My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word! Psalm 119:27
God’s agenda for me is to strengthen my faith. Satan’s agenda is to destroy my faith. He will do it by using pain and pleasure. The pleasures tempt me to believe that there is something more desirable than God. The pain lures me to believe that God is not good nor caring. I don’t know which catalyst, pain or pleasure, is more dangerous.
David knows that when he is grieving and about to break under the strain of something heartbreaking, his greatest need is a strength that comes from God’s Word. The hug of a friend is nice, a good listening ear is valuable, a meal brought in when I’m too sick to make one for my family can be an overwhelming relief, but none will save my soul from melting away in the fires of grief. What is saving and stabilizing is a word from God.
Ron and I have experienced something that threatened to break our hearts in two. It is that issue where no words from others can dull the throbbing. It is all-consuming, bubbling beneath the surface of our smiles. Unless someone knows us well, they might be fooled by the subtle sighs and far off looks that tell the truth of our great heaviness.
God’s Word comes to me in this helpless childlike state. I may be older, but when hurting, I feel like a child. God’s child. It is not the wordy discourse on pre-destination that will comfort me when I’m in great distress. It is the Word in bite-sized nuggets that chip away at my fear and penetrate the darkness. “I know.” “I care.” “I will weep with you.” “Do not fear.” “Rest in me.” “Trust my heart.” “I’m here, now.”
Little nuggets for little children. With each one, a big hand takes a little one and trust is momentarily restored. There is radical grace, inexplicable, for the moment.
I need You. Whisper to me like a child and I will be saved. Amen