A soul tie is an unholy connection between people. The foundation of this toxic connection is a mutual commitment to meet each other’s needs in a way that circumvents the sufficiency of Christ. 

Connection isn’t wrong.  We were designed by God to interact and bond with Him first, and then, with each other.  Scripture says that we are capable of being knit together.  …that their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ Himself.  Colossians 2:2   

The problem is ~ if the ‘knitting together is not of God, it is an holy thing.  God is to be ‘the cake’ and people are to be ‘the icing.’  I am to look to God first for what I need and people around me are to be supplemental resources.  But when I make people ‘the cake’ and God ‘the icing’, idolatry is set up to run its course.  It ends bitterly as each person in the relationship comes up against the other one’s sinfulness and personal limits. 

This is what it looks like in the body/soul/spirit illustration. Two people with large souls (and little Spirit influence) are relating to each other soul to soul. Needs and wants scream for attention and demand fulfillment. Each is willing to oblige the other because it feels good to each one for different reasons.  One usually needs the other while the other thrives on being needed.  The influence of the Spirit, who desires to purify the relationship, is way in the background because He has essentially been minimized in influence.  God has to give each of us the grace to follow Him first and possibly sustain another’s anger when we no longer jump at their bidding.

Tomorrow, we’ll start exploring kinds of soul ties.  Adult children and parents.  Older adults and deceased parents.  Parents and young children.  And, people in ministry and those they serve.