When Do I Need To Talk?

And he called the twelve and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. Mark 6:7 

When Jesus first began to choose disciples, he started with two sets of brothers. After he reached twelve, he commissioned them to go out two by two. Matthew even specifies how Jesus paired them. Why pairs? There’s a time for solitude but it should not characterize the majority of our lives. God didn’t create us to live as islands. We were designed to be interdependent.

The most dangerous thing I can do as a woman is internalize the stuff of life and process it alone. As long as it stays in my head, it’s muddled. Because I haven’t verbalized it, I can’t see clearly and feel appropriately. Though I rehearse things over and over, and though I believe I have everything figured out, I rarely do. If I add pain to the mix, it becomes a complex cobweb that can never be untangled without the help of another person who listens empathetically and responds prayerfully. Jesus must be the center of all this.

I have found that I really do need to talk about the most painful things in my life. Sometimes, I don’t know how much something hurts until I put words to it. I think I’m doing okay as long as things are unspoken. But as soon as someone safe starts asking me some questions, the threads of the story come tumbling out at random and the power of how I feel surprises me.

  • I don’t know how angry I should be until I see another’s reaction.
  • I don’t know if I’ve overreacted until I hear the story through their re-telling.
  • I don’t know if I should be grieving something instead of accepting it.
  • I don’t often know what the core issue of my heart is until someone helps me figure it out.

In talking about things, I find tears I don’t know are there. I discover anger I thought was just sadness. I uncover unbelief when I thought I was at peace. Questions like ~ “How are you handling this? What’s the worst part? How has this changed your life forever? What are you saying to yourself about this at 3:00 a.m.?” These are the catalysts for truth searches.

The power of two. Jesus knew it. Intimate relationships keep me from saying, “I’m fine!” when I’m not. Spiritual safety helps unearth the real issues.

For every one who walks alone, let this change the rest of their life. Provide Spirit-partners. Amen

One thought on “When Do I Need To Talk?

  1. Amen Dear Sister, This is how I feel but I have to be sure the person I talk to is a safe person to talk to. There are many people that will hear your story, sympathise with you and then go spread it like gossip. I was blessed with talking to a girl the same age as one of my daughters the other day. I hadn’t seen this girl for many years and she started talking about what went on in our home that I didn’t even know she knew. I was married to a very abusive man with a narcissistic personality. He made sure that he was really nice when anybody else was around. Evidently unbeknownst to him she was with my daughter in her room. When she started talking about it her mother told her to stop because she was making me feel bad. I told her “No, you are validating me because a lot of people don’t believe me when I tell them.” I am a woman’s advocate now so that I listen and believe women and validate them. Thank you God for turning what the devil meant for evil into something good. Amen.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s