Consumed

My soul is consumed with longing for your rules at all times.  Psalm 119:20

Having my soul consumed with something is not a new experience.  I know what that feels like.  I was consumed with grief when my parents died.  The loss filled my heart to such an extent that it was all I thought about.  I couldn’t enjoy holidays or the company of my favorite people for a good 18 months.  The ache in my heart was just forefront.

I’ve had my soul consumed by positive life experiences as well.  A song in the process of being written or arranged will do it.  I can’t sleep at all because string lines are running in my head.  Also, a new writing venture has consumed me.  The layout of the book, chapter divisions, and the dissection of the material were on my mind all hours of the day.  I was only physically present in other conversations.  I smiled and nodded but my mind was on my writing.

David admits that his soul is consumed with longing for God’s ways.

How many can say this?  Curious, perhaps.  Interested, of course.  But longing?  I find that I only ‘long for’ what is life-saving to me.  The only way I know if God’s ways are life-saving is by applying them.  Reading but not applying keeps me a dispassionate student.  The scriptures are kept at arms length.

If I come to the end of myself and pour out my complaint to God in search of answers, I am a good candidate to experience the longing David describes.  Consumed with need, I throw all my hope upon the scriptures.  Whatever God prescribes, I do.  I’ve no confidence left in myself.  When that occurs, God’s Word meets my places of need and there is combustion.  Hope, wisdom, and peace result.  I begin to have a new perspective about my life and feel that I am soaring in a spiritual realms.  Remembering how life used to be, and having tasted of what it means to dwell in the kingdom with Jesus, my soul develops a new kind of longing.

Ignite my spiritual appetite yet again.  I want ‘consumed’ to describe me.  Amen