THE MOMENT THAT HANGS IN THE BALANCE
And Isaac said to his father Abraham, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am, my son.” He said, “Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” Genesis 22:7
Perhaps you’ve gotten a phone call, or several, that started with… “I’m sorry but I’m afraid I have some bad news to tell you.” You had a physical visceral reaction and your mind was scrambling to prepare for what was coming.
I remember calling my parents from the Pittsburgh airport to find out the results of my mother’s recent sonogram. I was thirty at the time. My sister, Nancy, was kind and soft. Asked me how my trip was going. But I knew in my spirit she was giving me time to prepare for the bad news she had to deliver. My mother had inoperable cancer with a short time to live. I will never forget that day nor how I felt.
Can you feel this pivotal moment between Isaac and Abraham? Isaac knows there’s going to be a sacrifice. The wood is ready. But there is no visible sign of a lamb. Did he even think it possible that he might be the sacrifice? From the look on his father’s face, mostly likely he knew something cataclysmic was at stake.
These kinds of pivotal moments are terrifying. No amount of personal power and self-sufficiency can prepare me to feel like life is under my control. It isn’t. My gut knows it and that’s why I grasping for anyone to tell me this is a bad dream and I’ll wake up. At that moment, I’m a child.
God knows. At conversion, God became my new Father. He offered me a relationship where He would become my personal, sovereign, all-powerful Parent. I was invited to live as a daughter, a much loved daughter, one who could feel safe to need Him for every breath. To live childlike with Him, even on good days, especially on good days, is to secure a posture that prepares me for awful moments when I will cry out, “Abba, Daddy!” It won’t feel awkward on my tongue. In fact, it will be instinctive when I run home to Him for strength.
The world says, ‘Maturity is becoming more independent.’ God says, ‘Maturity is becoming more childlike.’ For any of us who feel like our lives hang in the balance, it is an illusion. Our Father holds us securely. I need to run home, recall His reassuring words, so that I can feel what ‘is’. Life may seem like it is unraveling but God holds the threads.
Every day of my life is planned, not only the events but the provisions. I need nothing more than I need You, Lord. Amen
Journal Question: Has there ever been a moment where you felt God didn’t care about you? Is that moment resolved in your heart? If not, it will become a spiritual cancer that metastasizes that next time you face a crisis. Work this past experience out with God in prayer. Ask Him to show You the truth about it.