Because I love Jesus, I want to reach out to those who need Him.  I pray they will experience Him in our relationship and come to desire Him as their treasure.  While this is the ultimate goal, the spiritual mechanics of making it all work in the context of ministry and people’s sinfulness, including my own, make it very messy.

Are you ministering to someone that drowns you?  You see their name on caller ID and your body sinks.  Those nearby see it in your body language.  You wonder if you have the energy for the phone call because you’re learning that you just can’t give enough.  You poured yourself out just two days ago but they’ll need you to do it all over again.  Apparently, what you gave just didn’t ‘stick’.  Their needs were too profound.  You feel that if you pull away to save yourself from burning out, you will damage their view of God.  Such is the nature of navigating soul ties in ministry.

It is far easier for a hurting person to seek the ‘Jesus in you’ than to seek Jesus for themselves.  So while your motive may be to love them on behalf of Jesus (so that they will turn to Him), many will latch on to you and try to live off your faith instead.  Second hand faith starts out well but ends up in idolatry.

The goal of helping anyone hurting is to listen, empathize and comfort, take them to Jesus, and then know when to back up so He can speak to them.  We must be teaching others how to interact with God through His Word and prayer; meditating, studying, applying scripture, and connecting with Him in prayer.  Discipling doesn’t mean carrying.  It means delivering them to the arms of Christ so that He can carry.

If you have someone in your life that communicates exclusivity, be careful. “Only you really understand me.”  “Only you make me feel better when I’m in crisis.”  These are the foundations of soul ties if left unchecked.  Equipping those I serve with adequate spiritual skills is the most loving thing I can do for another’s spiritual growth.