THE OTHER SIDE OF REGRET

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.  Romans 6:22

Yesterday’s devotional prompted a lot of you to write to me.  Regret was a powerful topic and most of you expressed why you struggle with it.  You are not having trouble moving on for your own sake, but for the sake of those you hurt.  The consequences of past choices are ever in front of you in the lives of family and friends who are still paying for your bad choices.

I know.  This is the result of growing in Christ.  We spend much of our adult life discovering the things we could, and should, have done differently.  We apologize to those we love over many things, asking them to forgive us.

The question is this: How can I walk in the joy of resurrection life when the pain of my choices is crippling to others?

If those we love see that we have a deep abiding joy in Christ, that we believe in God’s ability to heal and redeem, does this seem out of place to those we hurt?  I believe that the key is joy in the midst of humble sorrow; faith in the midst of unhealed pain.

Have you ever known someone who faced tragedy yet trusted God?  They wept, they were broken, yet they trusted God in the midst of it.  That is joy – in sorrow.  This is the way we express regret; brokenness amidst a joyful confidence that God will move and heal those we love.  Humbly, tearfully, we ask for their forgiveness.  Expectantly, we show them our faith for the day when God will heal anger and alienation.

If I wallow in guilt, never able to hold my head up to those who hurt, I communicate: 1.) that I don’t really understand God’s forgiveness.  2.) that I don’t really believe that God has enough power to use my mistakes for their good.

God knew our history before we lived it.  He gave us our children, our parents, our siblings.  He knew we would make mistakes and cause others harm.  Yet, he still predestined us to be in those families, to be parents of those children.  Just as He used our past hurts as catalysts to find Him, He will use their hurts (suffered at our hands) to bring them to the end of themselves.  Their pain is their opportunity to discover the power of His love and the abundant life He offers.  My faith inspires their faith.

I pray with tears.  I pray with joy.  Faith and tears can be married.  Help me so that we can be whole.  Amen