SCARED AND HARD ON MYSELF
Abraham answered and said, “Behold, I have undertaken to speak to the Lord, I who am but dust and ashes. And the Lord went his way, when he had finished speaking to Abraham, and Abraham returned to his place. Genesis 18:27,33
If I don’t know the nature of God well, my prayers will be out of line. If I don’t bow before a holy Judge, I will be arrogant. If I don’t know how much He loves, I will be fearful to ask for too much.
Abraham spent a long time pleading with God, searching His mind on the matter of how many righteous would be enough for God to spare the city of Sodom. Abraham didn’t know and pressed God to reveal the limits of His grace. He was both bold and humble as he took the request to the limit.
I have been blessed enough to be near great men and women of God. One thing they had in common; they asked God for the unthinkable. They didn’t doubt at all that He could give them what they asked. Most were visionary, type-A personalities. But not all. I also knew meek men and women who asked with confidence. Boldness does not equal arrogance.
My childhood was spent near those who were self-loathing but called it humility. I was also near those who were arrogant but called themselves great men of faith. How misguided. To hate oneself is not humility. To lead boldly with no regard for the well-being of people is not wearing the spiritual power Jesus modeled.
I’m praying for boldness and humility every single day because timidity and self-critique runs in my bones. God has given me a message and calling that falls flat without the presence of either one. If I faint, the message of strategic prayer turns wimpy. If I am hard on myself, my voice is gets weaker and weaker. Of all lessons, God has been working on these two for the past five years. You can pray for me today and I will pray for you.
Abraham had your ear for the full length of his pleading. You didn’t walk away from boldness because he knew his place. Dust and ashes, yet loved and favored by You. Amen