Or who has given a gift to Him that He might be repaid?  Romans 11:35

Are you trapped because you feel you are beholding to someone?  Perhaps you are trying to pay them back for a debt you never asked to assume. The unexpected relational toll has been expensive.  To make things worse, you have no idea how to extricate yourself from this unhealthy dynamic in a way that honors Jesus.

To receive a gift with no strings attached is ideal but oftentimes rare.  That’s because many people need to be the hero.  This motivates them to give in order to get excessive praise in return.  The more they sacrifice, the bigger the hero they think they will be in the recipient’s eyes!   What thwarts their narcissistic plan is a child of God who follows Jesus and is unwilling to cooperate with emotional extortion.

Even though God is the biggest Giver of all, He does not entrap.  When He gives sacrificially, He gives me the freedom to react without being manipulated.  He doesn’t have an ego to feed.  While He hopes I’ll worship Him for the great gift of His Son, He will still love me even when I’m stingy with a thank you.  He is not like people who keep reminding me about their gift, keeping me on their hook for perpetual praise.

 So, what would happen if I stopped the cycle and refused to enable narcissistic addictions?   If someone gives a gift, I will humbly say, ‘Thank you.’  I will tell them how much it means to me while not inflating my expressions of thanks because I know they expect it.  I must decide that I will not be trapped by someone who could punish me for not giving them the attention to which they feel entitled.  Narcissism offends God, for He will not share His glory with anyone.  When I fawn insincerely at the altar of a narcissist, I enable the exaltation of pride, the very thing that fueled Satan’s mutiny in heaven.  I can stop this today.  God makes a way of escape when I ask Him for His help.

You tell me that I owe no debt because You paid it all.  It’s true.  You so loved the world that You gave. . . Amen