligated to comply.  I want to extend the grace of Christ Jesus to others so why would I take on a yoke that Jesus died to free me from?

         But, if I encounter someone who is honestly seeking Jesus, one who loves the Word and is growing in his faith, but also one who stumbles over a particular thing I’m doing, I should consider his fragile faith and change my behavior.  I am not to impeded in any way what God is building.

         For any of us who have walked out of the pit of legalism into the spacious place of grace, this can seem like a step backwards.  It might feel like I am walking again in the bondage I left behind.  It probably does feel like that but it is not like that.  Look, I can’t sort this out without prayer and looking for the nod of my Savior over whether anothers issue with me is a valid one.  If it is, Jesus will give me the grace to consider my brother even though it will take some time for my emotions, damaged by past experience, to catch up.  Legalism will always be a tender spot for any of us who have been beaten up under its umbrella.

Who can sort it out?  Only Your Spirit.  I’m glad You’re in me, teaching me, making hard things clear.  Thank you for the grace to obey when my feelings betray me.  In Jesus name, Amen

Is This Really A Prayer God Answers?

I have done what is just and right, do not leave me to my oppressors.  Psalm 119:121

This is the prayer of many today, maybe even you.  Each of us will taste of a season where oppressors torment us.  We will cry out, as David did, to be saved from our enemies.  Sometimes, God immediately delivers but in my experience, that is the exception.  Are we then to presume that God turns a deaf ear to our cries for help?  Continue reading “Is This Really A Prayer God Answers?”