REACHING BUT NEVER GRASPING
For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Romans 7:19
Body, soul, and spirit are so connected. My spirit is often willing, even eager, to walk as Jesus walked but that is difficult when issues of body and soul enter the picture. I remember walking around a lake near my house one morning with our dog, Freska. It was a beautiful Spring day, the kind I love. No humidity. Seventy degrees. A faint breeze. I was rested and relaxed. I remember saying to the Lord, out loud, “I feel like I could take on anything for the kingdom today.” Immediately I heard in my spirit, “Be careful, Christine! Your sense of balance is precarious.”
What He meant by that is this ~ What I want to do in my spirit becomes a challenge when my body is ill, or fatigued. If I had the flu, I probably wouldn’t have said it. It is also a challenge when my soul is hurting. If I were grieving, in the midst of personal disappointment, I would have been consumed with that and probably not even noticed the beautiful day.
So much goes into committing, or refraining from, evil. As long as I live in a mortal body, on foreign soil, with sinful people, I will be imperfect. Glorified bodies with glorified appetites will be a thing I long for, not yet experience.
How can I hope to cope with all the dynamics of personal challenges to holiness? Grace. God’s extravagant grace. It is poured out moment by moment as I express need. Need comes from self-awareness and a willingness to live in the grief, and the anticipation, of the ‘not yet’.
I get so frustrated with myself sometimes. That’s what Your grace is for. Thank you for living in the trenches with me. Amen